I beg, make una hear wetin I wan talk first before una begin curse me. I know say na English una dey take write for this una hemail but I get sometin to ask and I go ask am first. When I dey for Nigeria wey I dey hear about obodo oyibo of USA, I been think say na heaven wey I must to reach before I die. I do everything wey I fit do to make sure say I reach this place. Infact, if I talk how I take reach here, una go think say I don craze so I go leave that matter for now.
When I reach this place na for airport nahim I don begin smell God hand for this country. The kind breeze wey blow me after wey I commot for the aeroplane na better fine breeze wey just cool my body well well. My brother Sunday (na Sunny him dey call himself here oh) come carry me for airport and as I see my brother na so horse begin gallop for my belle. My belle sweet well well because the last time wey I see Sunday na for 1990 when him commot for Nigeria with bro James. Dat one done die now.
Sunny no resemble the Sunday wey I know long time ago at all oh. Him chest don big pass the wrestler them own wey dey we village and the kind cloth wey him wear for body fear me small oh. I just open mouth look am sotey him tell me say make I close my mouth now. When we reach outside wey I see the motor wey him carry come, I begin dey think say Sunny don craze true true oh. The motor big reach ship. When him open the boot nko to put my load, I think say na there I go siddon because the boot reach to carry all aunty Rosa six children put inside.
Him house sha oh, na only my eye see am but my mouth no fit talk am because the house be like say e reach where God dey for up. From that time wey I see all that one, I don know say na my last bus stop I reach so and I must to make am for this country any how wey others dey take make am. When sunny show me him wife I just begin pray say make him mama no ever see this kind thing for her pickin house oh because the woman go just fall for ground quench straight. Na so so hole full Sunny him wife body. she put like six for ear, one dey her nose, one dey eye and she even put one for her tongue sef (sunny say she no dey chop pepper).The one wey surprise me pass be say she even write plenty thing for body( Sunny tell me say na fashion).
When person press bell for downstairs for Sunny house, if them press one thing for wall, the wall go talk who dey there.The day when sunny no get money for house sef, na so him carry me go someplace where one kind machine so jus dash am money, collateral sef he no ask.
I want tell you the things wey my eye don see wey my mouth no fit talk sef because if I no talk am now, I no know how I go take continue for this country oh. The first thing wey my eye see be say them woman them no dey buy cloth wey go reach for them tailor to sew them cloth at all oh. All of them no dey cover bodi at all, some kind backside wey I don see for outside na only for where people dey baf for home nahim I fit see that kind thing oh. Even sef, them chest sef no dey cover at all oh, na so I just dey carry my eye put where I dey go make I no go hear gbosa for my face because I look another man property, belle nko? I no even fit talk that one because I don see woman wey him belle big like mama Bose own when she get Bose belle and the woman no even shame sef, she still put the belle for outside for everybody to see.
The first time when them ask me “whats up?”, I look up, look down. I come tell the girl say nothing dey up. I even get to tell the man wey dey live for Sunny him house say my name no be Uyo because everytime him see me nahim him go dey shout dey call me Uyo! Uyo! And I no know wetin make am even think say that na my name. When I don rest for the first two days,for the third day nahim sunny don tell me say I get to begin find work quick, quick . I begin go out to look for work as man no be lazy man.
The first place them ask me say wetin be my SS abi na SSS sef? I look the man for eye like this, I raise hand up. I come swear to my God tell am say since the day wey my mama born me, I never ever join SSS before. The man look me like say I dey talk nonsense so I commot there go another place. I waka that day until I find work wey them talk say make I dey wash plate for this place where them dey sell food.Them tell me say make I go begin wash plate nahim I ask them say where the bucket dey make I go fetch water wey I go use.The man just open water for me, him come talk say make I just wash the plate and shut up. Na so I take start work there oh.
From that day wey them open that pump till the day when I comot for there, that water no stop to run oh, infact I try to find where them borehole dey make I see how far them dig the thing make me sef for fit tell my people for home about am but I no even fit find am sef (when I ask my oga, him do like say him no know wetin I dey talk, I know say him no want make anybody know him secret).
Na for that place I work for six months before I come get this new work for factory. For this factory, na meat we dey use make something wey long so wey them dey call hotdog. My work na to carry the meat from the place wey them clean am go the place wey them go cut am then, I go come carry am go back to the side wey them go grind am. I just notice say oyibo people sabi to waste meat well well because them dey commot all the better part of the meat put for side for me, then them go come tell me to put the meat for inside one big bag wey some people dey come carry everyday. When them grind different kind of meat, them dey put the remaining for different place, them say them no want make the thing mix. I beg una hear that kind thing before? Me I come talk say make I help them small maybe them go fit make me supervisor for the place if them see say I sabi work well.
So, I come begin dey pack all the different meat put together go put inside the place wey them dey grind am. Na so I do for five days before my oga come ask me one day say wetin I dey take the meat them wey remain do because the man wey dey come collect the meat for night talk say him never see meat for five days now. I just swell up, shine my teeth well, I come tell oga say I don dey help am for the last five days to see say we get more meat to sell. Him say how? I come tell am how I dey pack all the meat from all the different section them together come grind am put for pack send out. Na that day nahim I see red oyibo for the first time for my life. Him shout! Him come begin dey run about for factory dey call all the shop them wey we supply meat. When him finish all the thing him dey do, him come sack me. Him talk say them no suppose mix different kind of meat together, him say them law talk say goat meat separate, cow meat separate and all kind of meat get to stay separate.
I beg, na that day I know say something dey this country. Na who don hear that kind thing before say them dey separate meat? Before we kill them no be together all the goat and cow dey? When we chop them nko? No be together them dey for belle? I no fit understand this people oh. I beg nahim make I say make I ask my country people whey dey America this one question: since cow and goat no dey fight for ground when them dey together, them no dey fight sef for belle when them enter belle, why oyibo dey do them like say dem dey quarrel? No be the same mama born them?