13 new Things I just learnt about Nigeria

The simmering debate on the deportation of some people of Igbo extraction by Governor Fashola has opened up a bigger debate on the necessity of the colloquy that must take place between us all. For me, everything is a lesson, and in 2013, I have just learnt 13 new things about Nigeria and Nigerians amidst the back-and-forth, ping-pong-style verbal ricochet now hitting the media waves in the country. If some of these submissions are wrong, please forgive me, I am only human.

1. If you live in Lagos and have fallen on bad times, you can be deported when caught.

2. A mentally–challenged person or beggar cannot be rehabilitated by his state of residence but by his state-of-origin.

3. If you don’t like who lives in your neighborhood, just call them beggars and ship them back where they came from.

4. In Lagos, deportation is the legal means of getting rid of “excess-luggage”, in the North, it is beheading and bombing.

5. Now we know, after all, Lagos is not a Yoruba territory.

6. The title; “Oba of Lagos” will eventually become either the “Obi of Lagos” or “Emir of Lagos” because Lagos is a “No-man’s-land”.

7. The hatred of one tribe by the other in Nigeria is deeper than we ever thought, and it is getting deeper.

8. Many Pastors are not going to comment on the deportation discussion. Hah! Anything that will affect Tithe & Offering is sacrosanct (no-go-area).

9. Politicians who currently hold positions will not let you know how they really feel. Believe it, they feel plenty.

10. Femi Fani-Kayode was merely expressing what many Yorubas (not all) hold as opinions about the Igbos and Nigeria, Orji Kalu and others were merely expressing what many Igbos (not all) think about the Yorubas and Nigeria.

11. Both fani-Kayode and Kalu currently have no political jobs; the rave and rage is an application for one.

12. Hausas are not going to get in the frantic fray with you fools, bruise yourselves and they cruise to the presidency in 2015.

13. Regular Nigerians do not give a hoot about this hoopla; they just want food on their table.

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