Valentine’s Day…Still Looking for Love

Right around this time last year, I lamented the fact that Valentine’s Day, like all other holidays in the United States, had become commercialized. My lamentation aside, I was hoping to be propositioned by a most beautiful girl who would tell me how much she really wanted me, and how much she really loved me. I didn’t want roses, I didn’t want diamonds; all I wanted was for her to tell me she couldn’t live without me or that her life would be incomplete without me. I wanted to know that I was the wind beneath her wings, the only sugar in her cup of coffee, the only pepper in her pepper-soup, and that I was the only star in her sky. But it never happened. One year later, I am still waiting.

Why do I have to wait this long for the “it” woman to come into my world. Why? You see, not just any woman would do. She must be a 10, a perfect 10 in every way and on all scale of measurement. I know she is out there looking, looking for me. She just hasn’t found me, yet. But am here…waiting for her to discover me, to chase me and then throw her self at my feet.

In case you are wondering what my attributes are and what I will bring to the table, well, you need not worry. You see, being me is enough. My presence is enough. I am a gift all by myself. I, me and myself is all a woman really needs. Nothing more! When you’ve done the things I have done, seen the things I have seen, and been where I have been, you’ll truly begin to get it and appreciate where I am coming from. It is not easy being me, you know. Men like me don’t come around that often.

Let me digress a bit: the last time I was in Houston, Texas I saw this damsel. It was at a New Year party given by a Nigerian family. But unfortunately, she didn’t see me. If she had, I am sure she would have thrown herself at me. Describing her would take too much of my time, so let me just say she was up there, a 7 perhaps. The content and flow of her mind and her worldview would have made her a 10. Ones Weltanschauung — the overall perspective from which one sees and interprets the world, the collection of beliefs about life and the universe — matters to me. But since we didn’t get to interact, I couldn’t tell, I couldn’t ten her. However, she had this incandescent quality about her.

And now back to the issue of love and valentine. It took me forever to buy flowers for women. Damn! You spend fifty dollars on flowers, four days later they shrivel and dry out and die. It also cost a little fortune to buy cards and flowers and chocolate and a decent bottle of wine. You do all these just for the end game? I’d rather just go to the end game (which is quick and better and without all the fanfare).Send me a card or email me or call me if you have my number. Make your case. On this Valentine Day, as in earlier Valentine’s Day, I am looking forward to being chased by the most beautiful woman there ever is. So, if you are…talk to me…I will make space for you in my heart and in my world. On this Valentine’s Day just tell me that you love me. That’s all I want.

Latest Posts

The Insult That Led to the Creation of Osun State

Osun State was created thirty-five years ago, but what...

Hello! Be Wise As The Campaigns Begin

Barring any divine intervention, and never ruling out the...

Nigeria Is Dying In Bondage

The calls came to me in quick succession -...

Call Me Tony: A Parable of Corporate Nigeria

By Temitope Lakisokun The argument over the young trainee who...

Don't miss

Nigerian Men and their Foreign Wives

Culturally, Nigerian men are overbearing, controlling, and paternalistic.  They relate to their fathers and mothers differently. They believe it is “a man’s world” and so they have the tendency to relegate women to subservient roles. I am stunned by the transformation Nigerian men, married to non-Nigerian women, have gone through in the United States...

Is Genevieve Nnaji Nigeria’s First Movie Superstar?

What is this Nnaji mystique that has her audience colliding heads so joyfully, crawling, craving some time in her sun? Star quality is what it is. The amount of talent dripping from her little finger is more than many of our other female leading ladies have combined...

Why Do African Men Go Home to Marry?

The African male is perplexing. He can be enigmatic. He can be everything and sometimes, nothing. He can be sweet and loving and caring and benevolent and at the same time oppressive. His life is full of contradictions. In so many ways, he is a wounded animal as a result of his historical past...

Mobil’s Oily Battle Over Intellectual Property Rights

The eight-year long battle between Commandclem Nigeria Limited and Mobil Producing Nigeria Limited, over ownership of patent and intellectual rights to a chemical invention for offshore drilling seems in sight…

Lost in a Sea of Hair Weaves

One can understand some black women wearing wigs for the same reasons that some white women do; because they are losing or have lost their hair. One can even make allowances for wigs being worn for the occasional change of look. But how to explain young women with full heads of hair who will never be seen dead with their natural hair?
Sabella Ogbobode Abidde
Sabella Ogbobode Abidde
Please, do not ask me about religion. I get the evil look every time I tell people I am an agnostic who teeters on atheism. My world resolves around ethics and the rule of law. That’s it. I have no use for religion: religious convictions are not part of my existence -- the laws of man are good enough for me. I have lived in several cities: Seattle, Miami, Norman, Minneapolis-Saint Paul, Saint Cloud, the District of Columbia, Houston, and Mankato. I am not sure where I am going to live next. And I have never really had a profession, only jobs: been a cook, a dishwasher, a civil servant, house cleaner, university instructor and researcher and so on and so forth. Every so often I get questions concerning the role and place of the African woman. Well, I don’t know; at least not with any certainty. What seems to work best is when both partners work as a team: cooperate, coordinate and collaborate their marital efforts. And they should be mindful of the insidious effect of modernization on the African family.

9 COMMENTS

  1. OOOO I rate this excellent for humour! It is a good thing you aren't serious bout all this! I love a man wit a sense of humour…and for the record…being me…is more than good enough 😉

  2. Uh Sabella I've read a lot of you material in the aspect of relationships. Me thinks an internal audit might help you on ur way to getting the perfect score.

    I am curious as to how many desperately seeking susans responded to your personal ad. You would do better however to join one of those exclusive speed dating clubs. I understand the men have to have incomes/assets or an inheritance well above 2 million and all the women have to be is drop dead gorgeous.

  3. Perhaps you might try being a bit more humble and a lot less demanding. When we set super high expectations the chance that they will be met are super small. When people ask me what type of man I like; I say that I will know him when I see him You see that way I won't miss the one that is perfect for me because I am looking for a perfect 10.

  4. Sabella my brother,

    Perhaps like that urban cowboy,in that country song by Waylon Jennings, you have been looking for love in all the wrong places and in all the wrong faces 🙂

    Anyhow, may you and that perfect 10 soul mate of yours find each other…reeaaaaaaaaaall sooooooon!

    Best regards and happy valentines.

    BD

  5. Sabella, This Valentine Day may perchance bring you the love you are waiting for… you may find "her" just round the corner… also waiting for you

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here