Nigeria’s Last Virgins!

by Ugochukwu Ejinkeonye

If you are a parent or grandparent, whose children or grandchildren are enrolled in Nigerian schools, and you read this article, and decide that the current attempt by a tiny clique of clearly depraved minds within the nation’s educational system, to carefully disrobe Nigerian kids of their prized innocence and healthy mind and titillate them to perdition should not attract your unreserved indignation, conscious action, and, in fact, public outrage, then, just know that you are not qualified to answer a parent anymore. In fact, your children and grandchildren will certainly wake up one day to curse your memory for watching passively while some desperate fellows, for totally self-serving reasons, subjected their tender minds to vile and ungodly lessons that are carefully and solely designed to make them become animals in human skins.
A couple of months ago, when I was shown the topics to be treated under the subject called “Sexuality Education” or “Sex Education” which tender children in both junior and secondary schools in Lagos State are now being forced to learn, I could not imagine that anyone outside a mental home could be wicked enough to design a subject with such insidious contents, even for the kids of his worst enemy! In fact, as I think about it now, I consider the introduction of that subject in our schools the worst case of child abuse – brazenly endorsed by the nation’s education authorities and unleashed on today’s kids like a poisonous live snake. What kind of madness is this?  Mere kids, some as young as nine and ten, are put in the hands of teachers, who deploy every energy, talent and creativity to pollute and saturate their tender minds with every detail about sexual immorality, masturbation, contraceptives (like condom and pills), etc. And like I said here last week, I can imagine how easy it would become for a teacher who has been targeting a female student to use his creative elaboration of this subject, to get the girl so aroused she would become easy meat. My suspicion is that in many cases, what the teachers would be giving out would be targeted more at titillating their tender victims than educating them!
When this matter was debated on the TV programme, “Patito’s Gang,” recently, virtually all the participants wondered why a few people could take it upon themselves, to gather in one small room somewhere, and without adequate consultations with stakeholders, especially parents and even teachers, design such a vile subject, with far-reaching implications for the moral health of the nation. My brother, Reuben Abati, who moderated the discussions that day laboured so hard to sell the lame point about the need “to empower the kids with information,” so they could be in a position to make their choices.  
As Reuben recycled these well-worn, uninspiring arguments, I remembered a particular essay of his in The Guardian of Sunday of March 3, 2002, entitled, “Mrs. Atiku’s Search For Virgins”, where he thoroughly chastised Mrs. Amina Titi Atiku Abubakar, Vice President’s wife, for daring to say (in Reuben’s words) that, “one way of stopping the alarming spread of HIVAIDS scourge in our society is for mothers and each and everyone of us to discourage and avoid premarital sex.” Reuben sounded so offended by Mrs. Atiku’s suggestion that I began to wonder whether there was anything he stood gain by a possible “deregulation” of sexual immorality in Nigeria! Well, I began to get a clear picture of where he was coming from when he declared: “Mrs. Atiku wants virgins on our streets. Ah! Does she know the number of businesses that depend on premarital sex? … If Mrs. Atiku had been talking about safe sex, adolescent sexuality awareness programmes and general pubic enlightenment, that would have been fine. But to say people should avoid pre-marital sex, is simply revolutionary.” Yes, Reuben actually said that!
Well, Reuben is not alone in that camp. A few days after his article appeared in Nigeria, Mr. Andrew M. Mwenda published an article in The Monitor (Uganda’s leading newspaper – March 22, 2002) captioned: “Sexual Abstinence: Rubbish!” Said Wwenda in the piece: “To demand that a girl abstains from sex until she is married… is to impose an unbearable burden on our daughters.” I should think that Mr. Wwenda is raising his voice in support of some “liberated” women who always feel extremely pained each time the word “virginity” is mentioned. For them, such a word was merely invented by men to subjugate women, since, it is often used more in relation to women than to men. Now, I don’t intend this discourse to degenerate to a gender a war, and distract us from the more important issues we are trying to resolve here. I can only add that any girl who is swallowing such claptrap from her “liberated” aunties should first take a look at them, and ask herself whether her ambition is to end up like them. Yes, she should count the costs, because at the end of the day, reality, that ultimate unmasker of all self-deceptions, will discover everyone and hold aloft in broad daylight the relics of every misspent youth! Indeed we deceive ourselves when we try to play down the point that in any sexual misadventure, the woman is always at greater risk, and this has to do more with her peculiar anatomy than societal conditioning, as some feminists would have us believe. Wisdom should therefore dictate that she who faces the greater risk should exercise the greater caution! I have my suspicions about the intentions of these anti-virginity amazons. It even becomes more suspicious when some men, hiding under some dubious “woman friendly” credentials, also enlist in the anti-virginity army, especially, as it relates to women. My take is that before any girl elects to take these men serious, she should do herself a favour by pondering the plain words of David Thomas who once said: “If I were a woman, I would never trust men who say they are feminists.  Either they are acting out of guilt, trying to establish credentials, or they think they might be able to pick more girls. If I were a woman, I would say [to the men]: go away and have your first period.  Then come back and tell me you are a feminist.”
The reason behind the introduction of these destructive teachings in our schools, I am told, is to help children escape teenage pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, especially HIV/AIDS. The aim is to demystify fornication, give it positive image, as something to be cherished and enjoyed, without any fear, so long as it is done “safely”. The belief is that with the age-long “superstition” built around sexual immorality, a few straying kids tend to do it with fear, and in the process get into trouble.  But, unfortunately, by introducing these teachings, these fellows are playing with fire. The totally naïve confidence they have invested in the effectiveness of their “safe sex” is not backed by any facts. In their desperation to introduce the subject and rake in millions of naira from the books already written and printed on it, they forgot to consider the consequences of their actions – a fallout this nation may never recover from. It is a fact that these teachings have been introduced in both the United States and Britain for several years now. As I write now, I have before me, a BBC report saying that Britain has the highest record of teenage pregnancy in the whole of Western Europe. Also, another report has it that the United States has the highest number of teenage pregnancies in the Western world. Again, in the United States, where years of successful and effective campaign for the use of condom has yielded massive attitudinal change in favour of condom use, new infections of HIV are still on the increase. Why is Nigeria always eager to import programmes and policies that have failed in other nations? Just why?
The point we must note is that what these teachings have done, and are still doing, is to excite immoral curiosities in those kids and push them into more dangerous adventures. Try and interview the teachers who tea

