3-Hours With Stella Damasus-Aboderin (2)

by Susan Eyo-Honesty

Why was there the need to change the name SYNERGY?

First of all, there was really bad publicity for Synergy, and then it was shut down. Jaiye shared the company with some people, and when he died, they came, took the document, chequebook, and the equipments. The idea was for them to come back to me and say “okay, you should run the place since you were running it with him”. After the first meeting we had, I didn’t hear a word from them; I didn’t know what was going on. All I know was all the things we were using was locked up, and they put a security guard there. We couldn’t go in and all our investment, even before those people came and became part of the business, even my personal money, entered it, everything was locked up. At a point I said to myself, there were other owners and I don’t have the right to say I’m continuing. So in order to avoid trouble, I just respected myself went and registered another company. We still do basically the same thing. I still have the same staff, so I started buying my own equipment little by little. We are doing well; we are doing shows here and there.

Why the name G-Factor?

When I got the name, it meant God’s factor. When we went to CAC, we couldn’t register it, and I now decided to make it Gig Factor. That’s just the shortened form of the name of the band.

How did your in-laws help you to cope with your loss, in terms of rendering help?

In being honest, and diplomatic, I will say in the presence of God that everything I’ve done today, in terms of my mental state, my physical state, my financial state, everything I’ve done has been between God and myself. I think a lot of misconceptions had gone on, a lot of deceptions, lies, and I’ve just not been talking. I’m not about to start telling you who has done whatever, but I believe that when I say things, people will understand what I mean. Everything that I’ve been able to achieve, of course, my family did their best, but the reality of it is that, where I am now is between God and myself. Even my children, it’s been between God and myself, and that is the honest to God truth.

How did you meet Jaiye and married him. There are those who are of the belief that you became who you are now after marrying Jaiye Aboderin.

I met him at a place called Jazzville. I was living along the road the club was with a friend of mine. I’d gone to Jazzville with my colleague, then I used to work at Klinks Studio, and he was on stage with his sibling and her partner, and they were playing a particular song that I liked. Then I jumped on stage, grabbed his microphone and started singing. After the show, he called me and said that he liked my voice. We just got talking and we exchanged numbers. We never got to call each other, until almost a year later. We now met at a place in Surulere called NAG (Nigerian Actors Guild), where we used to have meetings. He told me that he was thinking of setting up his own band, but he wasn’t sure if I would be interested, and I said I wasn’t sure if I’m ready to do this band thing. Coincidentally, after a few weeks, somebody invited me to Jazzville for an audition of a band, and it turned out that he was the male singer of the band. So we started singing together, and then we started our own thing, and became very close friends. Then it started with me going to spend the weekends with him and he would take me out. We just found that we had a very good relationship, and I just noticed that if I don’t see him in a day, I’m just very not all right. (Laughs)We were very close and so we started dating. In terms of fame, I don’t come from a poor family; neither do I come from a very wealthy one. My parents were very comfortable, they were both bankers. My father was a manager with African Continental Bank and my mother was also a manager in another bank. When he left there, and went to Asaba, after he retired, he became a manager in community bank, he opened the bank, and my mother continued with her banking job. There was never an issue of; oh I didn’t have enough when I was growing up. And then, at the time Jaiye and I started dating, I had already done my first major movie, Breaking Point. It wasn’t big money, but then, the fame was there. Because in the course of our conversation, he was telling me that his girlfriend then had told him that I was a movie star, and then he wanted to see one of my movies. So he said, “ can you please bring some for me when we play at Jazzville” and I said no problem. So I brought the film to him, and he said he liked it. So the next audition that I was going to, he actually came with me, and saw how we were doing it, and he kept encouraging me. And at that time, if we are honest with each other, he was never the kind of person that will come and tell you that Oh; I’m this or that. I’ve never been a newspaper person, so sorry, but I didn’t know who the Aboderins were, I didn’t know what they were about, and I was new in Lagos. I was staying in my elder sister’s house, before we now fought because I said I wanted to go into entertainment, while she wanted me to do Law. So I didn’t know anything about them, I just saw them playing at a club like every other regular person. They were paying me N1000 after singing and they were paying him the same thing. And he had one blue Passat that we had to push and that was smoking a lot. Then he was going to French Village in Badagry. And he would say “Omo, how much did they pay us?” and we would count it and divide it for what we want to use the money for. And when he comes back he’d ask me” did you cook?”, and I’d say “Yes, I cook small.” That’s how we were coping. And then when I went to his family house for the first time, I looked at him and I’m like, “what’s wrong with you? How can you come from a house like this and be following me to collect N1000?, what are you doing this for?”. He said to me, because I need to pay my rent, I’m a man, I want to be on my own, I don’t want anybody to say that its because of my fathers money that I’m made. That’s why I’m working so hard”. He works so hard and I don’t even see him. I often tell him, “don’t kill yourself, you know that you’re entitled to some things, calm down”. He’d say to me “No, that’s not what I want to be known for, so that tomorrow, nobody would say to me that it’s my fathers money that made me. I want to make myself.” That was one thing I really loved about him.

So for me and him, it wasn’t an issue of… You see, a lot of people used to come to me and tell me that hey, there are some big guys, some handsome guys dying for you o, he knew all these, and I would just tell them, “I beg, monkey no fine, but na so im mama like am.” That’s the way I like him, I chose him. And they would go and meet him and tell him that “who is this girl, because she’s a nobody”, and he’d tell them, “that’s the one I want!”. So for us, it was never an issue of who was bigger than who, or who married who because of what, we just liked each other, and we found that we had the same interests, we do everything together. And because people don’t live with you, they don’t really know what’s going on, they just hear things and they just build on it. If you know the amount of work that we were both doing, you would not even believe that he had anything to do with any estate, because we were both working round the clock. He was a workaholic. He was running 3 companies at the same time. He would say that by the time he turns 40, he doesn’t want me to work, that he wants the children to be happy. So he really didn’t bother what people said even then. He used to tell me, “Omo, na you get time to dey listen to things, like that person said this or that.”

So, when all those stories were reported about you, he wasn’t bothered or threatened to leave you?

The most interesting one was when it was written that I was seen with Richard Mofe Damijo in a car in front of the Lagos Bar Beach, on the 5th of December. I can never forget that date. It was so amusing because I was shooting a movie for Charles Novia, and I was there with Bena. Coincidentally, that same day, Jaiye was on his way to Abuja, he missed his flight, called me and asked me where I was. I told him that I was in front of the beach shooting a movie, so he said he’d come over to look at us before he goes home. So he came to the beach with his personal assistant, Michael. That day we really had fun because when he came, he said “ah, no more big boy today, lets eat agege bread”, and we all did, chatting and all. When I finished shooting that film with Richard, he, (Richard) had to run to Ghana, because Ovation was having a party there, so he left us. Jaiye now asked the director to bring me home on his way. That’s how Richard and my husband left, and the film director now dropped Bena and I at home. So when this magazine now came out with the story, I was driving when Richard called me and said “Stella, look o, they’re writing about me and one particular actress, please read it and tell me who it was, because I don’t know what’s going on”. I don’t normally do it, but as I was driving, I now called a vendor to buy this magazine, and they were telling me that it sold out. I finally got one at the end of Ozumba Mbadiwe road, bought it, opened it to read as I was driving, which was very bad, and I normally don’t do it. But something kept pushing me. I read how they just kept describing this lady and it turned out to be me. I’m like it’s just not possible. I couldn’t even call Richard back, I just called my husband. I said “Jaiye, where are you?” I old him that I was coming back home now, but pray for me that I don’t have an accident. He asked that “Stella, what is it?” I told him what I had just read. That day I was crying and shaking as I was driving like a mad woman. I got home, carried the magazine to him upstairs and asked him to read it. He read it and his first reaction as a human being was, he got up, went into the bathroom and locked the door behind him. I just knelt down on the floor and started crying. I said “ah!, these people have killed me o! My marriage is gone!” he came out after about 10 minutes and saw me, then he said, “what are you doing?” I cried out that these people have killed me! He said” look at the date properly, I looked at it, it was 11th December. He said “which date was published, wasn’t it the day I missed my flight and came to meet you at the beach? Was I not there with you? When did you do what they said you have done? Doesn’t that show that you shouldn’t be listening to this kind of thing? I was with you and they are still writing this kind of thing. It only goes to show that all the other things they are writing about you are false, so why are you worried? Is your conscience not clear? So why are you crying? The thing that they are looking for is for us to have a fight, but when we show them that we really don’t care what anybody says, we know ourselves, that’s when it would hurt them the most.”

So from that day, he just said to me that “let people talk about you, that’s how you’ll know how important you are.” But the only thing that’s paining me now is that he’s no longer here to hold my hand and tell me it is okay, because right now, for me, its not okay, its not. You know, because of all the things we’d talked about, and all that I’ve learnt from him, I just decided that for me, the most important thing right now is to work hard, and take care of my children, that’s the driving force for me. I just look at it and say to God, “see me through this week, after this week, it will be stories about somebody else”

Why was there a need for you to go back to work, a decision that sparked the talk that you didn’t observe your mourning period fully?

