Computer Love

by Michael Ewetuga

You know I’ve been searching for someone
Who can share that special love with me
And your eyes have that glow
Could it be your face I see on my computer screen

That was Zapp & Roger in a song titled computer love. Anyone that rocks the club scenes in the 80s knows this song, I particular like the part of Roger on the talkbox.

When I was rocking that music I had not touched a computer. In college, a friend of mine, Kehinde Oladele, who was in the computer and economics department tried to get me into using the computer. I was not interested in sitting in front of some box looking at some screen, if a screen wasn’t showing some guys running after each other, killing each other or having sex I had no interest whatsoever in such a screen.

Kehinde did get me to play chess on his computer, a game that I loved so much; I later gave it up because it requires too much thinking and time, both were in short supply. I don’t care that it was regarded as a game for intellectuals, after all I never read anywhere that Socrates, Plato, St. Augustine, Rene Descartes, Pythagoras or any other well known philosopher played chess and not playing it, assuming they didn’t, did not make them any less intellectuals. It was also said to be good for military strategy, that would have been an excellent point except for the fact that I’m not a soldier so what good is a military strategy to me.

I did follow one of my friends, one of the best chess players in the world, Dapo Adu, to “blood” a couple of times at UNILAG, he was so into chess he could play blind folded and playing multiple opponents is no big feat to him.

So chess was the only thing I played on the computer and I had to ask Kehinde to get me to the program every time I felt like playing, a situation he found quite annoying since he took time to explain how to get to the program a number of times, I just never paid attention.

One day another friend of mine, Abideen Shittu, came to my office and proposed that we go into business. He figured that since my office was right in front of Sandgrouse Market on Lagos Island, a highly populated and busy area, a cyber café would be a worthwhile venture.

He brought two computers and we went to “hyperia” on Victoria Island to subscribe for internet service. That was the beginning of a lasting relationship between me and the computer, a relationship that is still subsisting since this article is being written on a computer; as a matter of fact I spend better part of everyday in front of it.

I was amazed at the amount of information the internet puts at one’s fingertips. It was so intriguing I got really addicted. It didn’t take me long before I discovered the dating sites and it was on MSN’s KALAHARI, which has since become a paid site, that I spent most of my time online, it was a chat room for blacks.

It is no longer a secret that people find love online, if the internet gave you a lady that you spend most of your waking hours thinking about, she probably wouldn’t like it because she probably was warned against meeting people online as it is full of weirdoes and the likes, do not hesitate to share your story.

I have met a couple of people who met their boy/girlfriends over the internet and subsequently got married and are still happily married till this day.

The internet shrunk the world, a lady in America could meet a gentleman in Germany and wedding bells might be what followed. I honestly do not see why people should be ashamed to say they met over the internet, people got to meet somewhere anyway and the internet is as good a venue as any other.

As to weirdoes, I wouldn’t say you can’t or won’t meet one but aren’t they everywhere and couldn’t you meet them everywhere as well as on the internet?

If you met a guy at a coffee shop what assurance do you have that because you met him at the coffee shop he won’t cut your throat? Does it make any difference that you met him at the club, or in the bus or at the bus stop or at your job or even on campus. Does the fact that a weirdo is your course mate remove the fact that if he’s alone with you he won’t kill you? Seung-Hui Cho was not an episode on the computer; he was a student just like some of the people he killed at Virginia Tech.

I read a story of two women who met this seemingly nice harmless guy at a bar. He bought them drinks and joked around for a little bit. When it was time to go home he asked one of the ladies for a ride and she obliged, after all he was the very nice guy that made them laugh and bought them drinks all night. She never made it home; he killed her in the car. They didn’t meet on the internet folks! Maybe you didn’t hear the story of a guy that killed his mother in law, that was a guy that was known by the mother in law for years yet, that did not stop him from killing her. Danger lurks everywhere, not just online.

The good and bad people we meet on the computers are the same good and bad people we meet in everyday life and weirdoes are everywhere, on the internet, at the bars, at the clubs, in the schools, at our jobs. It is the same people, good or bad, that get on the internet and chat with other good or bad people.

Just like you can’t tell who is a serial killer on the computer so is it impossible to tell who is a serial killer in real life. Meeting someone physically tells you nothing about their characters or dispositions.

The computer as a meeting point has its good and bad points just like meeting people via any other circumstances.

Some people might argue that it allows for predators to get to children, I won’t argue against such an assertion but before the advent of the internet and the dating sites these predators still got to the kids. When bad people are determined to execute their evil deeds they will find a way to do it. There have been sex predators before the internet, natural criminals will always find avenues to perpetrate their evil designs, the internet is just one of the many tools abused by them.

