Michael Egbejumi-David

Since President Jonathan is still in hibernation, scared stiff of even his own shadow, and as it is becoming clear that he has no proper control of our State security apparatus, Obasanjo decided to take matters into his own hands and perhaps begin to unravel this boko killers menace...

So, Jonathan’s first 100 days in office has come and gone.  Lamentably, you’ll have to agree, the man cuts the picture of a passionless and reluctant President.  He has also managed to remind us all that a snake cannot give birth to a tadpole...

Uduaghan is a graduate of Obasanjo’s school of ‘do-or-die’ elections.  He is a nasty gift bequeathed the hapless people of Delta State by that other thief, James Ibori in a fit of sadistic irredentism...

Until a fatal combination of cirrhosis of the liver and excess Viagra did the lunatic Abacha in, between November 1993 and June 1998 everyone knew their place in Nigeria.  All our noisemaking warmongers kept well quiet...

Do you fancy being the Chairman of your Local Government Area?  Well, the general administrative and operational setup of LGAs in Nigeria has changed.   Conceptually, LGAs are supposed to be separate entities from the State government.  Not anymore...

Atiku’s unravelling has been a long time coming.  It’s turned out that his vaunted political mastery is completely overblown.  Similarly, his crayon-written PR is hugely exaggerated.  Turns out he’s no master of anything at all...

He never tires of telling people that God actually tapped him on the shoulder one fine day, commended him for his exemplary work, and told him that he was consequently and thenceforth the bishop of the whole world.  Believe me; I am not making any of this up...

I had barely sat down.  Hadn’t even had time to take the first sip of my coffee when this man planted himself in the chair directly opposite me.   It was the last thing I needed...