Marriage Breakers

What a rosy experience it could be walking down the aisle with the love of your life. But God help you if you wake up the next morning only to find him turning out to be a Gorilla. You may say how on earth is that possible? You may even resolve that it is a mere Metaphor. But I tell you if care is not taken, immediately after saying “Yes! I do”, you begin to witness the Gorilla in your partner gradually manifesting in his character. He may not necessarily be a bully. He may just be the insensitive type that is capable of doing things that can drive you nuts. Here comes the big question; how do you identify these lions in sheep’s clothing?

Before doing justice to the question above, I would like to state some issues we might not consider as serious, but have resulted into several divorce. I call them “Marriage Breakers” ;issues like snoring heavily, pressing a toothpaste from the middle, bad use of toilet, nose picking, strong body odour, and the list is endless. You may not experience all these before marriage, especially if a conservative approach to courtship was adopted, if at all there was a period long enough to call courtship period. The worst of it all is to engage a partner who has been all out to deceive. He could wait till after tying the knot before revealing his real person. Don’t ever believe you could know all about a person in a stipulated time, it is a life time revelation. Do not fool yourself, it is a gradual discovery. How then can we separate this lions from the sheep?

To answer this question, let’s start from the genesis of the whole issue; the issue of choice in marriage; making the right choice. In discerning the right choice of partner we have to be sincere with ourselves. Most times we hook up with a partner based on the leading of our emotions at the expense of the judgment of our senses. Stop thinking with your ‘heart’. Begin to use your ‘head’. There are times people give themselves away to us by revealing some of their disgusting character. But what do we do? We wave them aside and say it’s “all for love”. I have seen ladies staying put with a womanizer, “all for love”, hoping that he would change his ways before marriage. I have seen guys staying put with a “beautiful” ,lazy woman,” all for love”. These are some of the indications my dear. Wake up! The plant you refuse to curtail today turns out a giant tree tomorrow. Wake up I say! If you refuse to do so, and you compromise, though you claim to love this fellow, a time would come when you’ll begin to fell you can no longer continue with these little issues that have monstrous effect on your emotion, and all you want to do is call it quit!