Love, Religion and Agnostics Like Me

by Sabella Ogbobode Abidde

What is the matter with all these Bible-carrying proselytes who bump into me everywhere I go? Everywhere I go, everywhere I turn, and they are there. They want to know what Church or denomination I belong? They want me to come to Church with them, to have a relationship with Christ, confess my sins and know God. They want me to aspire to a higher level of being. And when I rebuff them, they look at me, almost with pity, and as though I am headed for the valley of fire. How they know where we are headed after death is beyond me since no one really knows. All we can do — and all we do — is to guess, to contemplate.

I don’t care about religion and don’t think highly of it, anyway. I have not prayed or read the Bible or any religious text or been to a place of worship in fifteen years. I am deeply suspicious of anything religion, and even of religious people. There is something about religion that makes me uncomfortable. The blind faith. The fatalism. The idea of heaven and hell. Of burning fire and paradise. I don’t get it and I don’t care!

Ethics and morality and the rule of law makes more sense to me, than all these good for nothing hoopla about religion. Those Jihadists didn’t think twice about God before beheading their victims, did they? President Bush didn’t think twice before going to war. Or did he? He probably consulted his pastor who prayed for him before he went to war. What we do in the name of religion and in the name of God!

Since the beginning of time, men have always wondered where they came from and where they are headed. The truth is that we do not know. Nobody knows. And not knowing has put fear in the heart of men. To cope with this fear however men adopted religion with the hope that wherever they are headed would be much better so long as they meet certain prerequisites. And religion, as it turned out, has been very dangerous for mankind who has used it to commit all sorts of atrocities. Men use religion to commit all manner of iniquities the same way they use politics to exploit and to subjugate and to inferiorize others.

Pat Robertson wanted Hugo Chavez assassinated. By the way: isn’t it a crime to threaten a president? Why wasn’t Robertson arrested? He thinks God will and should punish those who favor the teaching of “evolution” in the classrooms. He hates gays and lesbians and pro-abortionists. He hates liberals. He probably hates Blacks and Jews, too. With Pat, it is hard to tell. You never can tell. It is possible he hates himself.

And if you really, really, really think about it religion and politics are the primary twin-evils of the world. Both are about power. Both are about fear. Both are about control. In order words, religion and politics are akin to cartels that traffics in the exploitation of humans. The exploited and the subjugated all have hope of someday being free. I have always felt that Christianity is the shakiest of all religion; that it is the most violent and most intolerant of all, and those who propagates its tenets, the most cunning. When I see or hear people like Jim Bakker, T.D Jakes, Jimmy Swaggart, Jerry Falwell, Creflo Dollar and the rest of them — all I see are pathetic little people; fakes, dupes, and impostors ready to pounce and prey on the weak.

There should be laws against Televangelists and against all those Nigerian based preachers who take turn coming to places like Houston, the Washington DC area, New York and Los Angeles. These so-called preachers prey on the fear and instability of weaklings within the Nigerian community. Now, who does not know that most of these preachers mix Christianity (Oyinbo juju) with African juju and voodoo? You didn’t?

Because we live in a world of uncertainties, we invented God to give us hope and serenity; we invented politics — and by extension, government — to give us stability. Religion and politics, as it turned out, have been inimical to human progress and human well-being.

We have the three Abrahamic faiths: Christianity, Islam and Judaism. In addition, we have the four Asian religions: Taoism, Confucianism, Buddhism, and Hinduism. These religions all have revered texts and cumulative tradition. However, primal religions like the traditional African religions do not have sacred texts but have cumulative tradition and rich oral history. All these religions — from the Abrahamic to the primal — all have points of convergence and points of divergence, which have led to the establishment of various sects within them. All the major religion claims to be the “truth and the way.” It is all guesswork, folks.

Every time I have tried to chase an African girl, especially Nigerian girls, they invariably shift the conversation to religion, inviting me to their Churches. Most of these girls seem to belong to the Pentecostal denomination. What is the matter with Pentecostals? What is the matter with these girls? Don’t they know that their religiosity is getting on my nerves? Besides, I am not in the business of making pastors rich. I live in a rented room (in a house), pastors live in palatial homes; I catch the bus and the DC trains, they drive fancy cars; I struggle to pay my bill, but their bills are taken care of by gullible souls.

