Nigeria Must Go

Oga Udoma, Why have you been celebrating these past days, abi you don win lottery or has any of your relatives been appointed into any government position?”

“Ah Timothy, where have you been? You never hear the news?”

“Which news again? That the Nigerian labour Congress (NLC) and the Trade Union Congress (TUC) have called off the four-day strike?

“You really surprise me Timothy. Is it only Nigerian affairs that concern you?”

“What else should concern me? Have you not heard that a man whose house is on fire does not leave putting off the fire to pursue rats?”

“Anyway, I have concluded plans to join my cousins in Ghana

Ghana? Wetin dey happen for Ghana?”

“I am relocating finally. My cousins have asked me to join them as soon as possible before it is too late. Very soon the mad rush will begin”

“Before what becomes too late? Oga Udoma, what exactly are you talking about? Are you now one of those people that travel to neighbouring African countries to live in the name of going abroad?”

“Make you dey there now. Just wait, very soon, you will take visa to come and visit me in Ghana

“Take which visa? Ghana ko, Ghana ni. What will you tell me next? That Ghanaians will soon start ‘bouncing’ Nigerians at their embassy in Lagos?”

“I am really sorry for you Timothy, you can not see beyond your doorstep. Are you the only one who has not heard that huge oil deposits, one of the biggest in Africa have been discovered in the western part of Ghana?

“You Nigerians are funny, so because oil has been discovered in Ghana, that is why you are rejoicing and getting ready to go to another man’s country, is it not the same oil that is drilled everywhere in Nigeria?”

“Timothy, you be real mugu. So despite all your night school, you still have not realised that the oil in Nigeria is not for Nigerians, there are people who own it”

“Ah, Oga Udoma, which one now? Person dey own oil? The oil in Nigeria belongs to all Nigerians”

“Is that what they told you? Please just leave me alone this morning to carry on with my packing. Na ignorance na him go kill you”

“So make I ask, who are these people that own our oil Oga Udoma?”

“I beg you this boy, just leave me alone this morning. Na for my mouth you want to hear it abi? The time Obasanjo was selling our refineries to Blue Star; did you not hear it in the news?

“Which one is Blue Star again?”

“So all these beer parlour you visit every night, what do you people talk about there? Maybe you should start coming to Mama Eliza’s place if you want to know what is happening in this our country”

“But you still have not answered my question, who abi wetin be Blue Star?”

“Don’t ask me, go and ask Femi Otedola and Aliko Dangote, next you would ask me who Chrome Oil is. If you want to know, go and ask your brother Emeka Offor”.

“Na which news you dey listen to self? Where do you get all these information?”

“Na Radio OBJ and Radio Kuffour idey listen to. I have told you what is on in Ghana

“Ah but me self I dey hear news too. No be only you know wetin dey happen”

“What do you know? One day they would sell the pant covering that your nyashless backside and you would not know”

“I heard that Olusegun Obasanjo has bought a private jet worth $36 million. They said he registered it in the name of MRS, a company owned by Alhaji Aliko Dangote and Sayyu Dantata”

“That na old news now”

“How can it be old news when he used the plane to travel to the West Indies last week while Nigerians were suffering the effects of the labour strike?

“That Obasanjo self na wa for am. I also heard that that during his brief stint at the Anambra state government house as Governor, Andy Uba, his former Senior Special Assistant declared his personal asset to be worth more than $8 billion”

“Ah Oga Udoma, e don do I beg. If Andy sees that kind of money, will he not faint? Please don’t spoil my appetite this morning with all these Radio – without – battery news. So when are you leaving for Ghana?”

“I am leaving this weekend”

“Ok, I wish you good luck. Remember to carry extra nylon sack bags with you”.

“Why? Did I tell you that I am planning to come back anytime soon?”

“Just in case, you may find that by the time you need it, the prices in cedis would have gone up”.

“Why would I ever need it?”

“You may need it during Nigeria – Must – Go”.

“Nigeria-Must-Go, which one is that again?

“Oh, you think that Ghanaians have forgotten the way Nigerians drove them away in the 80s during our economic boom?”

“So are you saying that they would chase us away in retaliation?”

