I don’t like cats and dogs. It is not as though I hate them, I just don’t like them. When I was a little boy, I had birds as pets. That was it. Birds were really easy to keep, very low maintenance. All you needed was a cage made of bamboo, some grains and some water.
It wasn’t until we moved to another part of
In my old neighborhood it used to be a source of amusement when area-boys stoned dogs to death especially when they see dogs doing the nasty. One thing I couldn’t understand was why it took dogs so damn long to do the nasty. Why can’t they be like humans — two to three minutes and it is over. For humans it was easy: bang, bang, bang — you roll over to sleep. You didn’t have to tell your partner “thank you,” “I love you,” or “honey that was great…how was it for you?” No, no, no; none of that. You simply roll over and go to sleep. But not dogs; they just have to show off their size and staying power.
For all I care, cats and dogs belong in the open or in the cage. If the weather is really bad, put them in a cage in the terrace, or some off-spot location. Bringing dogs and cats into the bedroom, kitchen, or the living room just don’t sit well with me. Common, they are nothing but animals! After all these years, I still don’t understand why some people treat dogs and cats as though they are humans. Dogs and cats are better fed than most humans in
Not too long ago I read a story on the BBC website of dog meat being in great demand in
A few days later I relayed this story to my ex-girlfriend. She threw up, not once but three times. I wasn’t sure which was worse: throwing up or eating dog meat. Not long after that I started romancing someone from
But those damn dogs and cats. Gee, they just had to interfere in our human relationship.
Those damn dogs and cats: they reminded me of the very first time I was dumped years and years ago. That was in 1985 when I lived in
My goodness, she came down hard on me. Before she finally dumped and let me go, she put me through four lecture series: she lectured me about the utility of animals; lectured me about loving the environment and all of God’s creations; lectured me about how dogs and cats are more useful and dependable than men; and also told me that her animals love her unconditionally, are submissive and would do whatever is asked of them.
I am telling you: dogs and cats have been my source of misery and much heartbreak. Way back in
Wherever one heard of witches and wizards confessing their supposed supernatural power and dastardly acts, one would most likely hear about cats and humans alternating form. Every community had stories of human turning into cats and vice versa. In many societies cats were likened to the Tasmanian devil or the hobgoblin of the unknown world raiding human of their internal organs and snuffing life out of babies and the unborn. If dogs were hated; cats were despised a dozen times more. If you think cats are hated in
I recently fell in love. It was intense. It was powerful. It was commanding. It was the kind of feeling and emotion that makes one’s world giddy and ones knees wobbly. It subjected one’s heart and one’s mind to all sorts of variables. It was a good-nasty-shaking feeling. Just recently, a friend who lives in the
Penultimate weekend — unannounced, without consulting me, without prior warning — she brought home two dogs and two cats. Last weekend — unannounced, without consulting her, without prior warning — I packed my bags and left for