By the way, I am not afraid of tomorrow or of where I am going when I drop dead. What do I care? I am the least interested in all those yeye-talks about heaven and hell.

All I am looking for is a nice, beautiful, brilliant, eclectic girl to hang out with, to have coffee, go to the movies, have dinner or lunch, go to book readings; and every now and then, roll under the sheets and have sex or make love. My goodness, is that too much to ask for? What part of my intensions don’t these girls understand? Why must there be talks about Jesus and everlasting fire and such fables. Why must there be prayers in the morning and at night and at every time in between? Read Shakespeare, not the Bible!

With time — especially if she digs me and I dig her — we could move the relationship one or two notches, i.e., overnight stays and things like that. And then down the road — if the digging is still there — talks about marriage and things like that can come in. Now, is that too much to ask for? I don’t think so. Or do you? One more thing: why do women confuse sex for love? What’s the problem? What’s the matter here? There is a big difference. Sex is sex. Love is love. Don’t muddle issues. Please. With love comes sex; but you can have sex without love.

What the %^&* am I talking about? Ask me…

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Anonymous January 2, 2006 - 3:02 pm


Anonymous December 14, 2005 - 4:59 pm

" A fool hath said in his heart, there is no God " Psalm 14:1

"I call heaven and earth to witness against you this day, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and curse; therefore choose life, that you and your descendants may live, loving The Lord your God, obeying His voice, and cleaving to Him; for that means life to you and length of days" Deut 30:19

That settles it!It is all about choice, you have a right to make your choice. But as it is in the natural, that for every choice you make there is a consequence. Now, whether that consequence follows on here on earth or in heaven or in hell for that matter, that is up to God. Choose life my dear, that you may live!

Anonymous December 13, 2005 - 7:13 am

Dear Sab…,

Trust me. There is no god.

Not here, not there, not anywhere.

Let those who believe in him go ahead, it is all cool. The only thing that matters in this world is to try as much as possible to be selfless, helpful, reasonable and honest with ALL human beings, regardless of race, sexual orientation, even religion. Do not, I repeat, do not be a slave to some mumbo jumbo man-made beliefs system(s).



The Dude!

Anonymous December 12, 2005 - 6:51 am

This is a very exciting piece, I really enjoyed it. I am as atheist as they come. I watch the religious channels just to "laff", I enjoy laffing u see. I guess they are prolly laffing at me too, more like feeling sorry for "the fool who will burn in everlasting fire". lol. Who cares Not me for sure…

Anonymous December 11, 2005 - 8:25 pm

Dear sabella,

The issue is that your unbelief cannot make the faith of god of no have believed what you believed and others have believed what they believed, but only eternity shall tell who is right.the only painful thing is that it would have been too late for one to change when he/she realises the truth in eternity.but one thing i must tell you is thatchristianity is a way of life and not just a believe system.only if you can sincerely say a little prayer and tell god to reveal himself to you if he really exists and god in his mercywill reveal himself to you.may god help you.

Anonymous December 6, 2005 - 6:53 am

This is interesting. You sound like someone who has has one too many bad experiences at the hand of "religion". But how you choose to handle religious types and religion is your choice. Religion is more a way of life than mouthing a few pious platitudes.

The same human sense and rationale you use for dismissing the existence of a God is the same another person has used for the existence of a God. You are not right and they are not wrong – time, as with everything else, will tell. You can get out of a belief system what you will, there will always be blind followers in one way or another, just as there are blind followers in politics.

Politics and religion are my two favourite subjects. Even with the most antagonistic person you can find common ground – if they are willing to think "outside of the box" rather than go along with the masses who exist at both ends of the debate. And let's face it, humans love their comfort zones, religious or otherwise.

Anonymous December 5, 2005 - 2:56 pm

Sabella, I am not surprised..I know you by now! Ha ha, this is mrskenna. You said all of this to get a girl…perhaps this is the reason why you can't get one. I am Christian but I haven't always been. During my college years I was atheist. Nothing was going right until one day, I met someone whose sole purpose was to lead me back to Christ. One of the comments mentioned that you possibly believed beforehand and maybe something happened to you…is that true Let me know!