“What would you do if you were in their shoes? You know that since the incident of the eighties, there hasn’t been much love lost between Nigerians and Ghanaians”

“Stop making it sound as if we are their enemies, the world has moved on since then. I’m sure our Ghanaian brothers know the value we will bring to their economy”

“You mean the wahala we will cause their economy?”

“Na you sabi”

“But wait self Oga Udoma, where in Africa has natural resources contributed to improvement in the quality of life of the citizens? Will it not be the same thing in Ghana?”

“What do you know Timothy? President Kuffour has promised that Ghanaians will set up a committee to learn from the experiences of other African countries in the management of their oil wealth”

“So they are planning to avoid the curse of oil abi na Dutch disease?”

“Yes o”

“So have they also talked about how they plan to curb the African disease?”

“Leave me alone jare, Mr Cynic”.

Written by
Uche Nworah
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3 comments
  • Very interesting article. Would like to make you realise that the economy of Ghana has been growing on the bakcbone of a large number of Nigerian companies and and individuals. There are over seven new generation banks from Nigeria operating in the country. Their arrival forced open the marketing attitude of Ghanaian banks which used to be like the First Banks of old. A Nigerian owned company introduced and still runs the Ghana Music Awards annually. They didn't have any before he came almost a decade ago. If there's any country Ghana owes praise, it is Nigeria and Nigerians. We have made them wake up to the fact that daily bread doesn't come to meet you in your room You have to hustle to get it. You would be able to relate to that if you've ever lived in Lagos. Ghana and Nigeria will forever be siblings. Their cordial relationship will go on long time. Unfortunately most Ghanaians see Nigerians as pacesetters and hustlers while Nigerians generally see Ghanaians as slackers and too laid back.

  • Na so now! It is typical of Nigerians to leave the wahala in their own backyard to abscond to another country wey they tink say better ting dey. That is why there are a lot of 'mini' Nigerias' around the world. Wedder now Napoli o, London, Atlanta, Texas, Vienna, Ireland abi Berlin you go find part of Nigeria for dere. I even hear say they full Russia and Australia anyhow. If the Ghanaian's have any sense then they would fortify their borders immediately to stop more Nigerians than necessary coming in to live of their new found wealth. I love my people but enough is enough! Someone needs to stay sort out the mess at home!

  • Brother Uche Nworah

    How are you doing today, and how is the “Long Harmattan Season” feeding in the market, Hope well. It is a relief and good news that our closest neighbour has found a huge deposit of crude oil. I was in Ghana last year, and sew first hand the living conduction of the people. To be candid, it wasn’t better than Nigeria. It is true that the country have a stable power supply, I found out while I was there, that it was only 15% of the territory that have infrastructure for electricity, that is to say, that it is only the major cities and capitals that have power supplies, while more than 85% of the entire territory, don’t have poles or transformers. I hope therefore, that this new development will help the government extend this facility, to all the citizens of the country. This is why the news is a welcome relief to learn of this latest discovery.

    We all have a responsibility, to see that the government of Ghana did not enter the same terms of agreement with the multi national companies that will be responsible for drilling the crude from the earth. They most learn fast, and have more than 60% of the resources as compared to the 20% Nigeria and many other Africa countries have in the final exploration of the mineral from the soil. They should also avoid anything that will put them in longer head with the west, and most avoid pressure from the multi national companies that are probably lining up to present proposals, and their governments that always apply aggressive methods for contract negotiations, and do not take disappointed likely. If their proposals are not considered, may try to provoke confusion that will lead to conflict, and finally wars, so that rebels, selfish individual or unauthorized persons will reach favourable agreements with their companies like we have seen in Liberia, Sierra Leon etc….

    Ghana has a very discipline people that will grow fast if the new discovered resources are properly managed. I don’t see anything wrong if Oga Udoma thinks he can benefit from the essence of this discovery. Ecowas is waxing stronger, and promoting interregional integration and corporations. And by the end of 2009, members state will began to use one currency. If the success of Ecowas, and the economies of member’s state, has developed to this stage, the discovery of mineral resources in Ghana, will further promote, encourage investments, and finally improve the standard of living of majority of citizens of Ecowas member state, o the “West African States”.

    Good article but sounds like a joke.