Anybody who said I didn’t complete my 40 days of mourning before I started working, that person lied. My mum and my aunties took it upon themselves to ask everybody, from elderly people and from his family that knew about the culture. They asked them how many days, what I was supposed to do, the dress code, even something that was against my tradition like frying puff-puff and sharing it to beggars, we really don’t do that where I come from, but it was expected of me and I did it, and waited until after the 40 days before I went to do a job that had been paid for the previous year, long before Jaiye died. And after the death of my husband, nothing was coming, it was only from people, good hearted people that felt that I deserved a life and I deserved to feed my children that help came from and I didn’t expect that to come everyday. Because even after some days, people would have to move on with their life, not have me as an added responsibility, because they all have theirs as well. They could only try but after a while, they expected that at least, there’s somewhere else that help is coming from. But between God, and myself there was nowhere else that help was coming from. My children had to go to school, I had to feed. My husband and I were owing my landlord rent before he died and that was a million naira. There were so many things that we had done, repair maintenance we had not paid for before he died, and nothing was coming, everybody just took off. Nobody called me to say, take, this is half bag of rice. People that you would expect that even if Stella is not in their agenda, at least, my children, Jaiye’s children……I didn’t care what anybody was going to say, but you see these girls, they would never lack for one day, and they would continue to go to school. I didn’t care if I’m living under the bridge, I was ready to leave it all. Infact I’d even said if anybody had come and said give me this or that owned by Jaiye, I was ready to give it up. The most important thing was that, that thing which the enemy was looking for they would not get, my kids would never be hungry because they’ve said that “ah the reason I married him was his big money, now that Jaiye is no longer around, lets see how she’ll survive”, but they will see, I will survive. I started working, I had to, because my mother looked at me and said to me “if you like, stop your life, sit in your room and lock yourself up and cry all day, whether he’ll come back, but what I will never let you do is to let those children go hungry, or to let somebody laugh at you and come and be feeding you at your young age. What if this happened to you at 40 something, and you didn’t have the strength to build your life, how can you make your husband proud?” She kept reminding me every time that if there was anything Jaiye used to say, it was that if there’s anything that he was living for, it was for his family, “to take care of my wife and my children. If I like I will wear rag, so long as my wife and children are looking fine”. That’s what he lived for. And the only thing I can do is to make sure that these children are fine. All those who were saying “Stella you know, I think you should sit down, you cannot be running around looking for work”, I say those people that are misconstruing all these things, have they ever offered me one naira. I should sit at home, fold my hands and let hunger catch me and my children. You that is talking, what have you offered me?

What pained me most was that everyone was concentrating on what people would say about me. I said people would always say one thing or the other about you. “My husband don die, them dey talk, your husband no die, them go still talk”, but at the end of the day, what is important to me are my girls. So I’m ready to go through what anybody wants to do to me, but those children, I will never joke with them. Many people even said” Oh! Its too early to start work”, no problem, who doesn’t like to stretch leg, but bring the money now! To make matters worse, I was banned for acting, so what was I supposed to do? It wasn’t easy o, I won’t lie. I don’t know why they were saying it but people kept saying during the burial, elderly people who came to my house said to me “ better stop crying, cry all you can and clear your eyes because things are going to start happening!” next thing I knew, people were making demands, asking for this and that, and I’m like “e never even reach how long, what’s going on?” and then I understood. At a point if people came to give me things, I was now afraid to accept them, as I didn’t know who was against me or who was for me. That’s how I read that I was dating somebody even during the burial period; I wondered what was going on. Even when Gbenga Obasanjo tried to help me, the next thing I read, was that I was dating him. It was like anyone who extended a hand of help to me was attacked and scared away. I wonder how with people always around me, I could be indulging in such a thing. I said to myself, “do these people think im mad? I just lost my husband, and they were already accusing me of dating somebody, what sort of person do they think I am?”

After Jaiye died, I found it hard to sleep and I couldn’t switch off the light, even up till now, though I now sleep, but the television has to be on. I still don’t switch off everything, because I’m still not myself. I’m coming out now and working and stabilising, but then, I’m still not Stella, how I used to be.

There were equally talks about you stepping out, that you were always seen in the company of Sammie Okposo, which became hot gist. So Stella, what is the truth about your relationship with Sammie?

First of all, Sammie was the first person I met when I came to Lagos. He was the first person to give me a job. I’ve known Sammie for 10 years and we’ve been very good friends. All through the time he’s had his relationship, I’ve always been there as his friend, and all through the time I was married, he’s always been there as a friend. When all those press stories were coming out, especially when Jaiye died, that’s when you’d know who your friends are. A lot of people took off, lots of people that made promises. I will never forget Kate Henshaw in my life, because she’s one of those people that, no matter what people say…even the first show that I did that a lot of people started writing that I didn’t observe my 40 days, I told her that “everything was going to get controversial” but I had to keep working. Kate held my hand, walked with me into the venue, waited for me, and when I finished doing my 4 songs, she took me to my house before she left for her own house. Everything I was always doing, she was always with me, while all my other friends ran away. At that time, Sammie wasn’t around, but when he came back, he heard a lot of things that was going on.

And I told him everything, I poured out my heart. And he said to me, “ you see, I’m the most controversial person.” He used to tell me that “when it comes to press, I don give 10 women belle at the same time, so when it comes to controversy, I know it but if you need anything, let me know, I will not run away from you.”

There are 4 people apart from my family that stood by me, Kate, Sammie, Bena and Rosco, they never left me. At that time, which guy did I have to beg to come along with me when I have to go for a job? There was no one. Even all the shows where they saw Sammie and I, we didn’t go together. I would always call him and tell him “oh I’m going to this show to perform and he too would also be attending, and I was always with Bena. So they probably saw us together and boom!! I’ve never had any relationship with him apart from our friendship. And people forget that I’m not a child.

If I decide today that I want to have a boyfriend, they will talk as usual, but nobody will kill me because it is my life. If I had a, so to speak, sexual relationship with a man, even if I don’t come out to spread it, its not something I would be running away from. By the way, Sammie is an adult, and he’s not a bad-looking guy. I see women who run and chase after him everyday. He even tells me of those chasing him, there’s nothing wrong with dating a person like that. So sometimes when I hear this thing about us, I just say its okay. In fact I hear they said we’re going to get married, they even gave us a date. There was a day he came to my house and my elder sister said to him “Sammie, I hear that you are going to get married and you didn’t tell me?” we were all laughing, that the reception must be at TBS (more laughter) I don’t have any funny relationship with Sammie. He’s just one guy I feel very comfortable with, and he knows all the things I’ve been through.

So how do you feel about being banned and not acting right now?

Well, I love acting, but I’ve also used that one-year ban period to find myself again. Now I know the other things that I can do very well. There are two magazines that have approached me now that I should be writing a column for them and I’m like “what do I write?” The ban also gave me time to spend with my kids as well. Now I’m so used to them. We have this bond, and I’m able to check their homework every day unlike when I did it just twice a week. I’ve been able to take them on a trip, which we could not do for a long time. It came at the right time, because when it all happened when my husband died, I said to myself, “maybe God is trying to tell me something, that I should just think relax, and ask myself who I want to be and where I want to go and how I am going to get there” and to concentrate on the children because they need me the most. So it’s been a blessing in disguise. Its not that I wont go back if the opportunity comes, but this time, its not going to be as regular as before. I’d probably be doing like 2 or 3 movies in a year and that’s it, so that I can have time for my family.

What was the reason for your being banned, were you one of those demanding high fees?

The funny thing is that when this ban happened, it was the day I travelled out and when I came back and had a meeting with the president of the Actor’s Guild at the time, I asked a specific question, that speaking for me now and not for everybody, “what did I do?” Because I know that they were complaining that some people were charging N1 million, that some will collect money from different people and will not finish the job. And what they told me was that I was just unfortunate, that they just decided to wipe out all the people that were called the G5. Who gave us the name G5, I don’t know. They simply decided to phase out all the G5 men and women because they were becoming too heady etc. And I am like if there was a particular person that I had offended, I’d really like to know, because I’ve never collected N1 million and the highest amount that I have ever received, before I could get it, it was trouble. And so when I heard the story saying that if you want to be unbanned, come to Awka, I said I wasn’t going, because they really need to tell me what I’ve done. It’s really not been something that has bothered me, because God has blessed me in various other ways and I’m able to do different things.

For someone who’s had her life entwined with her husband, how d’you relax now that he’s no longer with you?

The honest truth? The only time I’ve relaxed is like 3 weeks ago when I left Lagos with my children. I went on a short break. You will not believe how happy and lifted I was. When my friend, Bena saw me, she cried and I wondered why. She told me that the last time she saw me this happy was the week before Jaiye died, when we were planning a big party.

That for the whole one year that she was with me, I wasn’t myself. During this rip to Ghana, I would walk around the house in my nightdress, behaving like a child that has just been released from a cage. I took my kids out there, something I hardly do here because I don’t want undue attention on them. This is the first time I’m leaving the country since Jaiye dies, and I couldn’t believe that I could be that happy and actually laugh loud and gist with people.