ch this vile subject and be shocked by their narration of the vulgar excitement it produces in the nine and ten year-old babies on whom it is presently being inflicted. Ask the teachers, especially the mothers and fathers among them, whether they sincerely believe this subject would be in the best   interest of the pupils! Where is this nation really heading to? How do we  expect children to still concentrate on their studies when we saturate them with filthy teachings that only pollute their minds with lusts. As the nation encourages these babies to start having “sin-partners” at nine and ten, and indulging in “safe” unrestrained sex, what type of future leaders do we expect them to become? After “empowering”  them to go on rampage and experiment with “safe” indiscriminate sex or masturbation at will, wouldn’t we have succeeded in giving them a virus deadlier than AIDS?  Every decent minded person in this country should rise in fierce condemnation of this desperation to give our children enough light to light them to damnation. He must enlist in the coming big battle to eliminate this unambiguous satanic script from our school system. 
By the way, what is all this fetish about “safe” sex? Is there anything like that? Already, a lot of studies and findings have effectively punctured the dubious confidence that AIDS campaigners have for self-serving reasons built on condom. We know that when reduced to a very micro level, several objects, especially rubber and plastics, have tiny holes through which very minute micro organisms could pass. I read somewhere recently that “HIV virus is only 0.1 micron in size while the naturally occurring holes in a latex condom is of the order 5 to 50 microns in diameter.” Indeed, HIV is 500 times smaller than spermatozoa, yet research has established that spermatozoa are able to sometimes pass through the wall of a latex condom and cause pregnancy. Then tell me what happens with HIV? The example cited earlier of the worrisome rise in fresh infections of HIV in a place like the US despite the success of condom-use campaign would serve to buttress this point. So we better rouse ourselves from this lethal sleep and halt this brazen assault on public morality in the guise of protection of kids. Who knows who is inspiring this campaign? It is instructive that The Guardian on Sunday, July 18, 1999, carried a report that a cross section of American college (mostly female) students are regretting the limitless freedom their parents had taught them and are now pursuing a “no-sex” campaign. But in Nigeria in 2006, sex has been deregulated and democratized. What an abomination!
Right now, a serious regret is also seriously soaking the consciousness of the Western world, because of the moral wreck their children have become. But they are now helpless, because, it seems to have become too late, and things have got out of hand. They now wish they never gave a silly interpretation to freedom in their society at some point in their history and saved their children from becoming a little better than animals. But poor Nigerians, we are distinguished by our peculiar knack to gobble up everything Western, no matter how rotten. Go to the scummy pond called Nollywood, and ask them why they are going so wild and immoral, and the answer you will get is: That is how they do it in Hollywood. See what I mean?
But the question to ask is: to what extent should the state interfere in my life and family? Where does the state derive the authority to invade my home with pernicious teachings, and inflict them on my kids, just because I gave them my kid to educate in their schools? How I am sure that those who designed this subject are not moral wrecks themselves, who have a mission to poison society, and make everyone become like them? Must the state empower them to ruin the nation’s kids? I know Reuben has already hinted us about the commercial consideration in the project, but must they prosper at the expense of all we hold dear?  Indeed, I sincerely think the state has over-stepped its bounds, and must therefore be challenged. They can’t take over the roles, which only parents can perform well. If you want your children to become animals, gather them inside the (dis)comfort of  your home and teach them all the techniques of creative sexual immorality. Don’t hide under the cover of the state spread such a Euro-brewed pollution to other homes. You cannot claim to love the children of others more than the parents that gave birth to them.
I have made up my mind to oppose this surreptitious attempt by the state to teach my children what a few fellows gathered somewhere and formulated, which I consider very unhealthy for them. I don’t care what anyone says, or if I am called primitive, but I am totally and wholly against any attempt by anyone to pollute the minds of today’s youths and turn them to moral wrecks. For me, the struggle against this vile and obnoxious policy is just about to begin.

