Wannabe Politician

by Uche Nworah

What is Nigeria turning into? I’m not sure I really understand the whole political craze amongst our folks; I thought that we are gradually moving into the ‘ideal only zone’ in Nigerian politics, but apparently some of us are still stuck in the past.

I don’t know what to make of this unsolicited email, from someone I do not know but whom I chose to call a ‘new breed’ politician, though not in the mould of IBB’s original thinking when he unleashed the phrase on Nigerians during his hanky-panky social re-engineering and political transition process. This guy is a ‘new breed’ politician because he is exploiting technology (the internet) in his quest to fulfil his ambition, by sending emails to strangers in his efforts to raise funds for his campaign.

He question’s his future opponent’s inclination to seek for godfathers and sponsors but forgets that his email amounts to nothing other than a simple request for me or who ever will fall for his bait to be his godfather.

Our holier-than-thou ‘wanabe politician’ detests fraud or so he claims but still promises to re-imburse me, (assuming I sponsor him) after only 3 months as a local government councillor, you will be wondering then where the money will come from if not from government treasury. He is asking for N400, 000 but then, in retrospect I’m not sure that he is well in tune with the demands of politics in Nigeria, where has he heard that elections are won with such miserly sum? An amount that is not even enough to fuel the buses that hired political thugs will ride on during the electioneering campaign.

Is this guy for real or is he play acting? That his Maza Maza address sounds fishy to me, if I remember right, that’s the place opposite Festac Town in Lagos where my Igbo brothers sell tokunbo cars and ferry folks on luxury buses (night and day) down to the east.

See me see my local problem o! He adores Orji Kalu and wants me to forward his request to the governor, as if I hang out with the ‘strong man’ of Abia state, a man I have critiqued severally as a result of his government’s neglect of my beloved city – Aba.

And the surname – Neid, sounds more like an Oyibo name to me. Probably a con man then or?

His letter, unedited reads:

7 orifin street,
Maza maza, lagos,
3rd March, 2006.

Dear sir


This leeter may have come to you by surprise, but if I may say, it is the work of the Almighty God that connect me to you. I am a young man of 30 years old, a christian who hail from Ebu town in Oshimili Local Governmet Area of Delta State, South South Nigeria. Sir I loved to be like you in politics and intend to contest for the position of a councillor in my ward Ebu (ward 2)

As you know the primary election comes up later this year in the month of march 2006 and every body in my ward are all behind me if only i can meet up the expenses involves. They all promise and counted on me as their choice due to my character and behaviour. But there are some greedy ones who believes they will sponsored their partners in crime so that if their candidate win, they control all the contract and allocation within themselves and forget about the mases, because they call it investement.

Though you did not know me in person, and before God and man I am not a fraud or 419. I believe that God in His mercy and blessing can used you to help actuallise my dream in life. I am aware of the EFCC and crime fighters in Nigeria so i did not intend to fraud you and if i do what will it profit me to gain the whole world and looses my soul.

If you wish to investigate or make enquiry about me please feel free to do so because you need to know more about who you want to help and if you need all information about me do not hesitate to let me know.
The amount needed for the campaign is about #400,000 and i promise to pay back after 3 months in office.

I will be very grateful not only to hear from you but to know you in person so as to always look up to you and if possible take you as my political God father, but remember this is my only chance and i cannot afford to loose it just as they say opportunity comes but ones.

I wii be happy to see you by my side the day i will be sworn inn as the next councillor of my ward comes Jan., 2007 at Aku kwu Igbo the headquater of Oshimili Local Govt. Area of Delta State.

Sir i will appreciate your effort if you can help for this leeter to reach the excelleccy chief Dr Orji Uzor Kalu. for it has been long i am seeking to get his contact, because hearing from him i know my dream will come to pass.

Moreso tell him that we love him and admires his courage and by his devine favour he will be there. Thank you very much for your understanding and looking forwad for your favourable reply.

Yours Sincerelly,
Hon Barrister Ahmed Neid


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prince kennedy Iyoha March 15, 2006 - 7:29 am

This youngmans letter, is difficult to understand. in the first place, he is accusing his co-candidates as criminals, and that they have intentions to keep his local governments allocated money within themselves and forget about the mases.

Yet he is promising to paying back the sum of N400.000,OO in three mouths after asuming office.

He also made mention of his knowledge of the EFCC and crime fighters in Nigeria. If this youngman cannot affored to feed himself three times daily, how in Gods name can he formulate policies that can improve the life of his people?, and if he dont have N400.000,00 now, for campaign, where is he going to unearth the N400.000,00 three mouths in office?, it's like wonders will never end in obodo Nigeria.

Anonymous March 14, 2006 - 4:13 pm

"Hon"? "Barrister"? Ahmed Neid? at "myway"? (take note of who's way) smells like a 419, writes like a 419, sounds like a 419, promises like a 419, has names like a 419, his grammar and spellings are of 419 origin, …. therefore he must be a 419!

Anonymous March 13, 2006 - 10:22 am

hey young man keep ur 419 letters to urself..are u suffering from writer's block? What is ur problem?


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