Aaron Ringera and Nuhu Ribadu

The name of the Kenyan counterpart of Nuhu Ribadu is Aaron Ringera. He is a judge. From what we have garnered from press reports, not many Kenyans feel Justice Ringera and his commission are doing much in the quest to make corruption kiss the feet of reasoning. Fingers were pointed at live frauds like Anglo Leasing, which is regarded as the flagship of corruption in Kenya. Nuhu Ribadu on the other hand has achieved a handful of breakthroughs. Where Ringera has been successful in arraigning a few permanent secretaries, the great Nuhu has been able to successfully get the chief law enforcement officer(the equivalent of General Ali Hussein) of Nigeria out of job for stealing a ‘modest’ seventeen million naira, not only that the man spent a whooping six months in jail! Three governors had been kicked out of office and more are in court. The amiable Justice has a few things to learn about the ways of Nigeria’s own Niccolo Machiavelli.

Corruption a la Africa has gone beyond the ordinary; it has assumed the garb of a rampaging psychotic mien. Anybody wanting to combat the pandemic must be mad, psychologically disturbed and display all the mannerisms that could have shamed Hitler and his cohorts. The noise about the rule of law is a misnomer where you are dealing with a gang that has stolen a hefty fifty billion of a local currency. Where was the law hiding its head when the shillings and naira were being stolen? The investigator should be as ruthless and inordinate as the thieves. Being legally pedantic with such group is fallacious; it is akin to begging the question.

This is where the difference between Nuhu and Aaron becomes tangible. When Aaron was wasting his time bantering with the public prosecutor because his KACC does not have the power of prosecution, my own dear Nuhu ambushed a few legislators, beat the shit out of them and forced the bemused MPs to impeach a state governor at six o’clock in the morning from a hotel room! Did you hear that sir? From a hotel room, not from the hallowed hall of house of assembly, not from the sacred chambers of parliament: legislators (MPs) opened a session of the house in a hotel room and impeached a sitting governor. The rule of law was simply sat on its head just like the roguish governor ignored morality when he was stealing public money. That is one manner of dealing with those whose forte is pen robbery. A person who stole one million pound (equivalent of two hundred and sixty million naira) meant for providing the basics of live for the masses is nothing but very sick in the head. Therefore, waiting for the finesse of legal mumbo jumbo would have given the currency thieves the necessary leeway to waltz their ways to some unqualified freedom.

It is not a joke pitching your tent against a side as formidable as organized crime, crime, not in the mould of Matheri or Anini. What Justice Ringera is fighting is more brutal, devastating and destructive than a million Matheris put together.

Stealing is infectious, when a thief is successful once he is encouraged to try again. It means Ringera should visit Moi Avenue (I think that is where the sports shops are located) more frequently and arm himself with varieties of those spike shoes especially those made of iron and stones. You may be wondering what he would need the sprinter’s shoes for. Running, of course. One Nigerian feature of graft that is missing in Kenya is sprinting or running. Once the Nigerian thief senses that Nuhu is very close on his heels, he picks race hops in a molue-Nigerian equivalent of matatu-and hides in either London or America. Therefore, like his Nigerian responsibility-sake, Ringeria should recommend the spike shoes for his lieutenants too. In addition, they must train very hard, a few laps round the Nyayo Stadium every other day should help keep the team in shape. Of course, you do not know when the Kenyan grafter will start picking the trait of his Nigerian counterpart. The sprint theory is to help keep the Kenyan thieve catchers a step ahead of the thieves.

The last piece of weapon is unconventionality. A short course in the Faculty of Immunology, Department of Imperviousness will expose Ringera team to the realities of the Nigerian version of graft fighting. All the talk of lack of evidence to prosecute will be outdated; Githongo and his tapes will also become redundant because many incontrovertible tapes will be in circulation. By the time three or four prominent politicians are dragged in the mud, handcuffed, pushed, shoved and a crazy driver is asked to run the tyres of a demented matatu over their legs, they will confess. By then their colleagues would have learnt one or two lessons about this made in Nigeria Ringera.