Umaru Resign? I Don’t Zhinki So!

So now everybody and their mama want to formulate type, reproduce and autograph petitions?

So now all and sundry want “Dear leader” to resign? I don’t zhinki so!
In a rapidly evolving and technologically superior country such as ours, we need not tamper with consistency. After all, you have been enthroned by a duty to rule, I mean inspired to serve, you have been conceptual; you have been a communicative leader, full of bounce, discerned and resolute.

Who else will lead this great nation of clout, this great dominion, ready to advance as a world class authority?

Besides, inconsistency will be a recipe for disaster. Your adversaries are alarmists and carpetbaggers, they couldn’t do it when you were up, now they want to remove the drip and turn off the monitor, how abominable. Look at them jostling and meandering, positioning and politicking.

We are Africans, we lack everything, but we have compassion, not like these barefaced western people, who want to kick the “Cablinasian” golfer when he is down.

All for what? 10 extra piece of side action, THE GREEN EYED MONSTER, the envy, One minute he is the hero, the next he is the worst since, what else? Mike Tyson? Did anyone ever asked “Eldrick Tont” If he was preparing for the Islamic demands, such as allowing 4, if you can afford it. Perhaps “Tont” was being persnickety in getting to the magic number of 4; perhaps “Eldrick” was a Muslim.

What is wrong with this people?

Back to the son of the great “Mutawallen”, so they want to kick you when you are down, I find this rather egregious. The blind, you see cant lose the one eyed.

When you used all your acumen together with your analytical chemistry background to pull us out of existential lassitude, they didn’t praise you, when you used the magic formula that worked so well in the great Katsina emirate, they were blasé.

Now they want to create chaos in the dominion. The dominion of law and order, the dominion that has, clearly written constitution, of clearly written plans of succession, Of clearly defined roles, of clearly defined rules governing the absence of the president or the Vice (Indeed), or the senate president and whatnot.

I hope one of the superior hospitals that you gave us here in Nigeria is taking care of you sir. Oh, I’m sorry you’re in “Saudi” anyway I’ve been told Nigerian doctors have been going there since the late 70,s, I hope they take good care of you?

You’re being taken care of by foreign doctors? It doesn’t matter, humankind generally (Especially doctors) are kind people. If you need Nigerian doctors in Saudi for issues only of patriotism, they are a plenty in Riyadh.

Like Allstate, you are in safe hands. The Saudis spent billions on Education, Infrastructure and of course HEALTH CARE!

I don’t zhinki so, because it is cowardly to beat you when you are down, I don’t zhinki so because you have done a great job taking the great leap into the 21st century, taking Nigeria with you on that great leap. If you resign, the delicate and fragile consistency of inconsistencies will be broken.

It is better for you to get better, then your detractors can carry go as they did when you were sanguine, awake and alert. Let them finish the job they started when you are lucid.
This is why I pray you get better, I pray you do.

Then the fight to get Nigeria back, fighting you vis-à-vis can continue FAIRLY. The elites that were bravely fighting you, putting all their investments at risk, the opposition that was not seeking contracts through back door channels, the mafia that was openly criticizing you, can then resume their fights FAIRLY.

The newspaper publishers that were openly allowing your critique, the ministers that were dissenting during Executive meetings, the senators of your own party that were openly castigating you, the governors that threatened to resign if you didn’t refocus efforts back to the people, let them continue when you wake.

Kicking you when you are down, I don’t zhinki so!

It makes them look less of men. The cynic in me says prime time for meaningless power jostle, power repositioning, back room negotiations, cases to be dismissed, ethnicity being used again as excuses for edacious motives. This why I’m skeptical, like it was Ok for Eldrick to be Eldrick, next minute, he’s a nobody. Can you say credibility gap?

30 years ago when your brother and the Owu commander were in charge, we used to get our post on time, we used to trust the post office, it used to run OK, not fine but OK.
I say this because they said the first sign of development is to mail yourself a letter, if you get it moderately fast unhampered, the mail your yourself a parcel if the results are the same, they said it means the country is developed.

I was told consistent and reliable post delivery meant, good communication systems, commendable transportation systems, reliable power. I was told you had started an aggressive program for the overhauling of these systems, are you not going to finish it.

30 years ago when the above mention duos were in charge we had a respectable landline telephony system, until mobile telephony came and gave us an illusion of development.
I heard you were almost done concluding its overhaul.

Again 30 years ago when uncle Shehu and uncle Aremu were in charge, they benefited from our world renowned drinking water, its safety, its quality, its cleanliness.

They said it had decayed and you had almost finished the job of bringing it back to its old glory?

Resign? I don’t zhinki so!

Bring yourself back to glory