I was going to caption this article – So This Is What It Means To Be Married, but on second thoughts decided against it, the weather in London at the moment is boiling and I wouldn’t want to mix that with my wife’s temper, incase she stumbles upon the title and article. It would seem as if I’m complaining.
Anyway, it was my last day at work today before our ‘earned’ two months summer vacation. Now don’t you go envying us and our holidays, we sure knew what we were doing when we decided to become academics. Dating back from my undergraduate days in Nigeria when one of my lecturer friends let me in on a little secret, “But for the poor salaries and working conditions, this is the best job in the world”, he had confided in me. When I probed further, he pointed out the unlimited holidays lecturers enjoy, which gives them more than enough time to pursue their private business. I wanted to ask him if ‘sorting’ and ‘sampling’ of female students was also part of the reasons for his thinking, but I sure didn’t want to push my luck, he was yet to issue my final grades then.
Since I have been living abroad, one of the things I look forward to every year is my annual summer holidays in Nigeria. A time normally reserved for me and the boys to get into all sorts. The stories and escapades are enough to put Nollywood movie scriptwriters out of business. How disappointed they will be this year that I won’t be calling them as usual to announce my flight arrival time at either Murtala Muhammed Airport Ikeja, or Nnamdi Azikiwe Airport Abuja.
They have been sending me signals long before now, wanting to know what the scores would be this year and how I intend to come to Nigeria without madam; I didn’t want to dampen their spirits and have held out telling them that I was trying to get a last minute bargain ticket. One of the boys had safely and securely shipped – off his wife and family to Europe, meaning that the coast is clear from his side, if you know what I mean. Another of the boys, a serial bachelor who has continuously dug up any known excuse from the book not to get married has recently been confirmed as a managing director of a federal government owned hotel, and has shown his willingness to host our ‘annual convention’.
Surely I knew that something must give the day I said I do last year. And so I intend to confirm to the boys later this week that their hommie won’t be coming back this summer. He has got a family to love and be there for.
There are too many things I could be doing this summer to protect me from me, and keep me safe from harm from all those semi-nude women parading the streets of London. I could be researching and writing academic papers, but that for sure is the most boring thing on earth to do in summer. I could get more serious writing my book but I have been on this mental and writer’s bloc mode for months now. How about getting busy on some DIY projects at home but surely I wouldn’t try that, for fear of inflicting additional material damages, it’s definitely not my beat. I could be hanging out with friends but every other person will be at work every day, wifey too.
Yeah, one option left it seems, join the grove and do some politicking. My conscience tells me to be down with Pat Utomi, my heart says flow with him but my head tells me otherwise.
Anyway, what the heck, what have I got to lose? we gotta die someday; at least I would die knowing that I did something I believed in.
July 2006. email@example.com
Advertorial! (you don’t have to read this)
There is a UK Working Group roundtable with Prof. Pat Utomi in London this coming
Sunday July 16th 2006. This is purely a non-political party affair, members and non-members of all the political parties but who would like to support or know more about the Pat Utomi candidacy are invited. For details contact Dr. Anthony kila on firstname.lastname@example.org or call +44- 7906084842, and also Uche Nworah on email@example.com or call +44-7985280210. Alternatively download, complete and return this questionnaire.