Taju Tijani

Tijani lives in London. His blog.

Sort by: Latest / Likes / Comments / Random

Recently, a mound of evidence emerged of dumb Dame Patience Jonathan’s ugly descent into gratuitous attack on Reuben Abati over his arse-kissing type of image laundering. The unspeakably powerful wife of the president is not a woman who respects piety, formality of language and the incomparable intellectual chasm between her and Reuben Abati…

Diesel Otedola is the kind of Homo erectus we love to adulate, glorify and celebrate in our classrooms, business discussions, the Internet, homes and even in the midst of enlightened, robust discourse. This tall, young, dark, handsome man is among Nigeria’s wealthiest 100. From childhood, the Nigerian society has bred into his bones its own belief in social and political mobility. He has been taught that wealth attracts positive attention, universal respect, unmerited privileges, consideration, affection, friendship and congratulation from the president…

The Rich List 2012 passed the test of prediction. I am yet to be formally declared a prophet. My confident intuition paid off. Pages after pages, I saw smiling white faces. Some caressing their yachts moored on the Pacific oceans. They look robust, real and ready. They look beautiful, bouncy, bright and brilliant. Why not? They are the risk-taking, movers and shakers of this sceptre isle called Britain…

Though Jonathan is the president, yet he could not break out of the gravity pull of the biggest political rascals in Africa. Biggest party – what an infuriating pride! Now, Jonathan has wagon his presidential destiny to that of his newly elected chairman…

To salvage my ebbing ego, I became a reluctant conscript into the platoon of online glory seekers called Facebookers. To many starry-eyed and bewitched fame seekers, Facebook is a hot platform. To me it is over-rated, over-bearing, intrusive, gossipy, divisive, controlling, thought numbing, marketing-oriented, immoral, crowded and addictive…

The romanticisation of Jonathan’s shoeless past and the ongoing spin on his underclass and underdog antecedents have continued to engender a kind of sympathetic solidarity in the consciousness of many Nigerians. But beyond the overkill, we have the unconvinced advocates of pessimism who see Jonathan as a fraud…

As head of the Aso Rock media high command and undoubetedly its fugleman in the black arts of spin doctoring, Reuben Abati failed woefully in the way he communicated with the public during Jonathan’s worst and fractious week in government…

The onset of a primordialised Nigeria held captive by a retrograde strain of theomanic Boko Haram should offer us a broader discursive narrative of the fiction of our oneness…

‘No, I no go forgive. I be proper Ibo woman. PA said that he wants to be like Jesus so somebody who wants to be like Jesus they look for trouble with his satire…no, I go show am for this Abuja…anyway hold on for Reub…’

‘Hehehehe……heheheh…..who no know go know. So you no know say Abuja they monitor all you diaspora writers who write critical pieces about GEJ and his cabinet? PA is the talk of the town in Abuja now now. The man don get himself into a real professorial conundrum over his recent guest o. You no know say Professor Ibrahim Gambari go dance kokoma for im house in Canada…’

Libya’s feral underclass, spurred on by Western arm and primitive ethnocentric agenda eventually got their man. To the glee of every copywriter in the West, Colonel Muammar Gaddafi’s death was not only sensational in the newsroom but also a testimony to the power of propaganda…

President Goodluck Jonathan’s invocation of curses on his appointed ministers may look like falling into our primordial and juju heritage, but the action has proved a sound point. “May your road be rough. May you have hard time this year. May you have plenty of troubles”, are the curses hurled on his ministers to prepare them for the murderous task ahead…