Taming A Man's Manhood!

Quite unlike Olusegun Obasanjo (the ‘dead’ statesman whose dismal failure as President of the Nigerian Republic is still haunting him in spite of the hollow grandstanding on the contrary) I found myself holidaying in Paris for the past three weeks and reading Nigerian newspapers and magazines online. I can hardly live out a day anywhere without keeping abreast with home news, good or bad. Wherever one finds himself at any given point in time it is good indeed to know about home since there’s no place like home. Whether one’s homeland is in regressive turmoil or in progressive peace home will remain home.

In one of the books I read in the French Capital, a glittering city where Princess Diana met her untimely tragic death a decade ago, chilled in its winter season, “Think And Grow Rich”, by Napoleon Hill, I came across “The Ten Stimuli of the Mind”. According to Mr Hill: “The human mind responds to stimuli, through which it may be “keyed up” to high rates of vibration, known as enthusiasm, creative imagination, intense desire, etc. The stimuli to which the mind responds most freely are: the desire for sex expression; love; a burning desire for fame, power, or financial gain, money; music; friendship between either those of the same sex, or those of the opposite sex; a mastermind alliance based upon the harmony of two or more people who ally themselves for spiritual or temporal advancement; mutual suffering, such as that experienced by people who are persecuted; auto-suggestion; fear; narcotics and alcohol.”

For Hill whose book was a rich product of years of study and investigation involving the rich and powerful in America and elsewhere: ” The desire of sex expression comes at the head of the list of stimuli, which most effectively “step up” the mind and start the “wheels” of physical action. Eight of these stimuli are natural and constructive. Two are destructive. The list is here presented for the purpose of enabling you to make a comparative study of the major sources of mind stimulation. From this study, it will be readily seen that the emotion of sex is, by great odds, the most intense and powerful of all mind stimuli.”

The urge of sex in man is natural. And history bears testimony to the fact that behind every great man of fame, fortune or power there is a woman of substance propelling him to greater heights in his prime. People go to any lenght to make it in life in order to satisfy their sexual needs; even armed robbers, corporate robbers do crime to be able to obtain and maintain the basic necessities of life which in turn guarantee access to female anatomy.

Women through the ages have effortlessly demonstrated their anatomical power. Yet it goes without saying that uncontrollable sex could be a destructive element. HIV/AIDS pandemic readily comes to mind! The Bible taught us how Adam “fell” victim to Eve’s beguiling beauty by heeding the Satan-induced call for an evil fruit pudding. Samson the dreadlocked great with his natural power over lion and edifice demolition was demystified and destroyed by the charming guiles of his wife.

My late father, a man of considerable archaic wisdom and influence in the village during his time, was a polygamist marrying three wives. In their time and epoch however before the advent of the modern man and concomitant civilisation polygamy was widely embraced and practised. But the modern man has evolved over time but some religion like Islam still encourage faithfuls to marry as many wives as possible as far as there is the material means to maintain the conjugal status.

The late Bashorun Abiola, the best President Nigeria never had post-Awo, was known to be a chronic polygamist but he was highly organised family-wise, business-wise. After the June 12 saga consumed him sadly however the managers of his estate in London has had to resort to DNA system to be able to ascertain pretenders and biological partakers of his great wealth in accordance with his Will. The accurate number of Chief Abiola’s children may never be completely known! And many of them risk becoming bastards!

The PDP member of the Federal House of Representatives from Oyo State, Honourable Olusegun Oladimeji, assassinated by hired killers weeks back reportedly had as many as seven wives with more than 26 children! The melancholic wives were bemoaning how his death would adversely affect them since the late randy lawmaker was yet to ‘recoup’ the money he invested in the campaign leading up to his ‘election’. How sad!

The ‘Governor’ of Adamawa State, Murtala Nyako was in the news for bad reasons penultimate month. His four “highly educated” wives were squabbling and scheming over who became the ‘official’ First Lady of the Atiku State. (The “ThisDay” editorial middle of last month on this subject-matter written by one Kunle Akogun was a masterpiece). Nyako is a man whose ‘sharp’ libido has been put into ‘trouble’. He consequently ‘decreed’ that the four wives including Binta, an Abuja-based Federal High Court Judge, should be accommodated assigning different beats to each of them. Binta for instance should be Adamawa First Lady in Abuja and not in Adamawa!