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Michelle Otutu March 30, 2007 - 11:03 am

it is obvious that not enough information was obtained

Chiddy December 14, 2006 - 12:59 pm

I love this article for a lot reasons.I'm 26 and a virgin.Yes,that unpopular word.I'm still one today because I'm a christian and I believe everything the bIble has to say.But I wasn't always a christian,I was a romantic first and thought the ideal way was to wait till marriage before sex.Anyway,my position is highly unpopular with peers(male and female) who think some marbles may be loose in my head for abstaining in this day and age.I have asked them what exactly they gained that I have not but none has the answer.

Anyway,I believe sex education should be taught in the schools but not in the way they're are taught today.I also believe that a male and female teaher should be in every class during each of these lessons.Call me a prude or whatever but the days are evil and we don't want anyone molesting our children from the high they got while teaching.Preaching condoms while excluding abstinence is wrong and the statistics on the rate of HIV infections makes that clear.There should be recommended level of information that should be pumped into children at every level.It is wrong to teach elementary school kids stuff that is meant for students in high school.Until this anomaly is corrected,we stand to reap the fruits of the pollution of the minds of our children.

Godwin Kwushue October 4, 2006 - 6:49 pm

Sex education could be good or bad ,it depends on what the content of the syllabus is.

Sex education has been put to good use in countries like Zambia and Uganda where the scourge of Aids disease was overwhelming.

The world health organization did acknowledged that the sex education campaign embarked upon by the government of Yoweri Museveni was a huge success as it has reduced the rate of spread of HIV by half. The message in Uganda is in three tiers; abstinence, if you can not abstain, use condom, if you are married remain faithful to your partner and these simple messages worked the magic.

For our teens in Nigerian it is nothing new, I could recall vividly that nurses from the family planning unit use to come to my high school in Oyo state twice a year, about twenty years ago to give lectures on sex education and field questions from most of us students who were in our teens. Those who had issues that cannot be addressed immediately where encouraged to pay then a visit at their clinic. The need for sex education can not be oversaid now that reckless sex brings about avoidable agony and early death.