Do you see yourself remarrying?

(Laugh) I don’t know. The risk about that is that I know myself. I don’t want to put any man under that thing of having to compare him with my late husband, because when you say a man, a complete man, that was Jaiye. I don’t know if I’m going to meet somebody later and say okay, I can live the rest of my life with him, it’s going to be difficult. That’s why I’m not even thinking about it. Sometimes I’m sitting down and thinking that one day, somebody will now come and say “I want to marry you” and I will now start all this from the beginning again. Can I start all over? I don’t know, because there’s no way that I would not compare. Even now when I go out and people come and toast, because they are toasting me! (laughs) I’m sorry to say. I look at them, they talk one or two lines and I begin to find faults that aren’t there. I really don’t think that remarrying will happen in some years to come. I know that I’m young; I just want to stabilise and take care of my kids for now, be my own person and stand on my feet. I really don’t want to get involved with somebody else for the wrong reasons.

How do you want to move forward from this point, its been a year since Jaiye died?

There are so many things that I’ve always wanted to do, like the African shop he’s always wanted me to set up. I’ve already started that. I’ve already started GIG FACTOR again, and there are two or more businesses that I’m looking at right now, we’re just putting finishing touches to them. And I’m also going to be having my own T.V talk show.

Would you tell us about it?

That would be letting the cat out of the bag! Right now, the band is doing well and that’s where the bulk of my income is coming from right now. And then the equipment has been going out on rentals. Also about 3 and 4 people called me to manage their event last year, so I’ve turned into an event manager (laughs). My sister and I just registered Angels and Bells, a wedding planning outfit. I’m just investing and making sure that I’m busy and small money is coming in.

Does Jaiye’s family get to see his kids?

Hmm, they don’t really get to see them much or as often as one would want, but I guess that is so because I’ve been trying to accept a lot of things in my head. The fact about this whole thing is that I feel that deep down inside, that if both parties sit down, without all the people, noise, media interference, and lay the cards on the table, we’d both probably realise that we’ve just been feeling like this towards each other for nothing. That there’s probably been a misconception about something somewhere that we are both missing and for so many years, we’ve just stayed away. Because I really respect them for whom they are, especially Wunmi. I really respect her a lot because to me, she’s very a very hardworking person and she’s very talented. I’m not saying this because I’m talking to you, I always say to people that are around me, I always watch her perform and see how she does a thousand and one businesses, as well as take care of her family and I’m like “that is a woman!” I believe that if there are sorrys that should be said, if we sit together to talk about it, we will say them. Because I know that this thing will affect our children. Once, when we went for an event and Jaiye’s brother’s kids were there, hen the kids saw them, come and see the hugging and the loving they showed towards each other, and I was ashamed! I’m like, “we are the ones that are adults and we are the ones that should be setting good examples. Look at our kids, they really didn’t care who was there”. The children don’t have any problem and probably don’t know what’s going on.

Did the fact that you have a strained relationship with Jaiye’s family bother him while he was alive?

Oh, it did. No man will be happy because he loved his family very much, he could do anything for them, he loved them and the same love he gave to me and the children. I’ve never seen that kind of love before because my husband loved! He had more than enough to go round. He kept telling me that “Omo, e be like say this thing na woman issue, because me I no have problem, my elder brother no have problem, what’s wrong with you women? You people should sort yourselves out because this thing is not funny anymore”. Because I know that when there are family gatherings, he’s always asking, “shey you will go o?”. So I would say, “if you are going, I will go now.” Deep down, I just wish something will come up and we will just settle things once and for all, if nothing else, but for the fact that both family share something now, the children. You need to see Jaiye with my family, you will not believe that my father didn’t give birth to him. He and my mum were hot about each other. There is this Owerri soup my mother cooks for him that he loved, so he always wanted to know when my mum would be coming to Lagos to cook the soup for him. The same with my sisters, they loved him.

What do you miss about not having him around?

His laughter. He loved people around him, he would cook and we would all sit down to eat. He’d buy champagne and we would all drink. Every weekend, we were always doing one thing or the other in the house. He used to know when I’m vexed and would say, “Shorty, somebody vexed you, come, come and hug, lets hug each other”. Without him, I just feel that I’m working on automatic. I’ve been strong by the grace of God, since I have to go on and survive because of my children.

courtesy City People

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marigold anne mettle March 15, 2011 - 12:55 pm

In this world its not every body that would love you sis.somebody will just smile with you but within that person(wicked mind).the lord who created u by his own image will never ever forsake you in ur life,he will surely see u through all ur difficulties and will always deliver u from the wicked.SIS CHEER UP COS HE IS THE GIVER AND AS WELL AS THE TAKER SO IN EVERYTHING WE GIVE THANX.I LIKE UR FAITH SIS,KEEP IT UP. MARIGOLD FROM GHANA*****

marigold anne mettle March 15, 2011 - 12:45 pm

big sis i really love u sooo much to the extent dat, when am watching a movie and ur not in that i wont watch it!!!!!!!

All i would say to u is,sis still have faith in the lord as his word says touch not my anointed ones and do them no harm.And you would n can do all things through christ who strengthens you sis.stay bless with ur loving kids.

Ola JC November 18, 2010 - 12:25 pm

well after reading all the articles/interview and comment….i would like to thank GOD for your life and the life of your late husband. you see GOD knows why things happen and HE sees the future. continue to be strong in the LORD. As for those your friends that stood by you (kate etc) the LORD will reward them in JESUS name. you see i dont want to say anything about your in-law, because even if u have done anything wrong to them, i think that during those difficult period they should forget all that and still stay by you. however forgive them. i knw it can be difficult but ask GOD to help u. i love you so very much. ola jc

Ola JC November 18, 2010 - 11:52 am

saying that she is part of their family will make them feel important. her children is part their family not her. WHO THEM BE……Fire born bad people. Bad belle. she will make it. in JESUS NAME.

Ola JC November 18, 2010 - 11:46 am

very beautiful advice…..GOD bless u sis Faith, in fact i just saw this inteview and couldnt help my tears from rolling down.

Carol October 8, 2010 - 11:48 am

The bible says that in Psalms 68:5 “A father of the fatherless, and a judge of the widows, is God in his holy habitation” God knows what a widow goes through and thats why He is the Husband and the judge to the widows. No woman knows what a widow goes through untill the day she becomes one. people and even relatives condemn widows instead of caring for them. But God is their judge.

Topsy August 10, 2010 - 2:16 am

Good interview, but the story should’ve been balanced by an equally lengthy interview with one of the in-laws. Because I know for a fact that the Aboderins are enlightened, well-educated and even more well off than their late brother, so why would they victimise the widow or simply dislike her for no apparent reason?? Ater all, one of them is married to an Igbo man, and there are no problems there. In short, I wouldn’t be quick to judge them without a fair hearing, if I were you people. Over to you, Susan.

daina zeky July 6, 2010 - 12:38 pm

is it true that if you get a man who loves you unconditionally then the price will be hatred from the in laws?stella you should live your life and stop caring about people who have nothing better to do with their time.jaiye loved you so much and you should pay back by taking good care of his girls.you will be blessed and keep being strong….

Khuma May 7, 2010 - 10:07 am

It is very sad what us women have to go through, Stella is a strong woman and she will get there one day at a time. Life is not a fairytale but the challenge just teaches us to strive to be our best. God is Great in all aspects!

Mrs cheris January 3, 2010 - 5:44 pm

Stella u are blessed and I know God is in control,keep looking unto God and not on any man.I pray God to continue to bless u,and continue to give u the strength u need to carry on.please take very good care of yourself and remain blessed.God is in ur case.happy new year .love,ur biggest fan(a mother of three)

betty shalman December 31, 2009 - 3:25 pm

i am a great fan of yours aunty stella all i have to tell u is be happy in this moments bcoz they r stepping stones to a brighter future and no that all these negativities happens bcoz God wants to make a positive sign in yr life remember two negative sign make up a positive sign.

edith June 17, 2009 - 1:46 pm

hi stella its really a blessing to read your interview i really feel sorry but i know everything happens for a reason and i know God is always on your side if you seek his face and put everything under his control.i like your personality,i really admire you.

tessy June 1, 2009 - 3:12 am

like yr courage gal, move on God’s on yr side. with God you are everything, so dont be despised.

shade March 3, 2009 - 8:05 pm

whao!what a story……

it is a very touchy interview. Stella, you got to keep the winning attitude and keep the positive emotions alive. you just have to be strong for your 2 kids. let them say….. whatever…….. Don’t even give it a second thought. Anybody can say whatever, you can’t stop them. you need to adjust and adapt. You are a winner and God is on your side.

abisola February 20, 2009 - 11:03 am

stella d lord is your strenghth,he will not forsake u.God is always by the side of the widow.i love you.

jackie January 18, 2009 - 5:49 pm

stella may the good lord continue to srengthen you.we love you enen though we’ve never met,we do watch yo movies a lot on sky tv chanel333.

