The Two Johnnies – A Tribute

by Ike Anya

The first time I saw him, I was standing on a gravel path behind my classroom at King’s College. His chubby frame clad in the de rigueur white shorts and shirt that was our College uniform, he was walking towards the point where I stood chatting with my childhood friend and classmate John Eze. It was our first term at King’s College and while I had quickly learned to keep my nose out of trouble and avoid the formidable torment from bullying senior boys, my friend John was of a more adventurous spirit. Keen at answering back, and never biting his tongue, he had soon gained a reputation among the senior boys as a “caster”. This quaint term bestowed on those junior boys who instead of keeping their heads low and taking whatever was doled out to them by seniors, was akin to a licence to making your life miserable. John was undeterred though and his frequent trips to various Housemasters to report bullying seniors had continued unabated in spite of threats and now, there were darkly whispered murmurings about how he was to face the brine treatment at our forthcoming initiation night. This was a school tradition at the end of the first term where all the new Form One boys were to mount the stage, one by one and recite the words “I am a fag, a dirty stinking fag, I am to be seen and not to be heard. I come from the bush village of X where we eat frogs toads and rats. From today I promise to be a true King’s College boy and to leave behind me all outlandish behaviour. With your kind permission, I would wish to entertain you with a song/poem/drama sketch” Following the hapless new boy’s performance, the School Captain would take a voice vote from the rest of the school on whether the brine solution should be administered or not. The need to avoid drinking brine was a powerful incentive to most of us to be on our best behaviour that first term, but not my friend John. So as this chubby Form Two boy made his way towards us on the isolated gravel path, John yelled “Fatty!” and took off. As I cowered at the edge of the path, I saw “Fatty” throw down his bulging school bag (mark of the day student) and chase after John in swift pursuit. He was built like a tank, but moved like the wind. John had miscalculated. He was soon captured, had his ear twisted, and fearful of being reported to a Prefect, started begging for mercy. I soon joined my friend in his pleading and that was when I first saw him, the one John had called Fatty smile. It was a huge smile, the white teeth, with a gap in the front, gleaming out of his dark face, the dimples appearing as if by magic in the chubby cheeks. “You can go”, he said, “My name is Udoffa” as he picked up his discarded schoolbag and headed for the School gates. For a senior to brush off such an insult in this way was quite unusual, but I was soon to learn over the years that that was the quintessential Udoffa. Behind his brash, blustery exterior resided a heart with genuine warmth.

I was to know him only as Udoffa for several years, following the College tradition of using surnames only, and I watched him shine on the cricket pitch, and make his smiling way through the College. He graduated a year ahead of me and it wasn’t until he was admitted into the University of Nigeria that I met him again and learnt his first name, Johnny. He was studying Engineering ,it was my father’s fiftieth birthday, and we had had a huge party at the house on the university campus where we then lived. Johnny had turned up with the Egwuatus, a brother and sister who were long-standing family friends who were also first year undergraduates. The party was dying out then and I can remember us all sitting on the steps at the back of the house, eating chicken and rice and birthday cake and downing the beer I had only then just been allowed to drink. When my father came round to chat with us, it turned out my father had taught Johnny’s father years before. Perhaps that made us a little closer and when I was admitted to study Medicine at Nsukka the next year, Johnny together with his close friends from King’s, the two Okafors, made sure they kept an eye out for the small group of King’s College boys who were freshmen that year. He had maintained his passion for cricket and could often be seen striding along with a single cricket stump on his way to and from the legendary Agbebi buildings where the engineering faculty was located. The engineering boys had a reputation for living life hard, and the solitary girls among them had a hard time of it. If ever a faculty smouldered with testosterone, it was the engineering block at Nsukka. And, so perhaps it was a perfect foil for Johnny, but somehow whenever I bumped into him on campus, I was always impressed by his solicitousness, because he always seemed to want to make sure that I and the other KC boys were fine.

When I left Nsukka for the clinical school in Enugu, I had less and less contact with Johnny and by the time I graduated, hardly ever saw him again. There were chance meetings at airports and motor parks, the quickly snatched few moments of conversation from which I learned he had gone on to work for an oil company and was building a career.

The last time I saw him, strangely enough was in a church hall near Northolt. My friend John, the one who had called him “Fatty” had just died after a long and harrowing battle with multiple myeloma. We were holding a wake for him, and as we sat in the hall, saddened and bereft, I noticed a large figure looming over my chair. I looked up to see that smile again, it was Johnny. He was on holiday in the United Kingdom and having just heard about John had traipsed halfway across London to be at the wake. We exchanged numbers, I remember and promised to keep in touch, but somehow never got round to doing it.