Students should be taught that to be able to have safe sex you need to have necessary information about your partners HIV and hepatitis status if you do not have such information it is better you stay away. If you decide to be smart. or love with care by using condom you may be unlucky to have a partner who has only agreed grudgingly to use condom because you are insisting, condom may not be a guarantee as some male and female who seems not to believe in the use of condom has perfected ways to rip them apart with their sex organ depending on who is doing the thrusting. That is an accident that is fraught with increased pleasure and danger that has the potential of being fatal.

Sex education has served different purposes at different times, at a time it was meant to help prevent unwanted pregnancy and STD. However right now it is serving the purpose of helping people to avoid avoidable death.

If your teen son or daughter knows that reckless sex kills that individual has a choice to make, by making sex education available to our youth and by creating platform for victims of aids to tell the story of their pain and sorrow parents and policy makers are inadvertently instilling the spirit that elects abstinence.

Reply October 2, 2006 - 8:34 pm

I don't have children, so I can't say what my reaction would be to "sex education" but I do know that children today are inundated with all kinds of sexual images. They really can't make sense of this unless someone tells them what it means. I support sex education, but with limits. I think it should start with 13 year olds. The type of education should be made of scientific, moral, and social wellbeing components. This way, each child can come away with a sense of understanding that there is a time and place for everything. Banning sex education will demonize sex and you know children; once something is taboo, it holds all kinds of appeal. But then again, I will wait till I have children, maybe I will change my mind.

Akinola October 2, 2006 - 3:03 pm

Thank you for this article; sir. Thank you for being consistent. And thank you for pointing out the immoral position of writers such as Reuben on this sort of issue. I expected you to be as righteously indignant as you are on this issue, given your position on yet another display of immorality on the part of Agbani or whatever her name is. One of your fellow commentators on this page chose to assail your position in that case of Agbani, but I want you to know that he does not speak for most Nigerians on moral issues. You do! Let me leave you with a quote from your own article; a quote that basically encapsulates the success of worldwide movement of LIBERALISM:

"I consider the introduction of that subject in our schools the worst case of child abuse brazenly endorsed by the nation's education authorities and unleashed on today's kids like a poisonous live snake. What kind of madness is this? Mere kids, some as young as nine and ten, are put in the hands of teachers, who deploy every energy, talent and creativity to pollute and saturate their tender minds with every detail about sexual immorality, masturbation, contraceptives (like condom and pills), etc."

Thank you sir.

obi, USA October 1, 2006 - 4:42 pm

I must start by acknowledging the complexity of this issue. Your piece has some merit, but your posture is extremist. It is wrong for a handful of individuals to exposure our toddlers to sex education by whatever name, without advice from stakeholders. Parents on their part have a solemn duty to protect their children from such harms. Sex, as supported by science, is the most important way of contracting HIV. This fact is most relevant in developed countries, where the other means have been almost eliminated. In Nigeria, this is not so. We are all witnesses to the recent transfusion saga in Lagos University Teaching Hospital (LUTH). I need not remind us that LUTH is supposed to be one of the best medical centers in Nigeria. We can only imagine what is going on in private clinics run by the decent and not-so-decent qualified doctors, nurses, community health officers, community health extension workers, etc. Of course we have so many institutions run by quacks of all categories. I know with certainty that most health centers simply wash and immerse their instruments in bleach and dettol solutions. It is not important if the bleach or dettol are fake, or if the concentrations are right. Our salons are not regulated as it is done in serious countries. Most salon operators are illiterates. I can go on forever. I went to this extent to demonstrate that the Nigerian HIV problem is much bigger than abstinence, virginity, condoms, sex education, etc. This will form the thrust of my contribution. Sexuality education will be left for another "symposium" as Fela would say. We have failed collectively and privately at this campaign. What we see everday are people trying to impose their religious and cultural beliefs on others. Others are in it for the money they can steal. The questions should be: are there merits in the options (abstinence, condom use, etc), what are the chances that everybody will embrace abstinence, what risks will the infected pose to the society (at the salons, to health workers, other patients, etc), and so on. It should be obvious that we will never get a concensus on these issues. So, what should we do? We need to develop programs for every segment of the society: abstinence for the religious, condom use for the liberals, regulation of activities in the hospitals, salons and other places. This may be the only way to contain the disaster. We stand to gain nothing from adopting extreme positions. It is not likely that Ejinkeonye's preaching will stop our people from having pre-marital sex. It may help though in reducing the incidence, which will be fine. Some parents are stretched to their limits. To feed their families, they need to work all day. Things were different in the past. We all know what has changed. Our people are too poor. Religious bodies are quick to condemn delinquency in our society. I wish they could condemn with equal fervor, the chief cause of the situation: corruption in government. I cannot condemn all religious leaders, but some of them have failed woefully in these respects. How else can we explain situations where churches accept huge donations from our public servants, who are in active service and obviously living lives that are not supported by their salaries and benefits. We haven't started this battle. To start, we need to ignore these programs being sponsored by the Western countries through NACA, NGOs and other agencies. We have do our own needs assessment. Lastly, may somebody explain to me why HIV is not so much a problem in the developed countries as it is in sub-saharan Africa. I read a report in TIME about many people that have lived with the disease for decades. Who is fooling who? We need affordable drugs, clean and safe environment, adequate nutrition, home-grown prevention programs using reasonable international benchmarks, etc. As it is, we have lost too much time by engaging in meaningless debates.