Chaka/US of A December 5, 2008 - 6:30 pm

It’s Decemebr 2008 and though I knew about Jaide, I’m just reading this article for the first time. All I can say is – Stella, God loves you and sees everything you had gone through. He is right there with you. Remember that always and forever. Keep your head up girl. I love you.

lovy/ USA October 7, 2008 - 12:24 am

my dear sister, i just finished reading your long tale with tears in my eyes and i fell really devastated because i can’t believe that poeple can be this creul to their own sisters even when children are involved.

i feel really bad now so all i will tell you is that, always put God in prayers and he will surely see you through despites all odds.

take heart and move on.

Jackie September 23, 2008 - 8:07 am

sweetheart, God is with you and he will never leave you nor forsake you, you are truly a living testimony of how God protects…You and your daughters will make it, the people of this world may let you down but God never fails, Your family will always remain in my prayers, live strong and declare the goodness of the lord.

alice September 3, 2008 - 5:17 pm

Oh ma God. i was really touched after reading all these. People who are not close to her now really gets to know what shes been going through.

Oh Stella, at ur young age——-widowed, left all alone to take care of the children. Dont worry all these times were just trying times and by Gods grace and mercy u have survived it and u will still survive more to come. GOD NOR DEY LEAVE HIN CHILDREN NA. Abeg make u do ur work, take care of ur children coz they are the greatest assets one can have ohhhhh.

Mind ur buziness nd nor dey listen to wetin pipl dey talk—–they alwayz have sth to say, —good or bad

Anyways, me love ur movies and ur roles. u be one of ma best Five ohh-lol

May the grace of God be with yu

Much love from a lovely and big fan…

Mimi August 26, 2008 - 10:33 am

Hello Stella i was touched so much after i read this publication. I prophecy upon ur life today that those that laughed at u and turned their backs on you shall come back and ask for forgiveness. May the lord strengthen you.

Rhonda August 8, 2008 - 5:41 pm

Hi Stella,

I am so sorry for you loss. May God continue to provide you with the strength to keep on keeping on. Take good care of you girls and keep you head high. You are an annointed sista, so stay blessed!

Flora August 6, 2008 - 11:27 pm

I was really touched. It is so painful to read all this. All i’m asking God right now is to give her the strengh, to be the solid rock on which she’ll stand, and to see her through everything. May she finds in the Lord all the love and affection she is lacking of. Dear Stella the banner of the Lord Jesus Christ is LOVE don’t ever forget that. He is the husband to the widows and He will help you raise the beautiful girls He himself has sent on this earth through you. Stay blessed.

Stella July 11, 2008 - 12:45 am

Stella Darl, i salute ur courage and strength… i want u to know dat there is still a God somewhere dt is watching.. At his due time everything will fit into place. take this as a temporary thing. Believe in God and urself u’l surely pull thru this. Take good k of urself and the gals.

Omotayo Salaudeen July 4, 2008 - 8:22 am

Hmn dearest, I really feel for you because I know wot it is to lose someone you very close to you.Truly I appreciate your courage.I am a yoruba woman, married with a kid.Many times i feel anything can happen anytime, den comes d question au do i intend to face it and everytime i answer myself and say “I will accept it since I do not av power to change it, work hard an take care of my child”.Growing up my mother used to sing to me”omolayinke tori omo ni mo se n sise, ayinke”.meaning:dat she is working bcos of her child.

Life must go on, u need to continue to work vey hard for your girls,you should practically live for them.They must become what u want them to be, that way u will feel fufilled,ur husband will smile and say to u”shorty well done”

Forget about his family.Assume u got pregnant and Jaiye was not even able to take you to meet his family, won’t you take care of d child?try your best to unite with dem, if it works fine but better than not trying at all at least for the sake of your girls against the story they will be told in the nearest future.

The press: they need money for biz to move on, so they must ell a story.Remember dat wen u do it rit, it is d same press. So just let dem be,ignore them and leave your life normally like the true Stella.

Remember that NOBODY has the right to make you feel unhappy without your consent.Do anything that will make you happy.

Above all I want you to be closer to God,be His right hand baby bcos only Him can do it right for you.Trust in Him only.

God will be your strenght,it’s just a matter of time.

I love you.

Omotayo Salaudeen

Molly June 12, 2008 - 1:14 pm

Hi Stell, heard ’bout ur loss but was so grieved n couldn’t think of writing. I’m amazed and inspired at ur courage n intelligence, actually baffled at how quickly u rose to ur feet. Knew u as a beautiful n life-giving actress; but hardly knew the highly empowered and enterprising person of a woman u are. I’m proud of u as the things I feared most have now been cleared by the article: Praise the Lord Almighty.

I am a Cameroonian lady (based in Douala), just about your age, who has always loved n admired u, and still does. Hugs to those sugarly spiced little girls. I love ’em so much (though I haven’t seen ’em), something tells me they’re sweet.

FANTA SISSOKO June 2, 2008 - 12:31 pm

My name fanta i am from mali i like u so much dont worry god will gorge

Pray for ur husdand always god will give u good persone

Xtin March 22, 2008 - 4:18 pm

We love you Stella but God loves you the most and in the best way and that’s why you have seen him in your life every single moment. Keep been you, we’ll always pray for you and all the best for you and for your lovely angels.

Debbie March 10, 2008 - 2:39 pm

wow, i have truly missed a whole lot in this Couby (Naija) Stella, do you still remember Debbie?

Sylvia Nina February 21, 2008 - 10:27 am

Hiiiiiiiiiiiiii Stella im one of ua fans but thanx 4 being frank n’ honest. Actually i was reading some of the qns being asked n’ i felt they wdn’t have asked u. BUT ma Dear Stella LIFE STILL GOES ON even if JAY is gone. Always remember dat LIFE IS NEVER ONE SWEET SONG. We still love u we ua fans n’ will continue to love u. Ma dear if one person doesnt like u dont be stressed be ua self coz ua kids will grow n’ become some one. Always put God first in ua daily menu. Psalms 140 and cast all ua enemies by naming them. Im A Ugandan and a Big tym Fan of uas Stella.

Ayo Falekulo January 13, 2008 - 6:40 am

This is a very insightful interview. Stella thanks for your frank honesty. I pray that the rift in the family will heal with time and wish you the very best. Now the film “Widow” makes even deeper sense to me.

TOMI January 3, 2008 - 5:31 pm

hey stella, putting myself in your shoes i really feel pity for you but let somthing always ring in your mind that where ther is nobody God is always there.May God help you in upbringing your little kids and always try to remain rigid and be your self.MY BIGGESt FAN YOU ARE

annoymous December 26, 2007 - 1:48 pm

Stella, may God continue to be your strength. I pray your late husbands family comes to grip with the fact that you are a good person and get close to the girls if not for anything

victoria December 20, 2007 - 6:04 am

Stella dear I am so sorry to hear that you went through all that but have it in mind that The Good Lord is your strenght and He shall never forsake you. You are a good actress and very beautiful. Keep trusting in God for he is the only one that make all things right. Take care my dear . It is well.

charity December 3, 2007 - 7:45 am

you guys are just wonerful am praying for stella tell her to keep faith God is with her. you will conquer it all,take care and be strong as you always teach me in your movies

VICTORIA ANSONG November 12, 2007 - 1:17 pm

My dear u are indeed a blessed lady and mind u God will never let u down. U shall never be find wanting for u will be forever elevated in all u do

Iyke November 2, 2007 - 8:38 am

While reading this article I was just trying to visualize it as if am watching a movie what Stella Damsus has gone through.It must have really been tough.I felt sorry for her.Anyway on the problem with the husband family I thinK its like an african mentality or will Isaw tradition and the cause is illitracy am not directing this to anybody in particular,I hope one day all this shit will be over.You are a star my sister just keep doing your thing and with help of God and we you fans remembering you in prayer you will make it in Jesus Name. in case of any comments on corrections dont hesitate to get me on sheggs20032000@yahoo.com

Seyi Ayeni September 13, 2007 - 12:33 am

am happy to read an interview frm stella finally and knwin she has being thru so much breaks my heart,i reali do admre u stella,if i cld turn hands the hands of time for u and Jaiye i will but God knws best..4rm u i av learnt the biggest lesson in life and i intend on livin by it..i will continue to pray for u and ur little angels and i pray God will give u a man dat will luv u,not necessarily replace Jaiye cos i dnt want dat but to share dat special part in ur hrt and make u find complete happiness again..i hope u get this..i love u but God loves u more..stay blessed

dave September 7, 2007 - 5:37 am

keeep ur head up babes god is with u..

tayothompson August 2, 2007 - 2:12 pm

hi stella, ione of ur fans based in the uk i really apperciate ur work and think your fab, God is with u and will asee u through all ur storms dont 4get u go through them ,but they will not overcome u.all this helps you be a better person and closer to ur God,but remember u have won the battle.luy ya and will like to meet you one of thses days.

bimbo July 20, 2007 - 7:23 pm

stella, it is well with you and all yours [children and family]. you are a woman of great honour, i admire you and my heart goes out to you. may your adorable hubby continue to rest in peace till you meet to part no more. you are covered by the blood of Jesus! hold tight and stay alive, darl! love u, babe. welldone city people, brilliant job, susan!

