My Bottled Water Smells Like Rotten Egg And Luciano Is Tripping!

by Sandra Ukachi

My bottle of water smells like rotten egg. I opened it up about an hour ago and left it sitting on my desk for like another half hour. Now I put it to my lips and I feel like gagging. I mean, I don’t understand what happened to it, but I don’t want to know. Can’t drink it anymore though, and I am trying to find a biological explanation for this. I left it sitting on the table without the cap on for a half hour. Did some kind of air borne bacteria settle on it? I can’t figure that one out. I’ll probably carry out some kind of experiment in the next few days. I’ll leave an open bottle of water out in the lab and see what happens in four days…..Any way’s I am at work right now and the heat isn’t working for some reason, my hands are freezing and I have my jacket on.

The temperature suddenly dropped in New York today, after a whooping 56 degrees yesterday. They say its spring…SPRING GBAKWA OKU! I just pity the patients who have to deal with the drop in temperature with no heat.

Guys, I recently met someone oh! And no he isn’t Nigerian and I am not saying were he is from, and I will probably switch to Pidgin English in a few seconds, because I don’t think I want him stumbling on this article. As you can all see, I have my real name and picture on here. I am seriously considering taking it down, but I have a totally explanatory direction I am taking.

I feel say una don shine ya eye see that movie wey dem call how one woman collect im groove after how many years. Well I am not exactly in the same boat as she was, I am still in my early twenties and being a single chick in New York pesin eye dey see some kin tins. Three days ago I had an appointment in Manhattan and I started a really insightful conversation with this dude. He is pretty intelligent and I absolutely loved talking to him. We talked for like an hour while I waited to be called in for my appointment. At the end oh we exchanged number, and im sef come call me the very next day. I go lie if I say I no gbadu am small, but I take style gbadu am sha. The guy fine well well oh and I come believe say something dey there.

There’s definitely something there though, a whole lot actually. He seems….well he is intelligent and that’s a big issue for me when it comes to interacting with people. It’s all about the brain…..and if you don’t have anything up there and you can’t carry a good conversation, then that’s a huge NO NO!

We were on the phone for 3hrs and we have so much in common it’s ridiculous. Needless to say I was looking forward to seeing him again…..My people, e come reach the time when e come ask me for ma age, I take style commot one number, e come tell me im own age oh….ahhhh…I old pass am oh…..and you know wetin funny, the bobo no mind oh. I believe say culture pass culture. I come make mental note oh….I decide say this interaction must to finish oh….e no favor me oh, I get some kin principles.

Truth be told principle has nothing to do with it. I don’t see myself going down that road, I mean it’s a number but it’s a “tufiakwa” for me. There’s a problem though…I can’t get myself to stop talking with him… im dey call me all the time, im dey too sweet, a gentle man. To cut long tori, im no dey like emeka and chidi…..ehe, make una attack me, all you niger people that are ready to put words in my mouth and attack people for no reason. It is freedom of speech and expression, allow us. You can make your comments nicely; you do not have to resort to insults.

Speaking of attacks oh, I published an article last week titled, “I DON’T EXPECT YOU TO UNDERSTAND MY PAIN! I DON’T REALLY CARE IF YOU DON’T

It was an article dedicated to my uncle who’s sick at the hospital and I was grieving terribly. Not just for him but for friends and relations whom I had lost to health problems in the past. I mean, I was talking about my desire to contribute a better health care system in my country Nigeria, and I was promptly attacked by “Luciano”, (if that’s the person’s real name). Luciano attacked me and insulted me oh, I fell off my chair…but no worries sha, enough respect Luciano. That was totally uncool and unnecessary though; just saying. I don’t think Luciano read my article at all. I was talking about my uncle being sick, how I didn’t want him to die, and Luciano immediately accused me of attacking my country (I took it personally, because I love my country, I adore Nigeria), and he went on to say something derogatory. He had absolutely no respect for my Uncle or my personal life. I respect everyone who reads articles on here; I love you all, but please show the writers the same respect. You can give your own opinions in a respectful and mature manner. You can agree to disagree, that’s okay. Please if you do not understand the article or you did not read it from the beginning to the end, do us a favor and do not make any unnecessary comments!

I just had to let that out, I am really blunt and I don’t keep anything inside if it affects me in anyway. I have read articles on here, I might not speak on the same issues, analyze the issues Nigeria has, but I have a lot of knowledge and I have my own voice people. But I do have something for you all; why don’t we all stop bitching about what’s wrong with Nigeria and ask ourselves: WETIN I FIT DO FOR MY COUNTRY? Just saying!

I just took a whiff of my bottled water again….whew, it smells horrible…I think I am going to gag……I have to run into the bathroom.

PS: I know I am going to really hear it now, but keep it coming people, it adds a whole lot more to my life. I live for it….lol…

You may also like


Luciano June 22, 2008 - 10:33 pm

Ada,hope you enjoyed your reverse-tripping! However,I am proud of you and our origin.I am Luciano born in Lagos but bred all over Nigeria.My other net name is naijaninja because i take no prisoners from those who abuse our fatherland and its good people.The only people I don’t defend are our thieving leaders.Those of us who are ARSENAL supporters also pick names from gunnery-related or mafia-related activities.I have made relevant comments about your uncle on the original article.I did not mean to get at you.You are very good.Please keep soooooooting…Don’t mind Rosie.She is a lively and good soul too.

contaminated June 3, 2008 - 7:35 pm

so what were the results of the rotten egg water test? We just experience this bizarre happening as well. Where there any physical/mental side effects? We are worried we’ve just been poisoned.

