It is unlikely anyone knows for sure the number of successful or promising Black men who are dating, or are married to White women. All we know is that the number is large; we also know that in some communities, dating or being married to a White woman is considered desirable. On the other hand, it is easy to have an accurate count of the number of thriving White men who are dating or are married to Black women. If the former is twenty-five thousand Black men, the latter may be no more than one hundred and fifty White men.
Actually, one hundred and fifty may be too generous a number. It has been observed that successful White men seem not to have reasons to look elsewhere; but successful Black men always seem to have reasons — flimsy or not — to look elsewhere for mates. Outside of the United States — particularly in Europe and Latin America — the ratio is more encouraging. There are cultural, social and historical reasons for this. In sub-Saharan African countries, however, the numbers are actually dismal.
Sexual attraction is one thing, marriage is another. In fact, what we have in sub-Saharan Africa — depending on the country in focus — can be considered low-risk prostitution, sexual exploitation, or toto-slavery. There are three reasons why this is taking place: crushing poverty; the total disregard for Blacks; and power play. At the other end of the spectrum are successful Africans, who, after years of sojourn abroad, returned home with their wives and children.
From1970 until 1980, or thereabout, the size of foreign-born women married to Nigerian men so alarmed the Nigerian military government that it forbade its military and Foreign Service officers from marrying non-Nigerians. National security and state secret became an issue. Those already married to non-Nigerians were allowed to keep their wives, but for a while, the ban on new or future liaisons with foreign born spouses was in effect.
There are several ways through which the outside world is recolonizing Africa — large scale sexual abuse is one such ways. The dehumanization of Africa through sex is a phenomenon that has largely gone unnoticed. And even where it has been noticed, alarms are not being raised. Civil societies have gone alarmingly quiet on this issue; and so have governments, religious bodies and the intellectual class.
In this instance, I am not referring to the thousands of African women, and hundreds of African men, who go to Europe to engage in prostitution. No. My concern here is the kind of prostitution, domination and abuse, which are taking place within the continent. Of special note is Nigeria, where thousands of women are nothing but sex freaks in the service of non-Black men. For instance, the Niger Delta region is considered the largest sex bazaar in the West African sub-region. Foreign oil workers, the expatriates, have their pick of women — some as young as 15. By the time they turn 25 or 30, they have become connoisseurs of all types of decent, indecent, imaginable and unimaginable sex acts.
By or at that age — 25 through 30 — they have become aficionados of bedroom violence. What’s more, they become carriers and transmitters of all types of diseases. The crushing poverty and acute hopelessness within the region makes the women susceptible to sexual exploitation. And so it is that for the equivalent of five dollars, a foreign oil worker can have two women engage in sex while he watches; for ten dollars or so, an expatriate can have sex with two sisters or cousins; for fifteen dollars three workers can dominate one girl — gleefully doing to her what only the sickest of all sick perverts can only imagine.
Scatology, for instance, is a new addition. Sodomy, especially of young boys, is ancient, but has in recent years been gaining currency. Because Nigeria, like most sub-Saharan African countries is not a statistics-literate country, no one has the estimate of boys/men who willingly or unwillingly engage in anal sex and/or prostitution. Nonetheless, patterns indicate three formations: (1) most of the boys are not gays, their anality is simply a means of survival, a manifestation of the failure Nigeria has become; (2) such activities are found mostly in Lagos, Kaduna, Kano, Abuja, and Port Harcourt; and (3) their clients are both domestic and foreign nationals.
The unequal sexual relations that are prominent in the oil-producing region are also present wherever you find a large gathering of expatriates. For instance, Julius Berger Nigeria plc (a subsidiary of Germany’s Bilfinger Berger) has been present in the country since the 1960s. In recent years, it has become customary that wherever you find Julius Berger, you are also likely to find floating and rotating sex pavilions. For a dollar here, and a dollar there, girls of any and all ages and descriptions flock to their terminals and barracks for sexual rendezvous.
Something else you should know: there is a phenomenon that has been present in the Nigerian social landscape for as far back as I can remember: the sexual exploitation of Nigerian women by the Lebanese community. The Indian and Pakistani communities were also part of this treachery, but the Lebanese were the masters of the game: using African women as sexual toys, and never really considering them good for marriage. The local girls, in their estimate, were/are not good for marriage, but are good for fly-by-night sexing.
Every now and then, however, one finds a non-black, especially a European, Canadian or American, who is married to an African woman. A few of such marriages are genuine and borne out of friendship and love. Most, however, are similar to what is known in the Islamic world as Mut’a (temporary marriage). Within the African context, such marriages are, in general, characterized by the fact that (a) The marriage is kept secret to his family in his home country; (b) The wife and the children may never join him when he returns home; and (c) such a union allows the man to play out his polygyny fantasy.
In the end though, a nagging question remains: as a whole, why are White men reluctant to date/marry Black women? As it turned out, the reasons some White men gives for not dating or marrying Black women, are about the same reasons some Black men give for not marrying Black women. Collated, there are a dozen or so such reasons. In the end, the main beneficiaries are White women. And then there are Asian women. Some Black men are now going gaga over them, losing their mind in the process.
Part 3 Coming Soon: Three questions will be answered: (a) why are White men averse to marrying Black women; (b) why a sizeable number of successful Black men stay away from Black women; and (c) what’s the problem with Black women? And more…