God still loves you even though you have forgotten about him. You remind me of my college days. Perhaps later in life you will know the truth and perhaps it will lead to marriage. You know…God honors marriage and maybe he is waiting for you to get right before get married and have children! Just a thought!

Anonymous December 4, 2005 - 7:39 am

many God bless you mr godwin kwushue. for ur Excellen comment

Anonymous December 3, 2005 - 12:15 am


The biblical St Paul found himself in the presence of king Herod and he boldly preached Christ before him. Herod knowing Paul's Judaism background asked him just one question, 'hath much learning made you mad'

Certainly Paul was not mad but, that is the price men who are bold enough to advertise new ideas pay, because people who are used to existing beliefs are certainly not ready to entertain a new idea or faith

Ideas and faiths that queries the concept of the existence of God came into being after the concept of existence and the universalism of God has existed for thousands of years. Thousands of years ago during the stone age period when human beings basically depended on hunting and gathering of wild fruits for food, there were happenings in their immediate environment that made them believe in the existence of a supreme being with superlative qualities. Consequently man worshiped and made sacrifices to this supreme being. This phenomenon replicated itself everywhere in the world. The foregoing describes the evolution of religion and the concept of God. The stone henge period in Europe was a product of this universal experience.

The concept of God has been in existence from time. The Sabellas who hold a different view will not discount the fact of the concept of God and the universalism of same. They are entitle to their opinion in this matter or any other. There are no situation in this world that man has not exploited, to enslave, dupe and mess up the lives of others for his own selfish benefit, men who claim to worship God has done unspeakable things in His name. However Love and sex has also served as tool of exploitation in our society just as pastors and men of God has employed religion to the detriment of others so has love and sex been used to the detriment of the undecerning. Not a few widows has lost everything bequeathed to then by their late husbands to thieves in the garb of boyfriends or lovers. Philanderers are on the prowl in every neighbourhood with their pack of convincing lies, yes lies that will definitely slide pants and skirt, off some bum bum, certainly this is fraud. Let us not forget to mention the case of ladies who are ready to dress half naked to see a particular rich guy in order to get into his life and his pocket in the name of love and sex.

While I agrree with you that God and religion has been used for the purpose of exploitation, love and sex has has been abused for the same purpose too. Love and sex has been used as bait by con artist as much as religion. I know for sure that you will not advise anybody to abstain from sex or being loved because of the likelyhood that they might be duped or may be unlucky with lovers certainly not every lover is out to dupe or ruin his or her partner, You may want to ask them to be cautious in chosing their lovers, the same logic may be applied to the choice of religion and pastors. We may reasonably concluded here that much as there are bad pastors whose only purpose in the ministry is to relieve their follower their had earn money, that does not mean that there are no good pastors or that religion serves no useful purpose in the lives of worshippers all over the world.

Godwin Kwushue

Anonymous December 1, 2005 - 3:11 pm

This is a beautiful article and I share the understanding with you. Thd fact of the mather is how do you remove fear from the gulible poor people of the world. If fear is part of life people who understand that will use it in any form.

Thanks for the writing

Anonymous December 1, 2005 - 12:43 pm

Please don't let the wolves in sheep's clothing discourage you . I believe that at some point in time you believed in God but circumstances in life have made you doubt his existense. I would encourage you to look inward, God gave everyone a void that money, sex, wealth cannot fill. this is evident when people who seem to have it all commit suicide. I would encourage you to shut off everything you know and go the Bible , read the book of John, fetch the truth for yourself. see if Jesus acted like the crusaders, or the slave traders. Jesus is kind and compassionate and merciful. he didn't condemn people the way many xtain leaders do today. say God " if you are real , reveal yourself to me" . and I believe God would prove himself to you. God bless. in medicine, there are good doctors as well as bad ones, we won't discredit the good ones because of the bad ones. please email me @ after you say this prayer and fetch the truth for yourself. God bless

Anonymous December 1, 2005 - 10:50 am

Wow! I reckon you are confused, although am not astonished cos we are in the latter days of which you are one of those who are fulfilling the Bible prophecies. I equally agree with #3, absolute truth is absolute truth whether you believe it or not. Is it too much to ask for to love God, love people and value His kingdom. Weve been given the gift of choice, youve chosen your path then allow others. And for your information Christianity is a life and not a religion. If you cant accept that, explore, search, study all you can, and cry out loud perhaps you might get a glimpse.