Vera Ezimora April 7, 2008 - 8:46 pm

Ada, don’t limit yourself. Go for it, but proceed with caution. One never knows where happiness will lie.

ada April 4, 2008 - 4:56 pm

ok, where do I begin? lol. Thank you all for taking the time to read my article…I am laughing so hard…tetuila9ja, I am so sorry for giving you so much stress….Rosie, my sister, u know I love you. I have been waiting eagerly for your nesxt article. Wale!!! I did not say I loved him oh! Haaa! NA SO DEM DEY DO LOVE? Steve, lol…Mr Emeka I am so sorry, u know u are perfect now…ur fiance knows too that’s why she is marrying you. Thanks Carl and igweakaike for appreciating my words…

Bia tetuila9ja how far with the rating now…from 3 stars to 2 (wink*wink*), I thought u enjoyed reading it?

igweakaike April 3, 2008 - 5:48 pm

u are just good! go on with ur expressions.for the guy ,if your heart say no! them stop calling him .

dynmma April 3, 2008 - 1:27 pm

Chi m o!!Make you no go cradle snacthing o.Anyways,I know the age thing trips up a lot of people-including me-but hey,keep talking to him if you enjoy his company.All I ask for is a wedding IV.Too early I know but who knows,right?

carl April 3, 2008 - 1:08 pm

From bottled water which smells like rotten egg,to that very cold which compelled u to talk to that guy for three solid hours,FROM THIS GUY TO LUCIANO the kokonut.wetin concern chidi and emeka for this matter?These guys don vex for alaba,com send luciano the kokonut make im go mess inside ur bottled water.pls hold luciano responsible for the rotten egg and the mess.Ada some mess wey i dey perceive all over this country no get nafdac number.Tell dem make dem hear

carl April 3, 2008 - 12:08 pm

this luciano na kokonut.i pity for whoever spent money on him to be educated.i think im medula dey run zizag.person way no understand wetin im read suppose ask question.abi.ADA i wukwara dis guy n’ the bullet it wont kill anybody.As per ur guy make u shine eye becos that guy fit carry chocolate and honey for mouth.Nne,were nwayo na-enyem okporoko eze adighim n’onu

Steve April 3, 2008 - 8:40 am

Haba!!! Ada, I take offense to your Emeka and Chidi reference, but you have the right though. Now, I have to explain to my fiancée, who by the way is not Nigerian but has managed to understand and speak Pidgin English, and some Ibo, that Emeka (which happens to be my other name) is not a bad name, or anything negative. How did she come to read your article? Because we read together for laughs and fun. I challenged her to read your article and explain the Pidgin English to me. We are only serious when it comes to work and deadlines, and whenever seriousness is needed. If there is no need for seriousness, it’s all laughs. That is something most people (particularly immigrants) have forgotten how to do. You know what they say; laughing can add some years to us all. As someone in the medical field, I try to make people laugh, knowing the benefits.

If my fiancée decides not to marry me because of the bad name you’ve given to all the Emekas out there, I will have to look for you as a replacement bride—especially now that we all know your face. Kapish? lol

Good luck in your search, and enjoy the single life while it lasts.

Wale April 3, 2008 - 8:38 am

You’ve said everything. Seems you like (love) this guy. But as an African, age matters, but (again) though you’re an African, you live in the US, so you can go for it. You must however be careful. Marrying someone who is not from one’s tribe could be a difficult task. Think about it and enjoy yourself girl.

tetuila9ja April 3, 2008 - 4:55 am

Come to think of it, it won’t be a bad idea to date an older lady. Experience, right? Guys, like myself, could do with some MP (Matured Pampering). Unno dat kain thing! 😀

Whatever gets the juices flowing. Do your thing. Nothing dey happen!

Reply April 2, 2008 - 2:15 pm

Ada, you are a crazy girl!!! Please don’t dump the guy. I am excited for you. Go for it. Dating a younger guy is like buying a pair of manolos. You know they are expensive but damn, your feet look good don’t it? Abeg fashi Luciano. He forgot his morning coffee and the rest of us have to suffer for it. And don’t give a f*** what comments people make. If no one is making comments, then no one is reading and that is the purpose of writing, right? So you can share and people can read about your experiences. Also, now you know why I don’t have my legal name or face on this site. Some of the confessions I have made is enough to make my family stop talking to me….hence the anonymity.

tetuila9ja April 2, 2008 - 10:11 am

Hmmnn! O di kwa egwu o! You write well, nwanne’m nwanyi. But it’s almost a full-time job tryn’ to decipher this article which -I stand corrected- is a 3-in-1 piece (?): started and ended with your ‘pour’ water (apologies to sellers of sachet H2O in 9ja); your young ‘Prince Charming’; and biased/un-informed responses by readers. But then again, your profile sort of explains it all, “…not your average writer…”. What’s the title of this article again? Just playing with you. Be strong, my sister. O naghi a di gi de (it doesn’t last 4ever – dilemmas, that is)


Leave a Comment