Naija Notes: Madness is sweet!

A friend of mine has an interesting argument. He often says that madness is a sweet enterprise. The only snag is that mad men are usually too mad to notice the fun they are having.

My friend’s strange logic has been revolving around my head for some time now. It all began three days ago. A Tuesday, I arrived work early. Early means before 7 am. My sister in-law, a fellow banker had asked me to pick her up. She had woken late and missed her staff bus.

Riding with her meant taking a different route from the usual one and that was how I missed the early scenes of a smoldering drama unfolding on Mulliner Street, off Kingsway road, Ikoyi.

Immediately I got to work, I got busy and it wasn’t until about two hours later that I over heard a colleague saying something about the NNPC office in Ikoyi being on fire.

At the news, someone had said “Ah, somebody don chop money!”

Call it the classic Nigerian reaction to a fire incident in a public or corporate edifice and you won’t be wrong. Someone has perpetrated a crime and wants to cover his or her track. It was a simple matter.

But those things that appear too simple usually have an uncanny facility for surprising and shocking us. This one sure did.

Wednesday was Christmas day and I took my time getting up from sleep. When I did, the day had dawned and the morning news had been read. So I sat down to wine, dine, watch movies and entertain my guests.

26th of December was no different. I woke late, I stayed in and watched movies. And it wasn’t until my younger brother called in the afternoon that I learnt that “a certain man from our home town had confessed to setting the NNPC complex on fire.”

That certain man turned out to be Chris Nwaokobia, a lawyer, newspaper columnist, teevee talking head, and leader of two shadowy organizations, Youth Democratic Movement (YDM) and National Liberation Coalition (NALICO).

For those who never saw Chris Nwaokobia, handsome and debonaire, dressed casually in floral shirts and beads and dropping high sounding words (his favourite was hoi-polloi) on Channels Television’s Saturday talk programme, Sunrise, nor read his articles in his Glowing Vistas column in Sunday Post Express, will not have to wait for too long. Because in no time, the face of Chris Nwaokobia will be on the cover of all the major newsmagazines.

Believe me, nothing sells like bad news.

Who is Chris Nwaokobia? The answer will have to wait, but from what I saw and heard on those mornings, when as I had breakfast with my dad, Chris Nwaokobia would be delivering his vitriolic attacks against OBJ, Naaba, Anyim, Nzeribe, Gauis Obaseki or any other unlucky person unfortunate enough to be the subject of Yori Folarin and Alero Edu’s programme, I sensed a young man walking in the footsteps of other rabble rousers (yes) like Gani and Keyamo.

But this man has taken a different route. He has left shouting and screaming and writing. He has embraced action. He has struck a massive blow. He has burnt down a N1bn edifice.

Did he do it, did he not? That answer has to wait too. His wife says he did not, that the man she married is not a violent man. Now, that is open to debate. A man may not beat his wife, but setting a house on fire is another matter entirely.

When I heard the news of Chris Nwaokobia’s confession from my brother, I went into my study and dug up old editions of Sunday Post Express. I share with you a piece he did on December 15, 2002 entitled Syndrome (1).

Find below his first paragraph: “I grew up learning that self-survival is the greatest law. I was taught that one could apply reasonable force in self-defence.It took years for me to understand the purport (sic) of these philosophies and to what extent one can go in the application of them.”

But the interesting part is from a paragraph taken form somewhere in the middle of the piece where he rails against the FG and the NNPC: “Wait a minute, think of the anti-corruption drive of Mr. President. Think of the culture of selective probe that this regime sediments. Think of the allegation that over N300bn NNPC money grew wings. Think of the fact that Mr. President, the Chief Executive and Minister of Petroleum turns his eyes the other way without ordering a full probe into the NNPCGATE.”

I understand that Chris Nwaokobia called the BBC first to claim responsibility for the fire that gutted the NNPC building before going to AIT and Channels. I also understand that he is presently the guest of the SSS at Shangisha. What I do not understand is the reason behind his claim. Even if he did, was he under any obligation to make that claim? And how can he articulate the struggle if he is sentenced to a jail term?

I have turned these questions over and over in my head and the only conclusion I have arrived at is that something is seriously wrong with my kinsman. Call it sweet madness if you will.

And this is for those of you who have taken time out since Naija Notes made its debut on this site, to read or write. I thank you all and pray that all your dreams for 2003 shall sprout wings and soar like eagles.

And as the year ends, please take out time to reflect and count your blessings and then name them one by one. You’ll surely find something to be thankful to God for.

Have a great year.

Latest Posts

What Happened To Nigeria’s $20 Billion?

Nigeria is subliminally going through perilous times. Unfortunately, the...

Banks Are Not My Business

Whenever I see any bank and the ill-assorted characters...

Osun election: Between hope and fear

Hope springs eternal, and with elections just days away...

Osun: By this time on August 16

By Dotun Afolayan ​History does not merely happen; it is...

Don't miss

Nigerian Men and their Foreign Wives

Culturally, Nigerian men are overbearing, controlling, and paternalistic.  They relate to their fathers and mothers differently. They believe it is “a man’s world” and so they have the tendency to relegate women to subservient roles. I am stunned by the transformation Nigerian men, married to non-Nigerian women, have gone through in the United States...

Is Genevieve Nnaji Nigeria’s First Movie Superstar?

What is this Nnaji mystique that has her audience colliding heads so joyfully, crawling, craving some time in her sun? Star quality is what it is. The amount of talent dripping from her little finger is more than many of our other female leading ladies have combined...

Why Do African Men Go Home to Marry?

The African male is perplexing. He can be enigmatic. He can be everything and sometimes, nothing. He can be sweet and loving and caring and benevolent and at the same time oppressive. His life is full of contradictions. In so many ways, he is a wounded animal as a result of his historical past...

Mobil’s Oily Battle Over Intellectual Property Rights

The eight-year long battle between Commandclem Nigeria Limited and Mobil Producing Nigeria Limited, over ownership of patent and intellectual rights to a chemical invention for offshore drilling seems in sight…

Lost in a Sea of Hair Weaves

One can understand some black women wearing wigs for the same reasons that some white women do; because they are losing or have lost their hair. One can even make allowances for wigs being worn for the occasional change of look. But how to explain young women with full heads of hair who will never be seen dead with their natural hair?
Toni Kan Onwordi
Toni Kan Onwordi
Toni Kan Onwordi holds both a B.A. and M.A. English (Literature) degrees from the Universities of Jos and Lagos. His works have been published widely in the Art pages of prominent Nigerian newspapers and his poems have appeared in the anthology 25 New Nigerian Poets edited by Toyin Adewale. He has also had short stories published in anthologies like We-Men, Little Drops (1) and Diamond and Ashes. An award winning poet, essayist and short story writer, his awards have taken him to Scotland and Switzerland. Toni Kan is currently working on a novel, Secrets of the Untold.

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here