Ladies and gentlemen, the major concern here is not what Nyako’s choice of polygamy has thrown up but the material cumulative effects on the Adamawa State‘s treasury. The First Lady phenomenon in Nigeria, made awkwardly popular by Maryam Babangida, in its extra-constitutional form, has become a conduit for siphoning of public funds. It is high time the NASS took a hard look at this phenomenon so that its place should be situated properly in our constitution.

IBB, the evil genius of a dictator, upon creating Delta State out of Anini’s Bendel bowed to his wife’s wish of citing the capital city in Asaba. Instead of a centrally-located city in an Itsekiri/Urhobo dominated state Babangida acted in deference to Maryam, the “better life for rural women” champion! Comrade Adams Oshiomhole had accused OBJ of rigging Prof. Osunbor to power in Edo State because of their marital links. Late Stella Obasanjo hailed from Edo State and Oshiomhole claimed Obasanjo ‘danced’ to the ‘in-law’ music from Benin City rather than the democratic rhythm.

Sani Abacha, the late tyrant cum kleptocrat, met his waterloo in an imported foreign prostitute. Those who plotted his apple-eating demise deserved credit for their ingenuity — a hapless nation was saved from suffocating “Hurricane Abacha”. When one considers that Abacha’s wife is a beautiful woman then the argument by some promiscuous elements that “man shall not live by tasti

ng one kind of ‘soup’ all the time” becomes apt.

In my village a certain man, Okonkwo the stammerer, now late, was once summoned by his extended family during the Xmas feast to explain his penchant for breeding unspaced children year in year out. Okonkwo had then eleven children and he was a poor bricklayer who also doubled as “ogbu akwu” (palm fruit cutter). In the meeting his rich half-brother based in Lagos was livid with anger raining abuses on him for his inability to control procreation. And when Okonkwo was called upon to speak he defended himself like this: “Onye obuna raam aka o, eh, rapu num aka kam muba nwa” (everybody should spare me, leave me alone to bear children). And Okonkwo was not done yet as he continued unruffled: “Ebe Chineke ga acho inye m ego….ma n’enyem umu, k’oburu ihe nketara n’uwa” (since God has refused to give me money but gives me children, let it be my portion in life).

When I went back home February this year Okonkwo’s first son is a trained vulcaniser, the second an illiterate ‘building contractor’ and the first daughter had gotten married to an old widower after an “unknown soldier” — (apology to the late Abami Eda) — had put her in a family way necessitating her marriage out of choice. In Igboland pregnancy outside wedlock, “ime mkpuke” or before marriage is seen as a ‘taboo’! And whoever is ‘loaded’ gets a ‘tokunboh’ husband for sure.

The late Okonkwo in my village is only but a metaphor. To be sure there are millions of Okonkwos around Africa who see Bill Clinton as a “stupid White man” for his one girl-child one-wife family situation — a family situation that has remained in spite of Monika Lewinsky White House sex scandal. For them (African fathers) having a male child that will ‘replace’ them and continue the family lineage after their ‘departure’ is non-negotiable even if it involves involving the Devil or marrying as many wives as possible. While there’s need for a male progeny especially in Africa I have seen a family where an educated professional girl waged ‘war’ with a whole community! What matters most is up-bringing and not how many Tysons or Juniors one has in his family.

How do we tame a man’s manhood? How can this ‘pistol’ that has killed many and taken many ‘prisoners’ be tamed? Despite the sophistry of man and his academic and scientific breakthroughs the libido still constitutes a big problem to mankind. A friend of mine once told me jocularly that no matter how educated or honourable a man can be in life the “third leg” remains ignorant! He maintained rightly that it remains a sensitive part of the man’s body that controls and overwhelms his emotions.

Taming the man’s manhood therefore is practically impossible because it is uncontrollable by majority of our kind. Yet the good and bad news deducible is that it makes and breaks our being as mere mortals.

Written by
SOC Okenwa
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