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Nobody Asked Me, But…
“Ah, that man is very detribalised.”
In Nigeria, this is almost always a compliment.
It is what we say about the politician who...
By Temitope Lakisokun
The argument over the young trainee who addressed UBA chairman Tony Elumelu by his first name has become a surprisingly revealing debate...
It is true that here in our land timeliness is a worthless quality and lateness to ceremonies is a dignified virtue worthy of admiration. It is true that no self-respecting citizen makes the mistake of arriving on time for scheduled events. But five hours late?
If the hunted animal runs in an unexpected manner, an Igbo proverb goes, the hunter should shoot it in an equally unexpected manner. The problem here, however, was that the manner in which this animal had bolted was not only unexpected but unimaginable...
Whether you are male or female, breakups are never a thing of joy; and being the dumper or ‘dumpee’ does not make much of a difference either...unless you have a heart of stone...
The young men used to call her Itiri, a local word for darkness. They called her Itiri because her skin was unusually dark, surpassing the blackness of a moonless night. Being darker than midnight, her figure remained outlined in a visible silhouette long after everyone else's had blended with the West African nightfall…
She tells me she likes me. That she loves me. That I make her laugh. She likes it when I sponge and towel her. She tells me I reside in her soul, that she dream of me at night and daydream about me in her waking moments. I send her roses...
There was this crazy white man stationed in my village. Please don’t ask me what he was doing there; I don’t know and I don’t want to lie to you. All that I remember now is that he was with some oil company. He was a terror. He went round the village at odd hours with his tobacco and cigar in his mouth, spitting all over the place, insulting the elders, and swearing at us the youths...
Can we conveniently conclude that God is capable of all we have attributed to Him? Are we not endowing him with more than He merits? Indeed, are the proof of his potentials incontrovertible? I think those of us in the habit of calling God to witness where and when He is not needed are a bunch of blackmailers...
The dimwit, the mentally deranged or retarded, the idiot or stupid ones may not be in position to appreciate "imagination" as a divine endowment of Man, even though they possess one of its basic components...the heart...
In Today’s Nigeria, the biggest fools are the street urchins and the armed robbers. Why they waste valuable time, talent and energy robbing people of one hundred dollars or less is what I don’t bloody understand...
At this ‘critical’ period of our life as a nation, those whom chance thrust on us as leaders should have no need of the former templates of religion or our ethnicity as determinants of the direction we should go...
The PDP is a loose confederate of desperate fortune hunters, bloody fiends and deadly cabal of disparate tendencies aiming at each other’s throat for undue advantage...
The reality of the complexity that all the "gay inclusiveness" actions being taken across the world will bring to processes that are otherwise simple became quite apparent to me on my last trip to Europe...
Governance in Nigeria may not represent an enthralling story, but not journalism. Acts of the Executive, Legislature, and Judiciary at all levels may be nauseating, not so with the fourth estate of the realm. There are major bus-stops in Nigeria journalism that attract huge nods...
Obaigbena and his editors, in their infinite wisdom, have concluded that two representatives of American market fundamentalism are in the most auspicious position to perorate on “the challenges of Nigeria’s policy and market environment”. If we are lucky, the two Americans may even “proffer solutions” to our market challenges...
If Black people have never been and are still not good enough in this 21st century to construct their own roads, airports, presidential villas, etc., or even to imagine exploring their own mineral resources, when will they ever be?
“Where did all my money suddenly go to?” That was a question my friend asked, directed to no one in particular as he looked at the share prices of companies in the stock exchange market published in the day’s newspaper...
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