Some may argue that the internet makes it easier for couples to cheat on each other since it is easier to find “booty call” these days. People have been cheating on each other before the internet and will continue to do so regardless of the internet. I have met a couple of steadfast women online, women who will tell you outright that they are married, engaged or in a relationship and as such are not interested in talking dirty with you, see your cam or agree to meet you and I also have met women who will agree to have immediate sex with you irrespective of their status.

I know people, nice, educated and intelligent individuals, that I have never met physically such as the contributors on this website and others as well as the queens. I email and chat with these people as if I know them physically and when I don’t hear from them for a prolonged period of time I send them emails to find out how they are fairing. Some of them have given me valuable information and some of them do care than some people I have known physically for years.

The internet also makes it possible to keep in touch with family and friends who are thousands of miles away and if you have a webcam you can even talk, see and share photographs with them. Moving from one location to another is made easier by the internet. Paying bills is something you can do in the comfort of your home or apartment without extra cost. Applying for jobs is less strenuous with the use of the internet. Internet has also brought politicians closer to the people, a case in hand is the youtube debate where everyday people were given the opportunity of asking questions from politicians thereby bringing politicians closer to the needs of the people. If we can do all of these things online why shouldn’t we find love on there?

This article is not saying you should throw caution into the wind when meeting people online, as a matter of fact, you shouldn’t no matter where you met them, it is however my contention that weirdoes can be met anywhere.

If you have a lady that you have been chatting and fell in love with, if you had met and still chatting, if, each time you come home from work and other places, you head straight for the computer because you know your lady would be there waiting patiently for you to log on, do not be afraid to show your love and propose such as in the following conversation:

Him: Hello baby, sorry I’m late; it was hectic at the office today.

Her: (click on the audible that says: Welcome, I’ve been expecting you) Baby it’s ok, you don’t have to apologize, I’m glad you’re here now.

Him: You are so sweet, I really enjoyed your company yesterday, the whole place seemed so empty after you left, it’s becoming difficult to watch you leave.

Her: Honey, you know it’s always difficult for me to leave but then we have other responsibilities; I did enjoy your company too

Him: I don’t want to be talking to you on this cold, indifferent screen any more, I wish you are here now, I wish we are cuddling while watching movies or your popular programs on TV, I wish I am running my fingers through your hair, kissing, loving each other.

Her: I know baby, I wish we’re doing all that. Dang baby, seems like you are feeling so lonely tonight, are you ok or do you just want me to come over and keep you company for a while?

Him: and what purpose will that serve, I don’t like the “for a while” part of that statement, I don’t want you coming here only to leave again, I’m tired of watching you leave.

Her: Well sweetie, I don’t know what to tell you, I miss you too and I wish I am there with you right now and if you want I can jump in the car and come there to keep you company, maybe I should come and sleep over, what about that? (Inserted the winking emoticon)

Him: What purpose will that serve; you will be gone in the morning and might not be able to see me later tomorrow evening?

Her: (Inserted the emoticon, frowning) Baby, I really don’t know what to say, what do you want me to do?

Him: Come and stay with me, sleep and wake up with me, let me run your bath sometimes and you do the same for me, let us cook our meals together, read interesting part of whatever novel you are reading to me and ask me what I think about it, nudge me a little so I will stop snoring when my snoring is getting too loud and uncomfortable, call me to help you get something from the shelf, walk into my arms when you get home from work, take a walk in the park with me, argue with me about where we should hang our pictures, check out some houses with me so we can build a home together, let me remove that log from your eye while we drive to pick up the kids, go to the mall with me, let’s go grocery shopping together. Baby, you have been my computer love long enough, it is time to switch off these computers unless when we want to check out what pizza to order, MARRY ME! Please say yes

Her: (Inserted the audible “you make my heart melt, can I have my nose back please?”) Yes baby, yes, I will be your wife!

Inserted the audible “is it just me or is it getting really hot in here?” HAPPY MARRIED LIFE TO THOSE WHO FOUND LOVE ONLINE! I belief, I BELIEF!!!

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Nelly Avila May 24, 2009 - 6:57 am

I met my future husband on line you guys don’t have any idea how I feel everytime I chat with him, get butterflies in my tummy, I have not met him In person yut. Due to he lives very far I’m praying to God to brings us together.

Misskimrae March 10, 2008 - 7:39 pm

I am currently in this same situation; i have so much love for my computerlover that I can not explain, so any fears that I can not conquer but your article has reaffirmed my purpose what I have been feeling for this man I more than I have ever felt for any man I’ve know and I just want to say thank you so much for the words in your article.

Kia January 11, 2008 - 2:30 am

This is so perfect for me right now I am flying to China to meet my on-line love and we will get married if all goes well…..thanks I needed this artical….people have said alot of things to me to back me away, I was….. until I read this…….who ever you are I can’t thank you enough!!!!


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