Engr Oluseyi Adewoye July 16, 2007 - 12:02 pm

I know Stella is beautiful but to know that she's this intelligent is what I never imagined. She's a woman of my dream

mary July 14, 2007 - 11:46 am

The grammar and composition Could have done with proper massaging for an international audience.

damola July 11, 2007 - 9:45 pm

Stella,i was touched by this interview,u most have spoken from your heart of heart,i most confess that i'm triped by the way you have handled this issue.I really do hope and pray that someday,sonner than you expect,that you and your late husband's family would resolve your differences.Let the past stay behind you,find a place in your heart to love them.Remain strong.

toyin June 18, 2007 - 6:35 am

first of all,i want to say to stella,sorry 4 ur loss,jaiye's p.a was a close friend of my family so we got a 1st hand detail of how hard everything was 4 u,i think u should know dat such is life,Jehovah God be with u and bless all of ur endeavours.

Krissy June 8, 2007 - 4:08 am

whoa! this interview is really something,had no idea she went thru all these.Some in-laws can be wicked,Stella hold ur head high,God will see you thru all ur sorrows,much love!

ije May 31, 2007 - 4:15 pm

My heart goes out to Stella. The pain and struggle of not having a united family to support her in her time of grief must be immense. I thank God that she did have some people to lean on when she needed them. The Nigerian view of a wife as an outsider to the family continues to rile me. It breaks the hearts and hopes of the widows and fatherless children left behind. Perhaps if our legal system took a stronger stand on this issue, assigning full rights of authority and ownership over a deceased man's affairs and estate, then we would have fewer cases of disposession and unecessary intrusions from in-laws. To Stella, I say keep your strength and spirits up and keep smiling from you heart. God cares and I wish you and your daughters the very best.

The article is most welcome. Thanks to city people for bringing it to us. On quality, I believe Susan could have written the article better. Stella speaks much better grammar than the written words.

Sara May 31, 2007 - 1:26 pm

Great interview. Stella, I admire your honesty and the maturity you displayed in handling the issue of the anniversary with your in-laws. God knows few of us would have been as mature. My advice is this: Move On! You have so much going for you, yuou dont need to be held back by the smallness and pettiness of other people. IT IS WELL WITH YOU AND YOURS!

Yinka Aboderin May 22, 2007 - 4:58 pm

God will continue to bless you and the Kids, whatever the problems you're having with your in-laws, God will give you the grace to overcome it. stay bless.

IJEOMA March 16, 2007 - 8:08 am

Dear stella,

is a pity things had to be like this.take heart,that is what we see in this world.is a price everybody has to pay one day.life is full of challenges.u taste the bitter side of it and the sweet side of it.such is life. i feel for u.accept my sympathy.bye ij

yinka March 11, 2007 - 4:32 am

you are a rare gem worthy of emulation. u r cherished so much

Helen February 26, 2007 - 9:14 am

Hi Stella, i am writing from Cameroon. I really feel sorry for all you have had to put up with right from the start. it's a wonder how some families thing they are high and mighty. I just pray God gives you a long life and good health to be able to bring up your children. Don't bother about the silly gossips, people will always talk and when they talk just know it's God's way of telling you you are a Star. Take good care of the kids for us and your husband. I can only imagine what it means to be a widow at your age.God's richest Blessings in all your endeavours

marjorie February 25, 2007 - 8:55 am

Stella is a strong woman and i believe she will make it through against all odds.I'm a big fun of her and i really feel sorry 4 her but i know everything is God's plan

Bridget Ohare February 24, 2007 - 6:22 pm

Stella've wish 4 a moment l'ke dis and GOD's bless dis day…'&'ve been dyin to get in touch wiv u..since i long heard abt yr husband's death & felt l'ke She is too young to be a widow 've ask daddy GOD why and i knew his ans was Bridget daughter tin happened 4 a reason.!!!nt withstanding when u came to de Irish world i was yes i will finally get to c u!!bt all to no avail…i wish den i could c,and get to talk wiv u.well???? I felt being in the limelight the best ting was 4 u to relocate,4'u!'ve done extremely well as a mother for cant imagine going thru all that you went thru! May Daddy God continue to be wiv 4 u…!!.coz dac's wht i ask of him 4 u..,is grace , mercy,peace and a sound health 4 both u and de Kids so take very gud care of yrself and de Kids which're de most important ting to deal wiv 4 nw…my luv to u all best regard to yr mum & dad love once arnd u..

u're a great woman. i l'ke ur person, movies and always wish to c or hart wiv u',some days i leave and luv u all

Esther February 18, 2007 - 8:52 pm

I have always loved you stella. I hope you get this message. You are an icon, a strong role model that portray woman in high status. i have always been your fan, engagement night. Be strong, never allow what people say about you pull you down. Ignore them, show love, humility, be strong in God and you will see how he will repay you back. In short, I adore you, keep your sparkling spirit up with yourself, friends, family and children. Your life and that of your children will be in testimony in Jesus name, never give in to pressures, don't give up! You are cherished, luv from esther.

Pls, refer this message to Stella, it's from my heart to her. Thank you.

Mariam February 18, 2007 - 5:53 pm

Stella please know that you are bless, and you are wonderful.God bless you and your children.

Mariam from The Netherlands please send me an email it will do me good.

toya February 8, 2007 - 6:59 pm

Hi. i am stella's cousin from America. i would love to get into contact with her. does she have any contact info? it doesn't have to be direct. mine is kionex@hotmail.com

Kini Merabel February 7, 2007 - 4:26 am

Aunty Stella, Just lift your hands up and say that you will make it because your life and that of your kids are in the Blessed Hands of JESUS.

Your fan in Cameroon

kafayat motunrayo adeniyi February 5, 2007 - 1:50 pm

don´t worry my dear,move forward and the God is ur strength.he will never leave you nor forsake u.love u

DELPHINE February 3, 2007 - 11:05 am


Angel February 2, 2007 - 8:48 pm

Hi love, Christ Jesus is right inside you and your kids, Angels of God are all around you, the Holy Bible says, when you look around yourself, you will see the Lord Jesus. Just keep believing in God alone and he will continue to bless you and make a way for you in all you do. Just few things left for you to do for God. Trust, obey, have faith, pray and read your Bible everyday and everything will be fine with you in Jesus Name Amen I will keep prayers for you. Remain bless sister. just keep saying that the devil is always a liar.

DAMIANO January 21, 2007 - 8:45 am

she is in fact the best actress i have ever watch on screen. pls stella keep the ball rolling. i wish to commesurate with you over the untimely(to man) and Timely(to God) demise of your husband. take heart life continue.may his gentle soul rest in peace. i will be very greatfull should you mail me more and perhaps current information about an actress i so much admire.you are a model for most nigerian actresses that are out to show or display their nudity to the innocent on-lookers.decent contuming should be your watch word. cheers a million

Phebe January 16, 2007 - 6:10 am

I just felt like brousing today even thou i ve got an exam tomorrow, so i typed your full name into google and this page appeared and i decided to read since am one of your fans…its so good to read all this sincere details about you, how much dedicated you were and still are to your late husband even after he has passed away…i hope he went to meet the lord in glory and hope that at the end of life wen this world would come to an end the whole family would be re-united once again…i ll always pray fro you and the gurls…i love kids so soooo much, you cant imagine how much and reading this detail of your has built a string btw me and your gurls even thou i dont know them, i am going to ask you one favour, is it possible to meet and the kids sometime this year? at the moment am a medical student of the university of szeged, currently studying in hungary but i hope to retrn home sometime in the year and i want to meet your babies, tell them if you dont mind that the have a big anty friend…i am 22yrs old and a daughter of a well nown God fearing pastor…please email me at chyohany@yaho.com so we can talk more, and if you dont mind include your number and i will give ya a call…keep being strong and focused….

remember wat the bible says in proverbs…commit your ways into his (God) hands and he ll direct your path…and that of ur babies,,he ll neva let evil befall them, he ll keep them under his wings, u know how much God treasures them…stay blessed dear actress

looking forward to reading from you

anastasia serebour January 7, 2007 - 11:22 am

Stell, u're a great woman. i like ur movies and always want to see u in movies. u'll survive this moment of loneliness. alone in the world is to be alone with GOD. He is always around to make u happy.

ojay January 2, 2007 - 12:29 pm

Dear dear Stella, I couldnt help but scream when i heard about your husband's death & I was like: She is too young to be a widow and I felt that being in the limelight the best thing was to relocate with the kids because the press would definitely come after you. But because you have the grace of God, you have done extremely well for yourself & your kids. I am married with 2 kids & cant imagine going thru all that you went thru! May God continue to be with you and please find time to read John 5:28,29 and Revelation 21:4,5. Take care of you & the kids

Nneka Nwani December 28, 2006 - 6:43 am

Heyyy Girl… this is your schoolmate from Santa Maria… I'm here in the U.S Oh and I would like to congradulate you for doing soo well for yourself… Gurll when I 1st saw you in a movie I was like. OMG…. is that Stella? I am soo sorry about your loss. Remember one thing that God watches all and sees all and if ur late husbands family dont like you for no reason, judgement will pass I promise you and the wrong they've caused you will be made right… I would post my number in here but it's too much out into the public.. Sooo email me at zahra_fair@yahoo.com.. Oh by the way.. How is Susie???

