Politics is big and good business in Nigeria. It is a money spinner and its returns are instant. It is also an open and liberal sector that confers a larger than life status to those lucky few political actors who gain access to public offices. The flip side of it, however, is that it consumes the soul and conscience faster than any other endeavour. One can easily kill or be killed in politics. It is also high in character and reputation depreciation. Every politician is seen first and foremost as a corrupt and thieving manipulator before any other thing else. Even the Pastor or Imam believes thatpoliticians are the country’s problem and that if God truly loves and wants to forgive the nation, he must first wash away the politicians and their Sodomic influences on the land. For this and many more reasons I refuse to vote it as the most beneficial business in Nigeria.
I have been forced to believe that corruption, which is native to politics and politicians, is a thriving business in Nigeria. It is a sector with no ethical or regulatory code. There are no Mafias to regulate greed and lay boundaries for spheres of operation. In fact those in the Mallam Nuhu Ribadu’s School of thought insist that all and every public office holder in Nigeria is corrupt and that all the wealth they are flaunting is stolen from public coffers. They emphasize the fact that the riches that past and present public holders are flaunting are easily traceable to their public lives. This school does not believe in Alhaji Abubakar Atiku’s N31, 000 miracle. Its apostles would stone you to death if you preach Atiku’s sermon. I do not blame them. The case of Atiku is most unsettling because it makes all of us look like lazy and unthinking fools who could not spin millions with just a few thousand nairas. The other day I spent over N1 Million on generators alone for my studios and I am not dreaming of becoming half as rich as Alhaji Atiku. The ex customs man and now heckling Vice President of the Federal Republic of Nigeria is rich and in fact a billionaire in any denominated currency in the world and yet he said he made all of that wealth from investing in properties with N31, 000.But I will not to pursue this rebuttal too far lest I am seen or understood to say that the Vice President, who is so eager to take over from the saint of Aso Rock that he is already wrestling the saint to the ground, is corrupt. Imagine me stepping on the toes of a man that is not only fighting his boss but also tearing down the walls of Professor Maurice Iwu’s Independent Electoral Commission. God Forbid! A man like that may not have a large heart to forgive people like us and who knows, he might just as well replicate his magical prowess and succeeded Emperor Obasanjo with or without the Peoples (Formidable) Democratic Party. You know what will happen to me at that time. Those who hurt or bruised the ego of the Christian minded General Olusegun Obasanjo before 1999 can tell you what will happen to me if I make the mistake of hinting that Mr. Vice President is an unrepentant lying cheat.
Back to the corruption business. No doubt, it is a solid business that even the voice that felled the walls of Jericho cannot fell. Corruption, like politics, is an all comers’ business but it has its challenges and risks. One can bluff the Independent Corrupt Practices Commission but it is dangerous to cross the path of that smallish Mallam’s Economic and Financial Crimes Commission.Mallam Nuhu Ribadu’s EFCC is proving to be a crucial bar on the extent to which one can grow in that sector. The EFCC is a risk that one cannot insure against and woe betides one who is unlucky to fall in its trap. It is a clear and present danger to the corruption business. For these and many more reasons I withhold my vote against corruption as the most lucrative business in Nigeria.
Religion is a business no man can go wrong with in Nigeria. It is also one business that conforms to the Open Door Standard. One does not need to be as eloquent and high sounding like Pastor Chris Okotie, the man after my heart. One does not needed to be magical or outstanding in miracles like the Joshuas or the Oyakhilomes. Onedoes not need to be a Mallam with sound background in Islamic studies. Just have your game plan and you are a man of God. But the better part, which I want to restrict myself to, is the prosperity preaching aspect of it. Prosperity preaching is one easy way of setting one firmly on the path of stupendous riches. With a well choreographed and executed plan, especially when made around young frustrated and husband-searching spinsters, Religious business is good business. The best part of it is that its returns are unquantifiable. The higher one gets in that business the nearer one gets to be seen as a god that can do no wrong. In it, husbands are happy that their wives sleep with the lecherous man of God. In it, the pastor is more respected and revered than the husband, the employer, the father or the brother. Religious business is the only business that man can steal from man and the victim goes home happier for it. It is a taxless business that only God can judge or assess in the life hereafter. Unlike the politician or corrupt rogue, the man of God is a respected thief that even the law is afraid of.
But people are becoming wiser. Those that are entrapped in it by poverty, frustration, joblessness and other societal or psychological needswould in time free themselves whenever the real God or the economy smile on them. From what is happening in Europe and America, the religious boom is time bound and its bubble may soon burst. For these and many more reasons I refuse to believe that religious business is the most lucrative business in Nigeria.
Hospitality business which is ignored by many is the most lucrative business in Nigeria. Tourism is an arm of the hospitality business. Cultural activities like the Argungu International Fishing and Cultural Festival are solid aspects of the hospitality sector. By themselves they can turn the economy of this country around. As an individual I would not hesitate in investing in any segment of the hospitality sector. But my personal advice to governments is that there is money to be made in the prostitution business.
Yes, prostitution is illegal in Nigeria but it is the most patronized business in this country. It is the business that fill in the gap created by the neglect of the night life by the various governments in the country. As soon as the normal and legal businesses close for the day, the prostitution business takes over lasting till dawn. If only parents know where their children are getting their expensive clothes, shoes, watches and telephones from, then they will join me in this discussion. The propensity of the average girl to prostitute is so high that I wonder whether there is something inherently promiscuous in the kind of food that our young girls eat these days. From their clothes to the gaits they exude promiscuity. The so called undergraduates are worse. They want everything modern and expensive and yet all they think they have to sell to satisfy their lust is their bodies.
The government is paying a blind eye to this and I am saying it is losing unnecessary. Legalise prostitution and earn revenue that can turn around dying and decaying infrastructures and institutions. It is wrong for the government not to be involved in the commercial sex business when it is so obvious that it is the most singular business turning the economic wheel at night. If government is taxing liquor and cigarette sellers, why not tax sex sellers?