Reply November 30, 2005 - 4:34 pm

I am actually printing this and passing this to my co-workers (which is risky cus I work for a catholic health organization) I agree with Sabella. I was raised catholic and still practice only because (and I am ashamed to say) it is easier to go with the crowd. I have asked questions of God, my priests and cathecism teachers and all they feed me are scripts send down from the vatican. I looked to other denominations and find nothing there either, just believers jumping up and down every sunday, proclaiming their faith, sometimes screaming at the top of their lungs as though the louder they yell, the more ingrained their belief becomes, and the more it becomes true. I have not found answers anywhere. Perhaps that is the ultimate answer to the meaning of life … who we are, where we come from, who put here and why. Sabella, your beliefs are just as valid as the beliefs of the religious believers, christian, jew, muslim, voodoo, hoodoo, asian religious worshippers, any form of belief in a higher power, be it a deity or a piece of wood. The fact that is we have "beliefs" that in itself is the most powerful of human tendencies … the need to believe in something.

Anonymous November 29, 2005 - 7:50 pm

I am with you 100 . People have hard time understanding me. Christianity came from Europe, and it was used to cheat and enslave Africans who blindly accepted it. Islam came from the Middle East, again used to control and stole all the Gold in Africa. Pilgrim to Isreal, Pilgri to mecca….bunch of bull. Wake up people. Your holly land (Isreal) is where the moden day attrocities is been committed. Your holy land of Mecca, is where they have the most brought-up terrorists, so called dumb ass Jihadist hoping to get to heaven through self explosion. I do not Support African Jojo either, since some smart ass ancestor invented that garbage millions of years ago.

Let me tell you what I do like, I love our culture so much, with the exception of Voodoo, that I can see the happiness in the heart of most Nigerians.

Have faith in yourself, learn from people mistakes, but don't be brain wash like most Africans. The truth is Africcans are always vulnerable to outsiders, and as a result the outsiders have turned most NIgerians in to zombies, through some freaking religion garbage. Wake up people, the bible and the quran are just fictional books written by some good sroty teller.

At the time the bible and the quran were written, if Africans, Nigerians in particular were able to write,by now there would be a holy book called "The holly voodoo book" as well, and trust me people will still fall for it too. What else should i say poeple, face reality, and stop living a life of wishful thinking.

Wayo Guy November 29, 2005 - 4:32 pm

Sabella, you presented a solid intellectual food for thought for believers and non-believers alike.I wish I could recruit you for a reverse-brainwashing education on my brothers and sisters in Nigeria who have been seduced, blindly, by religion and who spend half of the money I send them feeding Pastors, Reverends, and other alleged holy men and women in mushroom churches. All my warnings over the years have been ignored. Good job.

But, Sabella, how can you, an avowed agnostic, make categorical and affirmative statements How did an agnostic acquire such certainty How Philosophers and knowledge theorists agree on one thing: an agnostic (a true agnostic anyway) is incapable of honestly promulgating any social or intellectual theory (inlcuding his primary belief in the unknowability of the existence of God) simply because the agnostic believes that he does not KNOW and CANNOT know. Logically, therefore, if he cannot know, agnosticism is merely anchored on BELIEF (as opposed to knowledge) which is the same ground on which a true Christian anchors his christianity: BELIEF.

If we truly CANNOT know the existence of God (Deism), we, by the same token, cannot know the lack of existence (Atheism) and cannot know that God's existence is unknowable (Agnosticism).

Perhaps your gripe should be against the overly-dogmatic, holier-than-thou, ignorant, half-educated, brain-washed, bible-carrying fools, such as my brothers and sisters in Nigeria, who will tell you that God exists (knowledge) as opposed to "I believe that God exists"(article of faith).