St Kunle December 27, 2006 - 6:26 am

Stella, I really feel your pain and what you are going through now, with your daughters. I just got married and live pratically with my wife. Please, take care and God Be with You

Ifeanyi December 14, 2006 - 3:28 am

God bless u good & ur kids too.It is well with u guys in Jesus name.

Taiwo Oyaniyi December 4, 2006 - 1:13 pm

It's very certain dat man will be faced with all sorts of problems. What u experienced is not a new thing. There are lots of problems faced by the same women like u and if u keep trusting in God he is there to support u, stand by u and he'll see u overcoming all problems.Focus on ur children don't allow rumours get u down if not ur enemy will be happy seeing u down.Jesus is ur strenght.He will be there for u all the time.

gloria November 28, 2006 - 9:56 am

hmm! what a world. I don not know much about people mag. and their false info., allm I can say is may God continue to give Stella the strength, most especially, to be a good mother to her kids.

unknown USA November 21, 2006 - 10:48 pm

Could you help me forward this to Stella.

Stella thanks for being yourselve as always and for the honest answers. Clear conscience fears no accusation. I thank God for His Grace in your life. It is only the person that wear the shoe that knows where and how it hurts, but I am happy that you know the right place where your help comes from, THE ever present in time of need, THE Best Husband for the widow and Best father to the fatherlss, THE only one that will never fail you when every other person fail, THE only one that will meet your family's need without any string attached, THE only dependable one The ALMIGHTY GOD, our LORD JESUS CHRIST. Never stop looking up always, not only at the cross roads,also before taking the simplest dicision about your family. You know once He give you His go ahead signature, the resulting confidence can carry you to any level just because He put His name on the line by approving the move your taking. In those moves when huddles come (which will always come) you will have the boldness to remind Him "Papa" remenmber your name is on the line, You have to defend Your name. All those good toughts you have for your kids, as the best Father, He will taken them to levels beyound your imagination as long as you are holding Him on His robe always to defend His name in their lives and let Him know you are not letting Him go untill you get an answer for each situation. He is forever faithfull. I am happy you know Him. Even the situation with your in-laws remember He is PRINCE OF PEACE. I am encouraging you to show the difference. Call Him into it with a peaceful and forgiving heart He will melt the friction away. Remember He encourage us to live in peace with all men as much as possble. Strif is one of the biggest barier from reaching where God want us to be. Forgive. Many things were thought and said about JESUS how much more about you, but He forgave. He want us to be like Him. He is Unchangable God, you have the right key to unluck every unluckable doors' please I beg you, don't be careless with it. Remain blessed.

Unknown from USA 11/21/2006

egwuonwu ann chika November 16, 2006 - 9:18 am

Believe in God 4 he is the only that can wipe away your tears.he said in the bible that he is the husband of the widow,just trust in him and he will never let you down.I LOVE YOU

ope November 16, 2006 - 9:16 am

i know it is very had 4 u 2 get over this,but life will definitely go on.just keep ur head up and be focused.whatever decision u make consider ur children cos dey r d real family u have.takia of urself God bless u and ur familychildren

oluwatosin November 15, 2006 - 10:23 am

stella,u ar a unique being,take heart.God wil b der for u at all times.he loves u and ur children.i like ur person.it is well.

Racheal November 11, 2006 - 3:59 pm

Wow, this article has absolutely changed my view of stella, since her husband died. It is quite sad to know that rivaries of this nature still occur between wives and their in-laws in nigeria, if this were a movie i would say that his family killed him, rather than have him be happy with a woman they hate. All thesame, i know that God will see her and her children through, and the Bible says that young widows can re-marry so what is anybody's business if she dates, marrys or is seen with anyone in town? I am personally praying that everything she touches will prosper, and i know that we have not seen the last of her.

ayo November 10, 2006 - 8:25 am

hi stella am so sorry about your ur husband death god knows why all this happend i just want u to be srong am one of your biggest fan i love u take heart u can reach on this number 00931626924878 if u need anything ayo from holland

FAITH October 27, 2006 - 10:12 am

Hi Stella, my name is Faith and am Zambian. I luv watching Nig. movies especially where u r featuring,,,and i luv most yo part in 'REAL LOVE' ant in 'BRIDES MAID' u r just what u r i mean a person who does what she feels is right to save others and herself. About yo what u went thru. am so sorry i know how u feel. About me am 26yrs old with one child. i wud b happy if u cud write back. Stay well and very blessed.

your fan

Fola October 25, 2006 - 4:34 pm

Stella, the joy of the Lord will continue to be your strength. Unfortunately it is when things like this happen that you know who loves and cares for you. You have a good head. Continue to put GOD first in all that you do and HE will direct your paths.

dammie October 25, 2006 - 2:38 pm

it wuz a good and nice articles. stella with God on ur side, nobody came do anything and wat i want the aboderins 2 knw s dat, we r all goin 2 die,and wether dy like it or nt she s still part of their family

Afua Brefo October 12, 2006 - 1:30 am

i think stella has said it all and it makes so much sense.she is a strong woman and she will make it far.

mrs rebecca opare October 11, 2006 - 11:50 am

hi stella, iam happy for your courageous. be bold and take what belongs to you. although loosing your husband is painful, but i assure you that he is resting in the bossom of our lord so i want you to be courageous and the lord will be with you as he was with moses. take the word of God and be with your children. i would like to be of help if any thing. contact me on 0243219153 or agyemanrebecca@yahoo.com. God be with you.

faith October 11, 2006 - 7:09 am

Hi stella, one thing i want you to know is that our god is a miracle god, he has never failed, he will never fail and he is ever faithful to his words. He is the husband of the widows, the father of the fatherless. I know it is not an easy thing. But i will like you to always quote these confessions whenever fear begins to rise 'i can do all things through christ that strengthens me', 'greater is he that is in me than he that is in the world'. Beloved be strong in the lord and in the power of his mind. God has already prepared you before all that happened,so sister, look up to him alone because he is the author and finisher of your faith. Man wil fail you and they have done, even your husband failed you because he could not fulfill his promises to always be there for you. Even you failed your self when you began to exercise fear and confussions. All this is to tell you that we as human are inperfect. So the summary of my exhaltation to you is that turn totally to the one and only, the ever living, the ever present help in times of trouble. And that is jehovah the man of war. Live right, abstain from sin. Remarry if the urge comes, you are biblically entitle as long as it is prayerfully done. It is better than to fall into sin of adultery. Care not about what inperfect human says. And you know what, if your way is pleasing to god, he will cause all your enemies to be at peace with you. It is well with all that concerns you and your wonderful kids in jesus name. Amen. Faith from london. 07960570916. Pls get in touch i want to be your friend xxx

CHARITY October 7, 2006 - 7:04 pm

Stella, my heart goes for you my darling, just move on and look after your children. Have fun and remarry if the right and genuine bloke come knocking on your door. God bless you and remain blessed.

Claudette ( gtanna) September 29, 2006 - 4:29 pm

Stella my dear God is with you he will guide you all the way through to glory and the Angels will always be around your beautiful girls.Peace i leave with you and my peace i give you i will always love you

Kenny September 27, 2006 - 5:35 pm

I pray that God almight will be with you and he will alway make away. You and your childrens will not lack anygood things in life, he will bless your bread and your water.

Dr angela September 8, 2006 - 9:04 am

i lov u stella . and will like to know u . pls email me soon . am sorry about the death of ure husband

Brenda K September 4, 2006 - 4:29 am

This interview is really touching.i love Stella so much and it hurts to hear she's going through so much. Whatever it is, God will see you thru. You will look back and say WOW. Your business is now your God, LIfe, Children and yourself…no one else. By the way I would like to get in touch with her so whoever has her email address pliz send it to my mail box. Thanx

lanre August 30, 2006 - 7:07 am

sorry about ur lost, may his gently soul rest in peace

Blossom August 29, 2006 - 8:03 pm

Sweety, just remember that in God you live, move and have ur being…

Jaiye is Happy and wants you to be to, so just hang on…

Bless u

Richard August 18, 2006 - 4:13 pm

Stella Damasus is by far my favourite actress out of the whole lot and she is insanely talented,, we all know that… It is only natural for me to be drawn towards her ut more than anything she was very true, which is a very rare qualty from all these actors and actresses..Anyway I think its high time she sued these hopeless rumour mongers because her image is very important and this image is very important as it will be in history much later in life,, she needs to have a good record at least for her children..Anyway Stella should pick the bits and pieces of her life now and move on.

vic August 18, 2006 - 12:47 pm

I feel such sorrow for Stella.Never knew she went through so much and still stayed strong inspite of it all.

May she always find the strength and comfort she need sfrom God always.

The media should be careful about what they write and not just to shoot up sales,its not fair on anyone to have lies written about them-star or not

BCN ROMEO August 12, 2006 - 11:42 am

Hey Stella,

nothing much to say but just to say hi and to ask u a little favor.

