Live Your Best Life Now!

by Bolanle Aduwo

Has there ever been a time when you decided to take stock of things that have happened to you in life and you had regrets like….you shouldn’t have gone into that relationship, taken that  job or if you had got that visa etc, your life would have turned out much better than it is today?  Then my people, you are not alone!  I used to feel like that until one day, after some serious soul searching, I came to the following conclusions;



Regrets are a total waste of time.  What has happened has happened.  You can’t change the past, neither can you erase it but you most certainly can learn some lessons from it.  Though things didn’t work out, feel good to know that at least you took the plunge which is more than you can say for some people.



Some people have the habit of being martyrs for nothing’s sake.  Don’t get me wrong, you can be a martyr for religious or political reasons and it would be worth it but here, I’m talking about someone that has worked hard and has the money to spend on a nice car, house or outfit and they say, “No! Let me mise the money!” For what, pray tell?  Or you’re in a really bad, destructive relationship which you can see is heading nowhere except to the Loony Bin but you still hang in there.  For God’s sake, why?  What you are really saying is that you don’t deserve to be happy which is absolute nonsense! 



There are only two kinds of people in life; those that add spiritually, emotionally, physically or financially to you and those that take same from you.  Eliminate such people from your life.  I call them “users” and they are in the office, home even church.  There was a girl I once knew, who every time she opened her mouth to speak to me, had something negative to say.  Every time I left her company, I felt low or felt bad about myself.  One day, in the middle of her usual negative talk, I summoned the courage to I tell her where to get off. Boy, didn’t I feel good about it!



Someone once said “great minds discuss issues but small minds discuss people” – too true.  Sometimes, we care too much about what people say about us.  Someone once told me some nasty stuff a former co-worker had said about me and as I wanted to feel bad, a thought flashed through my mind, “Does this person validate you? It’s not her opinion that matters but God’s opinion of you and what you think of yourself!”  So I was able to brush it off though it hurt, and get on with my life.  It’s not so much the action against you but your reaction to it.   



What can you see yourself doing everyday for the rest of your life with little or no pay?  Chances are that is your calling.  I spent ten years working in jobs I hated because I wanted to pay bills and please family, when my calling – writing and storytelling beckoned to me.  I finally did the unthinkable – resigned and pursued my dream of being a writer and an independent producer (ain’t seen the money yet, though!) but I know there is a pot of gold and a God at the end of the rainbow!



This article would be incomplete if I didn’t add this but let’s face it we all know there is a God.  We may break His rules occasionally or even constantly but we know He exists and if it weren’t for Him, we might not have been in a far worse condition than we are in right now.  Living in this city and coping with its daily pressures behooves you to cling to The Higher Power.  We need to refuel spiritually or else we will burn out.



Go ahead! Buy that new car (even if it’s a jeep, you’re a girl and you aren’t yet married!) Buy that outrageously, expensive outfit (and make sure you wear it!). You’re not going to take any of it with you when you leave this world which we all will eventually, so live each day like it’s your last. 

You may also like


Anony Mous April 16, 2009 - 8:08 pm

Funny enough I happen to know Ronke and the husband she said abandoned her. I believe you did not come out smelling like roses in this issue. You practically deserted the guy to go to London and was not sincere to him in the first place. The issues around your pregnancy was quite shady if I may say so and apart from this you claimed you had twins and you sent two separate pictures of the same boy only for you to claim later that the other twin died. If you are so sure then do the blood test and stop claiming victim in this matter. From your article, you did not tell us readers that you broke some of the windows in his house and you threatened him with broken bottle. You also did not say anything about the car he bought you that you left for your family. Please my dear be sincere to your self and face the fact of the matter. Wole was a fool when it came to you and you knew this and you took advatage of him to the fullest.

unknown July 10, 2008 - 12:35 pm

he who lives by the sword would die by the sword. what you sow you would reap. when all your in put in life is to destroy, you end up being destroyed.

ronke oluwole aduwo July 10, 2008 - 12:17 pm

regrets to me based on personal experiences are good , as it makes one to be sobber, more matured and focused.

in the sense that i dont allow regrets to set in , inorder to hate or condemn myself but to learn from past mistakes and to move on with life, although some occurences happen in life and leave on you a mark that cannot be taken away even with time.

your write up is an inspirational one and its good for all our day to day batterings.we all are not excluded from bad occurences.

when it comes to words like regarding people as ‘users’, i have long time ago come to the conclusion that its best to hold one self responsible for any position you might find yourself in rather than blame any one.

It takes two to be used you must have placed your self in the position and once bitten you take precautions. although we all say this, is there any perfect being on earth.

We all at a point in time in life are guilty of having to use other people to achieve our goals and this is to say we all our guilty.

i dont condemn peolpe, i rather give them the opportunity to give their side of story without being prejudiced even if the person is close or related to me.

i always like to place my self in peoples positons before judging.

i have been used countless of times, be good to peolpel when they had nothing . i have had to go without basic comfort in a relationship and a recent marriage just to be left pregant without a roof over my head.surprisingly i have been condemed without even be heard or pitied.

i have single handed brough up a child on my own with no input from a father who claims to be born again God fearing. and who has now turned around to say he wants a blood test when he blood knows the child is his.

It is alraming that the people involved are even christains, tongue speaking and sprirt filled.

Before being classifed as ‘users’ Its best to look at the circumstatial evidence. what led to this and why did the person react in such a manner.

There a re times in life, in a relationship you labour with a person and when it comes to the time to reap your labour you are branded as evil. after so much suffereing.

Hallmark February 3, 2007 - 9:44 am

Good article


Leave a Comment