Nigeria’s Triumphalism in Stupor

It’s such a sad matter seeing supposedly sane Nigerians taking pride in abject stupidity.

Nigeria has become the laughing-stock of the world in our warped practice of what ought to be constitutional democracy.

There is no escaping the morbid reality that the benighted country has been turned into a near-death totalitarian state.

The executive, the legislature, the judiciary, and even the so-called fourth estate of the realm, the press, have all been yoked together as marooned servants of temporal power.

Everywhere you care to look, all aspects of democracy are operated in the breach, bordering on toying with the destiny of the nation.

It is now hitting home why even before the first votes were cast, the power-grabbers were insistent on telling all other contenders: “Go to court!”

The elections were obviously fixed before the votes were cast, and the electoral body and the judiciary happen to be in cahoots with the powers-that-be.

The one-party state is the fixation of the moment, and one former party chairman did openly state that all opposition politicians must perforce join the ruling party for all their sins to be forgiven!

One needs to go back to George Orwell’s Animal Farm to learn that “all animals are equal but some are more equal than others.

There’s the woeful case of Rivers State where 27 lawmakers who ought to constitutionally lose their seats due to their well-publicized defection have been armed to sit tight and cause mayhem.

In Lagos State that is more equal like George Orwell’s animals, 35 lawmakers removed the Speaker but were made to eat their votes.

The impeached Speaker returned to his office in full force with the backing of fearsome federal forces – and sat in plenary with four lawmakers.

The Lagos Speaker and his four loyal lawmakers have had the last laugh of the moment as Mr. Speaker has since fully resumed his seat due to orders from above.

The four lawmakers loyal to the Governor of Rivers State have been cast aside because Nigeria practices abracadabra democracy.

Democracy has been given a bloody nose, and the voice of the majority cannot count over the dictates of one man in power atop the rock.

Still on the matter of some animals being more equal than others, there is the raging issue of the female Senator who accused the Senate President of sexual harassment.

It needs to be recalled that another lady from the Niger Delta openly stated that she had to slap the same man over the sexual harassment he visited on her.

In saner climes, the accused helmsman would have needed to step aside for proper investigation to be undertaken and due punishment, or lack thereof, meted out.     

Well, Nigeria is different, as all animals are not equal such that the Oga-at-the-top is at liberty to operate like a He-goat-on-heat while every Nne-ewu is in hot trouble!

Why am I even dragging on about the niceties of constitutional democracy when Nigerians were told from the very beginning that power is all about Grab-Snatch-and-Run?

In the gathering of vultures, it does not even count for much that the ruling party chairman had earlier been caught on tape stashing dollars of corruption into his babanriga.

Amassing all the wealth of the nation will in the end lead all the politicians into one party so that winning the 2027 election would be a foregone conclusion, a landslide victory foretold in amber.

The triumphalism being orchestrated across the land amounts to an unprecedented national stupor.

All makes of bootlickers, toadies, tribesmen, lickspittles, and court jesters are having the raving time of their lives.

The erstwhile critics have all expired and are having a jolly time in praise-singing and ill-assorted grotesqueries at court.

The fear is in the open spaces that Nigeria may not survive the gross manipulation of power as things stand now.

When democracy fails, anarchy supervenes.

Already some states in the North are taking laws into their hands by closing schools throughout the period of the Ramadan fast.

It is only principled leadership that can call the deviants to order, but putting Nigeria in proper order appears not to be in the current scheme of doings for the power players on high.

The clear and present danger is obvious that no country can afford to live in suspended animation forever.

Buying time with all types of distraction can only last for a while before the dreaded sword of Damocles strikes.

As I have kept on repeating like a cracked record of yore, shamelessness is the vilest disease.

The shameless ruling politicians of today’s Nigeria aptly depict Lord Acton’s dictum: “Power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely.”

As I write now, I have just been informed that a new Accountant-General of the Federation has been appointed after a rigorous selection process of his tribal marks!

In the sphere of absolute power corrupting absolutely, the new fad in Nigeria is that all a politician needs to win any election in Nigeria today is to belong to the ruling party.

Wooing supporters is neither here nor there for the questing politician as votes do not count in this so-called democracy.

All it takes is for the powers-that-be to direct the sedulous electoral umpire named Professor Yahoo Mamoo to announce the fixed winner of the election in the ungodly hour of 4am!

As democracy goes wacko in Nigeria, I thusly end this piece on Nigeria’s triumphalism in stupor by revealing that in the forthcoming governorship election that will hold later this year in a state that shall remain nameless, the gubernatorial aspirants trooping into the ruling anyhow party of crooks are actually more in number than the party’s very countable supporters in the state!

Oh Jesu!          

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Uzor Maxim Uzoatu
Uzor Maxim Uzoatu
Uzor Maxim Uzoatu is the author of God of Poetry, Satan's Story, A Play of Ghosts and The Missing Link. A 2008 Caine Prize for African Writing nominee, he wrote the text for Scottish photographer Owen Logan's caricature of Michael Jackson's visit to Nigeria entitled Masquerade. He lives in Lagos and is married with children.

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