Please i want u to help me ask any of these producers if i can take part in any of the film. i will be very greatfull if u do that and it came out positive i will owe u alot of gratitude.

Here is my phone number 002377162795.

i am in Cameroon but immediately u do that please dont hesitate to call me or just bip and i will call.

Please dont neglet this cuz it will mean a lot to me. and if only u will use theat Godly heart to do this for me as if u are doing it in one of ur relative then God will surfely reward u.

Bye for now my address is bcn_romeo4real@yahoo.com u can write me and let me know the fit back. bye for now and have a nice time with ur kid and ur life.

Be a good girl and dont let pride over take u.



Ms O. July 30, 2006 - 11:04 am

Stella, you have been through hell and back but your Lord who you serve will never leave you on your own.

My penny's worth advice is that whatever you can do to make things work out between yourself and your inlaws – such as attending an anniversary (for the sake of the kids and for Jaiye's sake), pls do. You can carry with your life the way your choose to but if once or twice a year, you have to go to your in-laws affairs, no matter how painful or inconvenient, pls do. I'm not asking you to compromise your happiness but where possible, embrace peace and hold no grudge!. You owe yourself this as a Christian and as a mum. God bless you.

For the lady/man who lost their brother in an auto accident in Florida, my condolences to them. I read about it in England and 'till this day, it bears heavily on my mind 'cause a whole family was almost wiped out (there were two families involved).

adaobi2 July 24, 2006 - 1:59 pm

hi girl fridend i hear all happan to u, take heart such is life the reson why God allowed it to happan is to u to learn something and now u have achieve that. Glory be to god in heaven, nothing will happen to u and kids God is our strenght and strong tower.

oluchi July 13, 2006 - 10:50 am

i honestly felt stella'S pains when she lost Jaiye of blessed memory, i couldn't understand how she was going to move on. thank GOD she is fine now. i love u stella n GOD will bring a good husband and father to you and angelica isabel respectively. shake off the gloom girl.

omolayo July 6, 2006 - 2:06 pm

Only if you have lost a loved one will you be able to truley understand how Stella felt with the death of her husband.Life can be so very unfair atimes when it gives death the victory of taking a loved one.I feel for you darling Stella cause you are too beutiful to have gone through all this,but alas…thats life.Thats just the pains that comes with being too beutiful,you put people on the edge and the become resentive and suspicious of your moves there after.Just keep your head up baby girl and pray your daughters marry husbands who will be a father the never grew up to know well.I love you girl,Keep it up, grow stronger and show them that without the Aboderins money your girls can make it.All the best in all your endervous and be prayerful too.Always pray for Jaiye that he finds peace with is Creator.

nwakaego July 1, 2006 - 11:33 am

the interview is very touching ur one of a kind stella not many african women can survive this especially when she has built her world around her husband.be strong and i tell u, u will triumph.cheers

nwakaego July 1, 2006 - 11:22 am

hello sda am one of ur bigest fan and i love the way u have been reacting to things even when it seems almost impossible.i just pray that God almighty will keep u and give u long lenght of days and strenght to cater 4 ur children. let u faith always be strong and know that he has seen u thru. u are truly a strong african woman.cheers

Funto Temiye June 28, 2006 - 9:09 am

Dear Stella,i am sorry for the death of your husband.May God be with you and your children AMEN.I would like to be an actress like you.Though i am still young but i will like to act because i always want to heart because my heart tells me to do so.Please iwant you to accept me in any of your movies.My email address is fnttmy@yahoo.com and my phone number is 017941207.God bless you and your children AMEN

Stella Alpha June 27, 2006 - 3:31 pm

it me again stella i just want to tell that i like the way u act and the song u have sang i hope i will become someone like u because i like singing too and reading,and i hope i see u one day.stella alpha 15years old in grade ten,and have a poor family.of u want to talk to me call (001)-(614)-987-5594

Stella Alpha June 27, 2006 - 3:22 pm

Hi Stella, how are u doing now i hope u are fine.i know that it's not easy to loss your husband and i fill sorry for you. may the Lord help u and your two daughter.And may the Lord help u on your acting career and your music.MAY THE LORD HELP U ANYWHERE U ARE AND YOUR CHILDREN.

fadekemi June 12, 2006 - 1:22 pm

GOD in heaven knows dt i love stella damasus aboderin wiv all my heart.i have never believed all d rumours dey carried about her.am so happy dt her trust is in GOD.atleast i know GOD can never fail her.all i can say 2 those treating her bad is VENGANCE IS D LORDS.I LUV U SDA.GOD bless u.

ami tejan-cole June 9, 2006 - 6:14 pm

i think this article is the best because it clears the air about all the rumours that has been going on about my girl Stella. I thank you for this article.

BINTA O. BAJEH May 31, 2006 - 10:35 am

Stella has been someone i admired, someone i've always look forward to met in person. Shes got guts. If after all this troubles she has been able to keep afloat, then i've got a role model. My wish and prayer is for god to keep on guiding and protecting her from the wholfs called humans. You are loved – keep on the with the spirit. The lord knows the best for u.

Anonymous May 27, 2006 - 1:09 pm

I love Stella, and I think she really is a trooper, for doing this long interview.

shola May 15, 2006 - 11:40 am



MONICA DAVIES April 27, 2006 - 11:59 am

Dearest Stella,

Thak you City News you have doen a great job. God bles you all. You should have come up with this long shince because of the negative things people might have been thinking of sister Stella. I hope this message gets to you. Please i would like to tell you that you should never give up as you have said that your husband knows that you can succeed in anything you want to do. know that your children needs you more than ever. I never thought for once that people can be so heartless to treat you in such a way even in the time of mourning at that painful time. Take heart and always keep praying God shall surely see you through. when i read your interview i can't held my tears back, it is so pathetic. I wish you the best in your present business. And your friends people like Katty are really friends in deed. Extend my love and apppreciation to Katty she also is one of my super star. God Guide and protect you.

love you always

Monica Davies

The Gambia

Judy April 26, 2006 - 4:08 am

U know what i feel sorry for those of us who find great joy from other people's sorrows. The unthinkable can also happen to us any moment from now. So please let's be careful the way we treat others. We are not aware what kind of trouble you are inviting from God coz we NEVER EVER treat someone God created from HIS IMAGE like trash, nomatter what.

Stella am one of your fans in Zim. U know what I really know how u feel coz i have bn there. It's normal to feel that way coz that's the healing process. Never ever wish anything bad to happen to those who say and think evil about you,instead pray that God have mercy upon their souls then relax and see what will happen. Long before you know it some of the people will come begging for your forgiveness coz God's ways are different from ours and no one will ever understand how HE operates.

The Will of God will Never Take you where the Grace of God will never Keep You. I salute you coz u are a Believer. One of these these days you will be able to remember your loved one with tears of Joy not Sorrow.

Any negativity just redirect it: WRONG ADDRESS,TRY JESUS. By just doing that you are declaring war between the Army of the Almighty and the enemy.

I wish you the best in all you do.

Patience April 24, 2006 - 1:22 pm

Hi SDA, U are a brave woman and am proud of u. Try and not mind those people who have nothing better to with themselves other than to gossip and spread false rumours about. Just try and ignore them, i know its difficult but try for ur sake and the sake of ur daugthers. All the evil doers are after is ur end but they have failed woefully, it is the end of themselves and their cohorts that they would see.

Girlfriend lift ur head up and smile again. The best is yet to come. I Love you, u are in my prayers and thoughts. I would Love to meet you girlfriend, am one of ur fans. I wish we could exchange details and get rob minds together. Take very good care of urself and the girls. I appreciate ur true friends too kate, bena and Sammie. It is during times like this that you know who truly are your friends. Treasure them because friends like them are hard to come by. Pls get in touch with me pretty pls.

Unwana April 23, 2006 - 6:47 pm

I had to take time out to read this article because back then when i was in Nigeria, i heard all the lies they told about Stella Damasus.. deep in me , i knew they were lies.. she's a very pretty woman and its obvious that there is bound to be jealousy.. People should leave her alone. Stella: Make the Lord your strong tower and he will direct your path.


olawale April 22, 2006 - 2:55 pm

Hi Stella.I just hope this message gets to you.I want to tell you that God is always in control.Though it seems dark now,Stella there is always light at the end of the tunnel.I want you now to make a re-think and visit your life in order to make the best out of it.As for your children,the Lord will comfort them and care for them as a father will care for his children.I hope to see them one day.Its well.You are and will remain an shining star.Im forever your fan and i will always stand the gap for you.Olawale

Rita April 21, 2006 - 1:28 pm

Stella Dear,

To say im happy for u is an understatment.i felt soooooooo bad when all efforts to speak to u on phone during ur most trying times failed.i asked Genevive whom i heard was ur friend,to greet u for me.i'm sure she did.I prayed earnestly for u and won't stop ever.My folks especially my mum felt soo bad and alwys prayed for u.