This week, in between lectures, I slipped into one of the computer rooms to do a quick e-mail check. Opening my e mail, I saw an e-mail from my old classmate Olu Akpata, indefatigable facilitator of our boarding school network. Some bad news, the e-mail said. My eyes sped down the page to read that Johnny Udoffa was dead at 33 and that he would be buried in two days time. My vision blurred, I felt confused. I wanted to do something, speak to someone, anyone. I wondered what I was thinking of, sitting here in this computer room when Johnny was dead. I had probably never felt more isolated than at that point. I did not even know what had happened, how it had happened. Almost exactly two years ago at the beginning of 2002, I lost my friend John. I remember arriving from the airport, from my Christmas holidays, thinking how I was going to visit John the next day to wish him a Happy New Year, and hearing the telephone ring, and being told John was gone. I remember the trip to Northolt, that cold winter night and sitting in John’s living room, seeing his photographs smiling from the walls. I remember trying to get our old classmates together to work with John’s friends and family to plan the funeral. And I remember, big, bluff, Johnny Udoffa at the wake, his dimpled smile shedding light at a dark time. Today, I remember as Johnny Udoffa is laid to rest in Lagos, another Johnny, Johnny Eze who once called him “Fatty”. And I remember the first time I saw them together, standing on a gravel path.

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Anonymous November 8, 2021 - 5:27 pm

We miss you Uncle John. Keep resting in the bosom of the Lord. Daddy is now reunited with you in heaven now. You both will forever be in our hearts.

Okay February 21, 2021 - 6:03 am

Johnny “boy” Eze was one of my best friends growing up and right through university , johnny took friendship to another level very few like him I miss him till date . Great all round chap .
John Udoffa I also knew in UNN to be a very cool guy soft spoken and loved life and loved his cricket.
Thanks Ike for the article as I battle to hold back tears many years on .

Francis Okeke February 20, 2021 - 11:08 pm

Ik well written. I only knew Johnny boy Eze as an Nsukka boy. Did not know John Udoffa but from the write up sounds like a jolly good fellow. May both their gentle souls RIP!!

Private January 25, 2011 - 6:11 am

I knew both Jonnies… “bully” as we came to know him was my classmate & friend. He kept our set class of 86 together while he was with us & life hasn’t been the same since he left. I remember our resolve at his interment to honor him by keeping the set alive but unfortunately we haunt kept to his lofty standards.. I also remember hearing that “Eze” had passed on, sad that such great young minds have gone. The books says ” the beautiful ones are not yet born” I say ours have left us.. Rest in perfect peace “Jonnies” may your legacy continue to burn bright.. Like our school song says…Service to the living. Honor to our dead

Tammy November 8, 2010 - 2:25 pm

I was doing a research when i saw this article. I am sorry for your loss and i can feel however remotely the pains of your loss. As is the case with a loss,words are quite inadequate to speak with. Very beautiful article you have written in tribute to your friend.

May his soul rest in perfect peace as with Johnny Eze also and may we all learn to seize the “Now” in reaching out and sharing with others.

IFY OLIEH October 21, 2009 - 6:45 pm

I knew Johnny he was a very good friend of my late brother Emeka they both passed the same year and were really good mates . I remember both of them coming to pick me at a party near jamb office in Ikoyi cause Johnny lived near by those days . He was kind hearted and a true loyal friend to my brother .

Onimisi Baiye March 4, 2008 - 7:31 am

I have attended the same secondary schools with Johnny, and the same University with Alice. Johnny was an interesting person to have as a senior.

Bimpe Odunjo March 13, 2007 - 9:11 pm

John"Bull" Udoffa was a real gem! He served as my surrogate big brother while I attended Queen's College in the same form as his sister, Alice. John indeed had a heart of gold. Thank you for remembering him. Rest in Perfect Peace.

Omesiri Ejofodomi September 12, 2005 - 3:33 am

It took me along time to search for this article and to read it. I had heard about it a while ago but could not stand the pain of actually coming to terms with my grief … (and still battling with this till today) to look it up. I thank God constantly that we had the chance to have our lives touched by John Idongesit Udoffa (MRH as I fondly called him)). He was a wonderful person and a joy to be around. I thank you for making his memory live on.

Anonymous September 3, 2005 - 9:02 pm

Again very well written. Ndo.

obinna eze May 2, 2005 - 5:02 pm

The Big J, as i called him, was all anyone could ever ask of in a brother. He left an indelible impression on everyone he came across. Very grateful to God he was my brother. Thank you IK for the article.

Anonymous February 21, 2021 - 2:46 pm

well said Bro

alice Odum April 7, 2005 - 3:04 pm

Thank you for this tribute to my only brother Johnny Udoffa and your friend John. Johnny was a special person. We thank God we had he chance to know him.

Uzoma April 6, 2005 - 8:15 pm

May your friend’s soul rest in peace. I remember making a phone call to nigeria, excited to talk to an old friend after such a long time and being told by the butler that he was dead. All I had and still have is memories of him, not even a picture. I feel your pain. They will not feel anymore pain, I guess that is one way of looking at it. Keep writing. I can definitely relate to alot of what you write.

chichi April 6, 2005 - 4:08 pm

This was such a touching artical. To the write i am very sorry, and i am sure that your friend, where ever he is could not have asked for a better tribute.

Tosin January 1, 1970 - 12:00 am

May John Udoffia`s soul rest in perfect peace and the other John Eze.


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