Dr Chukwuweta Onuora October 1, 2006 - 3:49 pm

Dear sir,

Thank you for your write up. I suggest that you see the Integrated Science teacher in the public school nearest to you and ask for the teacher's guide. It is horrible. The teachers are to teach students how to masturbate and use chemical contraceptives (designed for women in their 30s). Also they are supposed to teach our children that teachings of Islam and Christianity on issues like pre-marital sex, contraception, homosexuality, abortion and gender relations are mere opinions and myths! The teachers guide also lays a big emphasis on values clarification, this will allow your teenage child decide which moral values to chose since the ones you and I teach them at home are options.

I hope the minister of education has seen this rubbish. Her silence is deafening.

Concerned Parent October 1, 2006 - 3:46 pm

Opinion Article in THE GUARDIAN, Friday, 29 September 2006


Concerning Sex And Virginity

By Regina Onu

PERMIT me to comment on the article which appeared in your widely read daily The Guardian of Wednesday, July 19, 2006, titled: "Sex and Virginity scandal in Africa", by one Mr. Leo Igwe. The article is quite revealing. Revealing in the sense that, here is an individual trying to make a case for the use of Condom as against Virginity and Abstinence as a way out of the HIV/AIDS pandemic.

His distinction between females of "the village era", and the era of those of the "age of feminine/women's right, liberation and emancipation", is equally revealing. Times have changed, what with the technological and information advancements witnessed in this 21st century. Women are better informed and free to aspire to the utmost height more than ever before. One thing that has not changed though, since the creation of mother-earth, is the biological constitution of human beings.

The emancipated man and woman of today are in no way different biologically, from their first parents – Adam and Eve, despite the dynamism associated with time. The same types of hormone that circulated in the parent bodies of Adam and Eve still circulated in human bodies even in the so-called "era of female rights, liberation, and emancipation. In the "Village Era" also, cases of promiscuity were recorded, though not as rampant as it is now, because then, there were checks and taboos as against the very permissive world we now live in.

The point being driven home so far, is that nothing has really changed per se. It is always good to stick to what is right, no matter the odds. In this permissive world of ours, virtuous life seems to be a forgotten issue for the majority who tries to explain off everything and so Igwe's article, to me, is simply an energy dissipated at justifying the wrong. Experience has shown that the use of condom and some other family planning methods have moral implications and complications, and their effectiveness is questionable. Among the various complications that may result from the use of condom are:

Infection during its application

The condom may accidentally burst;

It may slip off.

It may slip into the upper one third vagina, which may require a mechanical device to get it out;

While in the vagina, it constitutes a foreign body and nature will usually device a means of getting rid of it by way of vaginal discharge.

Other gynecological problems like pelvic inflammatory disease (PID),

inflammation of the fallopian tubes (salpingitis) and infertility may also ensue. Abstinence for the unmarried is the only single 100 per cent safety measure against unwanted pregnancy, HIV/AIDS and other sexually transmitted infections (STIs). For married couples, each partner is to remain faithful to the other. Abstinence is easy to imbibe at no risk and at no cost whatsoever. It is achievable by all and induces peace of mind and body.