Know what Stella, all those who chose to torment u,have always been,will remain and always be a bunch of loosers.trust God on this.if they don't come to the foot of the cross and ask God for 4givness,this is my prayer for them "U WENT THRU URS AND CAME OUT STRONGER.THEY WILL ENCOUNTER WORSE SITUATIONS,FEEL THE PAINS U FELT,HAVE A TASTE OF THEIR OWN MEDCINE AND ONLY GOD WILL DECIDE IF THEY COME OUT OF IT OR NOT"

they fail to realise one can't build one's life with some one and then want to end it just like that.God!!!!!!!!!.

Stella,we re strongly behind u in every way and what's more?God and His heavenly host are SOLIDLY on ur side.TRUST ME ON THIS.

my number is 08055074415 should u decide to grant my request of being ur very close fan.plx,give me ur number.

My sweet regards to ur lovely angels Angelica and her sister(sorry in can't remember her name).Thry re destined for God's greatest.MARK MY WORDS


Anonymous April 20, 2006 - 11:16 am

The editor needs to check the spelling & grammer in certain places. But it seems like an honest, heart felt story. May God guide her.

Anonymous April 17, 2006 - 8:16 pm

stella, pls be strong. the LORD GOD ALMIGHTY is on ur side. make up with ur husbands people so u will have peace & rememba to pray without ceasing. take gud care of ur kids. this actually moved me to tears.

Damilola April 17, 2006 - 5:56 pm

Stella,I really feel ur pain.I pray dat God will take care of u and ur kids.He will be by ur side always and continue 2 bless u.U need all d strenght u can get so please think about ur kids and do what,s best 4 u and them.

Anonymous April 15, 2006 - 10:03 am

My Words of Encouragement to Stella.

I was going to say Poor Stella, but I thought otherwise because I admire her strength and courage. She has faced death and came out whole…..A Victor's Tale!!!

Sweetheart, GOD is bigger than everything and everyone. Lean on HIM, The Solid Rock and HE would never fail you!!!

About your inlaws, forgive them in your heart, and concentrate your energy on yourself and your children, they didnt make you and they cannot break you except you allow them to. Follow your heart and your dreams, don't let go!! You may want to give up at times, but remember you may fall but you are a champion if you conquer each fall by rising again.

Let loose the emotions, confusions and the why me questions and move on beyond the Aboderins.


Anonymous April 14, 2006 - 6:31 pm

Just Keep having faith.

-In God be the Glory-

P.Patra Sherman April 12, 2006 - 8:34 am

Stella,jus take heart God is in control of ur situation.Ur kids and urself will have all the fullest of joy in this world by the grace of the almighty.Amen.

Aretha kange April 12, 2006 - 8:27 am

Remember SDA that God is still on the throne. There's a voice in the Bible that says:Blessed are those that mourn for they shall be comforted.(Matt5:8). Take heart yah!

Anonymous April 11, 2006 - 6:48 pm

stella dont worry God will surely see u true and continue to pray

chinwe April 11, 2006 - 11:16 am

My sister, it is well. The good Lord will never forsake you and the kids

Anonymous April 9, 2006 - 2:48 pm

God know the truth and the best stella as for your children please take care of them as your husband would have done i am your fan and i am also behind you

concerned citizen April 7, 2006 - 4:53 am

SDA, the Lord is your strength. You know where it hurts, people can say all they want and nobody is in the position to judge anybody, especially a widow.

Please give this young lady a break, she has a enough to worry about.

Stella, once again it is well and the good Lord will see you through, I know what it means to loose a loved one.

Anonymous April 5, 2006 - 8:15 pm

just kip it going.God is ur strenght.

remi April 4, 2006 - 4:16 pm

I lost my brother in a motor accident in orlando,florida on the 18th of december,2004 just 2 weeks after jaiye's death,he was on vacation from london with his family,his kids survived,his wife and the baby were in the hotel when it happened,believe me,i can say i understand where she is coming from,talking to somebody now and another moment his gone,it's as if the world will come to an end,but believe me it's a wound that is only jesus can heal,it's a trying period for wife,aged-parents and family,but believe it you will surely overcome,stay blessed.

Anonymous April 4, 2006 - 2:04 pm

Keep d determination going girl i admire ur courage

Linda Beri April 4, 2006 - 10:05 am

Oh God, i don't just know what to say. Stella please stay blessed God takes care of all his children. Don't forget that we are in Africa, they most always talk. I am one of your fans, i am a Cameroonian and stay in Cameroon. I really cried when i read your this article, please don't listened to them, do what comes out of your mind, they will be the first people to laugh at you if you give up. Take care of your children and your late husband will be proud of you. He is not dead, he sees you and knows your mind and still loves you. God bless you once more and your kid.

Anonymous April 4, 2006 - 3:59 am

God Bless you Stella and those lovely children. Things will certainly work out for you. Sis, Please keep your head up.

salome April 3, 2006 - 8:36 am

Keep it up Stella. God is in your side. I like your faith and confidence.

Anonymous April 1, 2006 - 5:28 pm

i pray God gives her strength

mariam April 1, 2006 - 4:16 pm

hi stella i read your interview and it was very very interesting all i can tell you is to live everything to good because he don't do anything for nothing your husband know you love's him even before he died and he knew you still love's him even after he died so please take good care of your two daugters and enjoy your life don't mine what the media says or some of his family members are saying and remember that you are a good actress and a beautiful lady so don't throw that away for nobody and always celebret your husband's life god bless you and your kids on anything your do in your life loooooooooooooove your and good luck one of your bigger's fan in the word from the u s a till next time bye bye

ola April 1, 2006 - 10:14 am

i cant believe that things like this still happen in nigeria in this day and age where people always blame a woman for her husbands dead.and most of the people that spread the rumours are women like us i cant understand the madness, i am a 24 yr old and i can realy relate to the story i was virtually in tears coz i dont know wot i wouldve done if i were in her shoes.stella i want u to know that ure a very strong woman and God bless u and ur children i dont know wot ill do today if my husband dies and so i just want u to know dat God cant give us more than u can handle, God bless u again and people-esp women this life is actually a wonderful place to live its people like u and i that makes it difficult for each other.take stell and know that there are people around that have your back.

Anonymous March 31, 2006 - 4:15 pm

Excellent interview

Anonymous March 31, 2006 - 2:27 pm

Stella, keep your head up, because GOD will always be there to guide you and your children. Remain blessed. Annie

selasi March 31, 2006 - 12:35 pm

Dear Stella in christ, my heart really goes for you but one thing i can ensure you with is that hold on to your faith and look up unto God and remember that is with you in all things and his words says that in all things give thanks to him. I believe when it happened you asked your self a lot of qusestions but before you knew one year has already approached. i know it is not easy but God will put your feet on another higher lever.

God be with your and his blood will protect you and your children. I wish i can have your number to call and give you words of exaltation.

have a blessed weekend

temi March 31, 2006 - 10:46 am

i have always loved SDA and i still love her and i am praying for her and her kids and by the way SDA i will be hiring you to plan my wedding God speare our lives and i am not joking so as soon as you finalize things with your ANGELS AND BELLS shop and MON AFRIQUE pleaseeeee send me a brochure i am dead serious. TAKE care and i do hope this gets to you

Anonymous March 31, 2006 - 10:42 am

i actully cried while reading this interview. all that happened to her if you think about it is what i would have expected to happen to someone people are so envious of but somthing i would have thought would happen was that her husband's family would say okay oh the past is the past lets do what we can for her and her children ( what is left of our son and brother) but its sad to see that some people just don't care. anyway sha i am praying for her oh and God be with her

Anonymous March 31, 2006 - 9:10 am

This is just wonderful, and it goes to make people understand that stella damascus is just another human being as all of us, and that she should be left alone to recover from the dead of her husband quietly.it really brave when you hear what she has to say about all that has being going on, she is a very brave woman and the lord will protect her as long as she lives so that she can take care of her children.

l am a fan of stella,l was also born in lagos to cameroonian parents, l lived all my life in cameroon, and l am berlin now. l just want you to know l am praying for you and that those who think negative publicty will bring food to their tables while the write stupid things about you should take a step behind and rethink,because it will make you more stronger.

you are the most beautiful woman in nollywood industry and no matter what he or she says, you will remain one of the best actress the industry has ever layed hands on,and l want you to be strong for those kids,beacuse there are too young and they need you to work hard for them so that their late father will be proud of you and the children.

As for me one of your best fans, l just want you to know l love you so much and will always pray for you and no matter what happens l want you to always keep in mind that all what you said about you husband and they tough times you went through l will never forget,this article l just read.

stay blessed and may the lord protect you from all evil and may you live long with your two daughters. in case you want to reply me this is my email chalex_x@yahoo.com

your fan albert chia.

Anonymous March 31, 2006 - 8:33 am

I can't say that I know what Stella is going through, because I don't. But I pray that God gives her the strenght to go through this. God knows the pain she's going through and He'll carry her through. Good questions and responses

Anonymous March 30, 2006 - 6:26 pm

not bad atall

Anonymous March 30, 2006 - 2:31 pm

I am really impressed that city people is finally telling the truth for once, you guys seem to have lost your credibility over time and have been tagged the lamest gossip mag…but this article is beautiful, and more of this could restore your lost glory.

Anonymous March 30, 2006 - 1:08 pm

One of the most sincere interviews ever!!


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