Anonymous November 29, 2005 - 11:14 am

I agree with #3! You know it is interesting when people like the writer try to confuse Christianity with any one man or woman as the case may be (ala Bush, Robertson, etc) , I mean talk about those guys if you wish to malign them but don't say that there is no God just because of the actions of men. God loves you and it is you and Him in the end and not what anyone else says or does. And again, yeah if it is true that no one really knows anything that is true, then how can you categorically state that something is not Give your life to Christ, that is the one thing missing in your life and then everything will fall in perspective. Stay blessed

Anonymous November 29, 2005 - 10:03 am

Crap! Do you a need job or something

Anonymous November 29, 2005 - 8:11 am

I am a reader from the Uk.This is my first time of accessing this site and of reading articles from the writer.I am the least surprised of the opinions of the writer.I took time in reading the article.Definately christianity is a blind faith and the more you try to use your 'human sense' to decipher its contents the more you get confused.If i might put it directly, your intended actions with those Nigerian girls(not one, not two)sincerly speaking, is it not to make a mess of their career and bright future.An habit that christianity condemns and goes ahead to help its captives.Futhermore,your struggle to pay your bills and of life itself is what christianiy can and will easily help you out with.I have been in your shoes before and i am out and free and enjoying life to its fullest just because of this christianity thing.Before you throw it to the bins, why not have a taste of it.O taste and see.

Anonymous November 29, 2005 - 6:19 am

Excellent, just too good. Ike London, UK (

Chiddy November 28, 2005 - 6:23 pm

This article of yours get as e be!!!Just like #3,am shocked at brazeness with which you declare ur unbelief.There is a God and He loves and cares for u,

His love is not dependent on ur feelings or belief system,He loves u inspite of those.

Have you ever considered that u could be meeting this Bible carrying girls for a reasonI for one carry my Bible and I make sure any guy I go out with shares my belief.Maybe its the same with those girls.

Is it too much to ask for u to at least listen to your heart(it will tell u that God is real and true).

Anonymous November 28, 2005 - 5:16 pm

It's funny how your posts doesn't seem to defend your position as much as to debunk Christianism or religion in general. Why I always find that interesting. If you believe in what you believe what gives you the right to question what others (those church girls u talk about) believe One more thing, God or Christianity is not about George Bush, or Pat Robertson, or TD Jakes. Just an FYI for next time you're writing.

Anonymous November 28, 2005 - 2:35 pm

I had read your previous brilliant articles, but this one is a shocker. I'm dissapointed, but you have every right to your beliefs. One thing is this – people use rationalization to remain entrenched in their beliefs and immoral behaviors. Whether you believe in religion or God or not, absolute truth is absolute truth. Nothing can change that. We Christians who love God do not require you to believe.

It seems you have been infected by the so-called Western secularism which Satan is spearheading. Bravo to a great and wonderful life in eternity.

Ralph, Minnesota.

Anonymous November 28, 2005 - 10:59 am

Simply brilliant. This will cheese off a lot of Nigerians, no doubt, but it's great to have someone strike a blow on behalf of the irreligious. I celebrate your self awareness! Ignore the (inevitable) stupid comments from the fire and brimstone crowd.

Anonymous November 28, 2005 - 7:42 am

Religion is the opium of the poor, to put it in Karl Marx's words. For many, religion helps them answer all the puzzling questions about humanity – Why are we here on earth Where do we go after we die etc.

Indeed, inumerable attrocities are committed in the name of "God" every micro-second. The devil only get's play when the opposing team (whatever that means) seems to be winning. Religion is as nebulous as any other idea, but much more dangerous than most. It creates mass hysteria and indelible confusion. It erodes reason like cancer. Holy books, which I believe were created by other men to help assure a code of conduct and which state lofty goals to which to aspire are everlastingly the kindling for deepest hate among mankind. I find it all most disturbing. However, as a realist I recognize that human beings forever will largely remain on the edge of reason. I value divergent thinking and truly believe that when foolish emotion is spent people come to reason, either quietly or publicly. As for the woman you're searching for she is out there probably in a humanist organization. As for anyone who confuses love and sex, you are on your own. 🙂 Make sure you are clear on your goals/purpose and express them clearly to the women with whom you associate before love/romance clouds the brain. I hope you find what you seek.


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