Sex is an act meant for the married. Sex outside marriage is a deviation from moral norms and therefore sin. Sex is sacred and must not be abused by engaging in the act outside wedlock. Promoting the use of condom therefore is encouraging promiscuity. There is no denying the fact. Purity of body and mind glows like the morning sun. Virginity is a thing of great honour. It is an invaluable treasure that does not tarnish rather, it improves in value with time.

Virginity is not old fashioned, as perpetrators of vices may want to say in order to use it as a weapon to buttress their case. Virginity is pleasing to God Almighty; this is the reason He has chosen to dwell in such bodies (our bodies are the temple of God and we are enjoined to keep them holy). Is it any wonder then, that the Almighty God chose the sinless Virgin. Our Blessed Mother, Virgin Mary, to be the Mother of His only begotten Son, our Lord Jesus Christ?

It is a baseless argument to state that virginity ends with marriage! Where else is it supposed to be consummated? If eventually one does not get married, as not everyone is cut out for marriage, one can remain single and live a virtuous life. Leaving a holy life is noble and earns one heaven. Individuals, groups, and the news media, should refrain from spreading the erroneous slogan that condom is the answer to the control of sexually transmitted infections. The tabloid and the electronic news media must begin to positively emphasise moral virtues and condemn vices. They should do away with negative publicity. No good parent will encourage the child to use condom. If there is ever such a parent, he or she has failed in his or her duty to teach the child the way he should go.

Promotion of pornographic films and musical videos should also stop, as they don't improve the mind. These films and videos must be properly censored before airing them. It is common knowledge that women now stay longer before marriage because of the time spent pursuing university education, but the assertion that this will lead to their going to bed with different men including sugar daddies, in search of the right man, is wrong and therefore the use of condom is not an issue here. What Igwe didn't say though, is the resultant effect of this method of getting a husband. Unwanted pregnancies, abortions, dissolution of good marriages, infection, and infertility are some of the results of reckless sexual engagements.

When eventually a husband shows up, getting a child becomes difficult. In their desperation, they become shopping Christians, running from one church to the other, and from one prayer house to the other. Granted, not all cases of infertility are due to promiscuity, but majority are traceable to it. The right way to search for a life partner is through prayers to the greatest matchmaker – the Almighty God. Courtship however, is a period of getting to know each other's character, temperament, inclinations and life style. Courtship is never a period for indulging in sexual acts with a total stranger.

Man is created in the image and likeness of God. God is pure and Holy and such are human beings expected to be. With efforts and His grace, we can all achieve purity and holiness. Parents are encouraged to work harder on their children by devoting more time to them and inculcating in them good moral doctrines. Schools should build on these values by teaching them and monitoring these children. They should encourage healthy rivalry within and among schools by way of literary activities, sporting events etc, to keep them engaged and to avoid occasion of sin.

Civilisation and exposure do not mean moral decadence. Human dignity should not be toyed with. Let us pursue the ultimate – which includes purity and abstinence before marriage, and for married couples to remain ever faithful to each other. On this framework is a nation's survival built. President Bush fully realises this fact, hence he is now advocating for abstinence. Must Africa get down to a deplorably low level of moral decadence before making a u-turn to good morals and virtues? Africa is known to be the poorest continent in the world and we should not be seen to compound our problems.

A nation that is poised for progress must have its citizens rightly focused on the positive march. With collective efforts, we can achieve purity and holiness, since all that is required to acquire these virtues, is the will to do so which invariably attracts Divine enabling grace.

Mrs. Coralia Sanuade October 1, 2006 - 8:21 am

I'm married to a nigerian and we live in the UK.

Our children have "sex ed." at there schools and when they come home we always check with them about what they learned wile away.

It's our responsability to teach our children about morality and sexuality.

Children of primary or secundary school age are not mentaly or phisicaly ready to learn about sex.

MR.Ejinkeonye is abslutly correct in his condmenation. My aplause and my thanks to him.


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