Naija Notes: “Curiouser and Curiouser”

by Toni Kan Onwordi

The Greeks had a benediction they used to invoke on the young. It was a simple prayer: May you live in interesting times.

When I look around me now at all that’s going down in Nigeria, I look at my new born baby and smile, knowing that her young ears will be filled with exciting tales as soon as she is old enough to understand.

These have been interesting times, I tell you, for all of us living in Nigeria right about now. Like I said last week, the nation did not go up in smoke as nay-sayers had been implying. Infact, right now, politicians who stockpiled arms and ammunition must be making plans to ship them off to Congo, Ivory Coast, Liberia or one of those hot spots on the continent.

Is this God’s love or what?

Meanwhile, back at loser-ville:

Kris Okotie I understand has declared a seven-day fast to find out from God what went wrong. Ojukwu has gone to the shrine of Amadioha to investigate the cause of this “brazen robbery.” Ike Sanda Nwachukwu, not sure whether to invoke Ikenga or the gods of his mother’s people has accepted the results. Jim Nwobodo is so ashamed of his disgraceful loss that he is on exile in Abuja. And General Buhari having realized the folly of his call for mass action and mass boycott of state assembly elections has asked the ANPP supporters to come out and vote. (As if they needed him to ask them).

In the states: Ibrahim Lawal of Kwara state is wondering what will become of his family who had turned government into a personal enterprise, while Abubakar Audu of Kogi state has declared the babalawo who told him that ANNP will rule Kogi state for the 25 years wanted. In Ogun state, Osoba has said he will not attend Gbenga Daniel’s inauguration because of some funny reason no one cares about. And in Anambra state, I hear Mbadinju has been calling Audu Ogbeh to find out whether the Ambassadorial posting is still open.

In Kano, Ghali Naaba’s major headache is figuring out what his siblings will now call him. At the height of his powers he had ordered his siblings to call him Mr. Speaker. Alhaji, my humble suggestion: how about Mr. Ex-Speaker.

And finally, the fat man formerly known as Anyim Pius Anyim I hear has enrolled in a pastoral school. God indeed works in mysterious ways.


And before we end this session, let me just try to make sense out of this conundrum.

Still talking about winning and losing, former deputy governor of Osun state and awaiting trial inmate, Omisore won a senatorial seat from jail.

My friends and I had an argument over the issue and while I was rooting for Omisore and arguing that so many opposition politicians abroad had won elections from jail a friend told me that it was not the same: those foreign politicians he explained were prisoners of conscience, you know, political prisoners.

Omisore, on the other hand, my friend explained, is facing a criminal charge.

What’s that thing the say about the law?

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