Go For A Medical Check Up If You Don’t Snore

by Dele Oluwole

Even though my non-capital intensive research is yet non conclusive, I am in no doubt that the UNO or the medical council of any country will approve it as I have not spent a penny in this personal study compared to the British National Hospital Service (NHS) that has spent millions of pounds sterling researching into how to combat snoring, they even have specialist ‘snoring’ hospital.

I started my research into the benefit(s) of snoring in 1997 and the interest began when on a particular night during a group reading session while preparing for a semester examination with a new female acquaintance. We where in a lecture hall with some other students, at about 2am my body did not just fail and I dozed off but treated my female friend and fellow students in the lecture hall to some melodious snoring tunes that could be likened to thesound of thecrane that demolished the Kubwa settlement in Abuja last year.The other students in the hall became uncomfortable and as they gestured and laughed my female friend had to stylishly and ‘technically’ wake me up. I became apprehensive not because the hall was filled with so many students but because my application for a date with my female friend was still pending and I felt the ‘bulldozer’ snoring sound I made may negate the success of the application. If you read on you will know if the application was successful.

What qualifies me as a researcher in ‘snoring’ despite having a master’s degree in computing? According to my dictionary, a researcher is a scholar who can, or will in time through learning and experience, demonstrate:

  • specialized knowledge or expertise, conceptual and intellectual capacities such as the ability to identify and frame key problems, to think critically and analytically, and to generate and communicate interesting and original insights.
  • research skills such as the ability to use sources effectively, to gather and organize information, to analyze text, data and theory.
  • personal attributes such as the ambition and ability to work to high standards, to take initiative and responsibility, to be well organized in one’s procedures and balanced in one’s judgements, to collaborate well with others where appropriate, and to take on board and incorporate constructive criticism.[1]

I have all the above so what else?

What qualifies my theory and makes me a notable theorist of the likes of Albert Bandura, Erving Goffman, and Lawrence Kohlberg even though I was born a year after Abraham Maslow’s death? My dictionary says theory is a framework for assumption-based logical reasoning.

Notable theorists of adult Learning and human resource development are Abraham Maslow, Albert Bandura, Donald A. Schon, Donald Kirkpatrick, Eduard C. Lindeman, Edward Lee Thorndike. I have been made to understand that some of them do not even have a master’s degree, so with due respect what makes their theories better than mine other than the fact that they popularise theirs some centuries ago?

Let me run you through the profiles of just three of the notable theorists; Abraham Maslow’s contributions include the Hierarchy of Needs. He is also considered the founder of Humanistic Psychology. Abraham was born on April 1, 1908. He earned a B.A. in Psychology in 1930 from City College of New York. He earned a M.A. in 1931 from Cornell University In addition, a Ph.D. in 1934 from the University of Wisconsin.

Albert Bandura was born December 4, 1925, in the small town of Mundare in northern Alberta, Canada. He received his bachelor’s degree in Psychology from the University of British Columbia in 1949. He went on to the University of Iowa, where he received his Ph.D. in 1952

Edward Lee Thorndike, was born in Williamsburg, Aug. 31, 1874, he was a major figure in several fields of psychology: learning theory, applied psychology, and mental measurement. [2] But he does not have a master’s degree.

Will the heavens fall if we include Dele Oluwole in the list of the notable theorists the world has ever known thus; “Dele Oluwole was born August –, 19–, in the small and beautiful town of Mushin in northern Mushin Olosha LGA of Lagos. He received his bachelor’s degree in Business Management from the famous University of Staffordshire England in 200-. He made the U-turn of a life time when he bagged an MSc in computing from Staffordshire University England, but he’s still working on his PhD in human anatomy and snoring therapy”. Will anybody question the audacity behind this encomium? After all charity they say begins at home, even though prophet has no honour except among his own kindred. Whether you like it or not I am a researcher plenipotentiary … ‘omo wa ni eje ose’.

My research into snoring is interesting because I have been able to collate primary and secondary data on instances where spouses slept in separate rooms in the house as a result of snoring just to avoid the other. My best friend’s wife vacated their room for the guest room the third day into their married life only for the husband to discover a month later that she snores like a rickety ‘Molue’ approaching the busy ‘eko idumota’ bus terminus. And to put salt on injury my friend made the discovery when they visited me and stayed in the guest room.

Even though no lecturer has agreed to supervise my research I have also discovered in the course of mapping the two snoring hypotheses that many couples are not happy sharing a bed because either spouse snore, even though investigation empirically shows that both of them snore as the research have investigated and postulated that only those who are unhealthily thin and lazy don’t snore.

My year 1997 female friend did not just accept the date that fateful day, we are still together, as my research continued I also discovered that she also like every other normal healthy human being, beautifully and wonderfully created by God does not just snore but treats me to some cat like sounds most night after a busy day at work or cooking at home, although she claimed she snore only when lying on her back but lets leave that to this research conclusion and recommendation that is expected in a few years time.

If you love your partner do not allow snoring to put you asunder and if you will ever want to call it quits because he or she snores, please put a tape recorder by your bed side to record if you snore or not or better still wait for the conclusion/recommendation of this humble and intelligent Nigerian researcher.


1. Port Postgraduate on line Research Training; http://port.igrs.sas.ac.uk/researcher.htm

2. Adult Learning & Human Resources Development Program, (1998-1999, 2000-2002) Virginia Polytechnic Institute and State University: http://www.nvc.vt.edu/alhrd/Theorists/theo~com.htm

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1 comment

halal3k@yahoo.com April 23, 2007 - 5:02 am

hahahaha…u are right about snoring.I tot it was only my cousins that snored, until complaints about mine came…in defence I rise to contest it, or most times, submit and accept the verdict.Have you found any anit-snoring recipe in your research yet cos it may help not a few marriages…and keep restless eyes closed so they can enjoy a good night sleep punctured by steccato snoring beats and rhythms.


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