Within the southern community it is not uncommon for a man to stare at a woman’s bosoms or buttocks; it is not uncommon to comment about the beauty of a woman’s physique and it is also not uncommon to express sexual intentions without the woman taking offense. This attitude is not about a lapse in morality or about moral decadence; or about a perversion of any sort. No. The south is simply more open, more accepting and more gregarious. Globalization and western education is more pronounced here.
But a mile or two up north, the community is somewhat conservative and reserve in all matters sex. They enjoy and engage in sexual activities as much as the south, but are given to this air of moral superiority and have the tendency to clothe most, if not everything, in religious and cultural dressings. In other words, religion and cultural factors are more pronounced here. But I make no judgment or offer any verdict regarding the sexual attitude or practice of the North and or of the South. Only an observation!
In the North or in the South, the men lead the way especially in politics and governance. And sex. Until recently, sex was primarily for procreation and for the benefit and pleasure of men. And very few men paid attention to the feelings and satisfaction of women. The women were expected to just lie there and take it and be grateful. And they did; until recently when the wind of change blew across the country one city and one village at a time. To varying degree, there is sex in the air; the scent of women permeates the air wherever one goes. The aroma is distinct.
Formal and informal sex education, feminist movements, western non-governmental organizations, globalization, Playboy and Penthouse magazines and other pornographic newsletters and movies and mainstream
It is not uncommon for Nigerian men to prospect for wives back in
This may be true for some; but the vast majorities are lying. These are men who have slept with, used and abused and then abandoned the girls for the supposed greenhorns back in
It can be unsettling and disrespectful and ego busting to the Nigerian male to know that his wife or girlfriend sometimes need the services of a vibrator or a dildo. But they are not likely to complain if their non-African partners use such complementary devices. Dildos and vibrators come in many colors and shapes and sizes. They can be handheld, battery operated or eclectic operated. In most cases, these devices make a man a non-factor in the bedroom. Some men can last an hour before expiring; these devices last all night long.
From Seattle to Miami and from DC to Houston and everywhere in between, I have yet to meet a Nigerian male who will admit, privately or publicly, to sucking his wife’s toes or engage in other bliss-inducing sexual practices. Yet, they will readily and freely do it to their non-African partners. And Nigerian women who engage in or desire such practices are labeled “spoilt” and will have their reputation dragged through a raging cesspool of excrements. But really, toe-sucking, clitoris licking and the licking and sucking of other body parts should not be considered offensive.
Sex between two loving and consenting adult is breathtaking. It has the ability to alter ones minds and perception (for the good). But if you listen to the Nigerian women talk, you will hear them tell you how unsure, how incompetent and how unsatisfying most Nigerian men are. They will tell you that most will not even hug or spoon after lovemaking; that most do not know how to kiss mouth to mouth or mouth on other places; and that most have no concept of foreplay. In and out and off to sleep they usually go.
They will tell you that most men still think of sex as procreation tool. And nothing more. If all the aforementioned allegations are true how then do Nigerian men manage with non-Nigerian women who want this and that and that and this and everything possible and impossible? I wonder!