First Date Sex

by Michael Ewetuga

When we were born we did not have any contaminated ideas in our heads, according to one of my lecturers when I was in the university, our minds as babies are “Tabula Rasa”. It doesn’t matter the color of a baby when you carry them they will smile at you because at that point they are yet to be told that one color is superior to another or that one race is superior to another or that one parent is poor or rich or one country more powerful than the other. I guess that is why Jesus said for us to see the kingdom of God we must be like little children.

As we grow older our parents, brothers, sisters et al will lecture us as to why we should not play with A or enter the house of B or be free with C. I will not go as much as to say this is baseless because some human beings are animals. Which parent in his right mind will allow his child to enter the house of a rapist or a pedophile or a drug addict? Sometimes some of the things taught to children about certain people are to protect them from sexual predators or people who could make a mess of their lives by merely associating with them.

There are rules when one is living in this world so as to keep one save from dangerous people, I don’t see anything wrong in teaching one’s children to beware of such animals in human skins. If people are generally good there would have been no need to shield our children from them

What I do consider criminal in the sense that such teachings perpetrate hate and discrimination is when we prevent our children from associating with certain people simply because of the color of their skins or their positions in life. Some parents have elevated money to the position of God and so will teach their children not to marry outside of their class and prejudiced people of course will teach their children not to associate with people of certain color and in some areas in Africa, where more than 90% of us are black people still lecture their children on the wisdom of not marrying people of a particular clan or ethnic group.

The trainings giving to boys are different from the ones giving to girls. Boys grow up believing it is ok to do some certain things while girls are brought up to believe doing some things, even if it’s ok for boys to do them, would bring them to disrepute.

Names are given to some acts as to give the impression that it is ok to do those things while another name is given to the same act as to give the impression that while it might not be ok to do those acts it is better if you do it provided you belong to a certain class. Take stealing for example. When you steal $100 bill you run the risk of being sent to prison but when you embezzle millions of dollars they might let you off the hook if you return part of the money. When you are an ordinary man on the street you steal when you are a member of the corporate world or the government you embezzle.

A woman who goes sleeping around, if she’s poor or from a poor family acts like a prostitute if rich or from a rich family she’s just a fun loving girl. When a man sleeps around with several women he is smart or referred to as the real man when a woman sleeps around she’s loose, a woman of easy virtue. Which brings me to the reason for the write up.

Men have been made to believe that a lady that opens her legs on the first date is not a lady that one should want to associate with because she’s loose, if she opens her legs on the first that then she’s a whore. Some men do believe this and act on it some don’t.

A lady’s virtue or otherwise should not be judged on how soon or how late she allows a man to have sex with her. Women, like men have feelings they are human beings and some of them are as sexually active as their male counterparts. Sexual indiscretion does not make a woman a bad woman neither does it make a woman a good woman.

Relationship should be based on love and compatibility any other considerations is the reason why relationships and marriages fail. When a relationship is based on money if there’s any misfortune along the way whoever married for money would exit the relationship in no time as the reason for being in that relationship has been defeated. When a relationship is based on sex once diminishing returns sets in whoever married or is in a relationship with the other for that purpose will be gone in a jiffy.

I have met ladies that I had sex with or made love to the first day who ended up keeping the relationship going because they have qualities that cannot be ignored, qualities that make sex or love making insignificant. What is the essence of being with a lady who would not allow you to have sex or make love to her but who have nothing to offer in terms of intelligence, affection or compassion?

One should not judge a lady based on when she opened her legs there are more to a good lady than what lies in between her legs as a matter of fact women who have nothing to offer other than their sexualities are the ones in most cases who would prevent you from having sex with them because that is the best, and in some cases the only card, they have to offer.

Most of the things, in terms of sex, that we take into consideration to label a woman are what society puts in our heads make a woman. Waiting forever to have sex is not going to make a dumb woman smart and having sex on first date is not going to make a smart woman dumb her brain is in her head her womanhood is between her legs they have no correlation.

Making a man wait forever before giving yourself to him is not going to make him love you if that’s all he wants from you, once he gets it, no matter how long you made him wait to get it, he would be gone anyway. Giving yourself to him the first day is not going to make him leave if in fact he really feels like you have some value that he admires.

Am I saying women should be promiscuous, of course not, not because it is bad in my view but because of the diseases ravaging the human society. If for the purpose of not coming down with some STD a woman is careful that is to be commended. However that should not be twisted as making one woman better and another worse. If you can have sex with her the first day then she’s not worse than you after all it takes two to tangle.

Another notion that I find quite amusing is when women say they want to know a man better before giving in to him, how would you know him better when you can only know what he wants you to know?

I have read story and I have seen people who sleep and went places with some women
pretending to be single when indeed they are married. Deception is not a game played by men only; there was an incident of a friend of mine who got married to his heartthrob only to discover there was no marriage at all because his “spouse” was still married to another man. This is not a story of a woman who took out divorce which she was under the erroneous impression had been granted, this is a woman who got married knowing that she was still married to another man.

In conclusion, we should stop deceiving ourselves that a woman who was reluctant to open her legs for a man is a better woman; a woman’s worth is in whom she really is not what is between her legs.

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Prince December 9, 2007 - 6:36 am

Nwa Chris you must be very stupid for writting all the rubbish up there. Let everybody express him or her self and le there be peace in the world. Mike, keep this up and let see more of these type of article.Let everybody be free and be free in deed.

henry madueke December 1, 2007 - 6:53 pm

well, sometimes we see sex as a normal thing,but i want to tell u that is not, but people belive that having sex can take you to another height,we should not deceive ourselves, sexis worth waiting, but incase you can not resist it, there is no other option than to use condom.

Rosie November 9, 2007 - 11:53 am

A brother with good reasoning skills.

Nwa Chris November 9, 2007 - 3:41 am

Another piece of filthy trash from a clearly diseased mind. If you have nothing sensible to write, why don't you go and have a good sleep? What point have you finally made after all the incoherent rambling? Your ignorance is so palpable here. When a man and woman starts "touching", they wuld stop "talking". And when they stop talking, they lose further opportunty to study and know each other better. That should be simple enough. It is only a foolish woman that would be swayed by your childish, drunken talk. A man may come to a woman with the sole intention of sleeping with her and moving on, but because, she denied him that, he may hang around her for a long time until he even discovers some virtues in her that he may cherish more than sexual immorality, and that could make him settle down with her. What if she had opened her leg for him on the first date? The way some of you talk about sex, it is as if one cannot live without it. I doubt if you are married, b/c if you ask some married couples, they will tell you that they sometimes stay a couple weeks without having sex! And yet they are very close with each other. There is this mutual cherishing of each other that is more pleasurable than sex. So what is all this noise about sex? Are we animals?

A woman's body is her honour, she should not cheapen it by giving it to anyone who starts associating with her, no matter what anyone looking for cheap sex comes here to write.

Of course, most women who are mature and experienced would see this piece as nothing but mere exasperating gibberish.


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