Successful and Proud Of It: A Response to Sabella Abidde

by Cynthia Okodede

It was always a dream of mine. A dream that eventually placed me in a stressful situation. For years I prayed that the day would come when I would be considered successful.I envied the rich and famous and viewed them as successful. I held steady to my jobs as daytime Dog Catcher and nighttime Private Bodyguard. I wasn’t initially pleased with what I did for a living until I realized to be successful; one has to be proud of what he or she did. I was proud to be a DCPB. I was bulky but not particularly well toned or structured in an athletic form.At 6’4, 345 pounds I towered over a lot of people and could be pretty intimidating in size. Though the most obvious bulging part of my body was my stomach, I was still intimidating in stature.

I was hired as a bodyguard based on my menacing size alone. To compliment my size in case I ever got challenged physically, I took to Karate. An outstanding sport it was. However, the intensity, speed and outrageous fast-paced metabolism that it brought to me were too much to handle so I quit after three months. Interestingly though, within three months I learnt to defend and take down. That means I learnt to weave my hands strategically in slow, circular motions, position them in a defensive way and tactfully take down potential opponents if the need ever arose. The good news is I have never had to use them. My practice routine has been steady in front of my mirror. Admittedly, the additional reasons I dropped out of training were the cost of membership and food that was required to replenish my body after each exercise. It was costing me a lot of money to feed myself and in my drive to be successful I had to ensure that I maintained my 4500 calories per day food intake at very minimum cost.

Anyway, before I digressed, I finally can be deemed successful as indicated by all the great changes and accomplishments in my life. I currently have a sport car with a moon roof. It is a 2-seater, 1984 Ford EXP. Most folks think it is a Corvette because of all the upgrades I have implemented. I smartly took off the Ford and EXP logos and glued on a Corvette sign. I spent $3,000 installing customized spinners on it (got to have the special wheels) as a sport car with no spinners is like a Jet Plane with no gas. I purchased a set of leather clothing like the Hollywood guys and practiced to walk like the rich and famous. I started drinking Starbucks coffee to make me feel special though I can’t stand the taste. At times, I would make my own coffee and simple empty it into a Starbuck cup.

I now have a savings account with some solid cash in it. Conventional wisdom says we must have six months earning in reserve and I have over $8,000 saved up recognizing the cost of my shared room is only $375 per month including utilities. Some of my friends are starting to envy my newfound success. They are probing into my actions and sudden high level of confidence and I have to control my pride to remain connected to them. My Dog Catcher job is going great and I have been able to connect with more people than I thought possible. What is it with people and dogs? The razor sharp teeth of dogs could spell doom for most folks but yet, each time I bring back one of those canine runaways the owner acts as if I am the best person on earth.

Oh, by the way, before I digressed again, I finally realized that I am a success when I suddenly received three credit card solicitations. What a blast.I was so excited that I flexed my muscles till they hurt. I had to pluck down a couple of 600 mg Motrin tablets. Well, I feel like I can afford anything I want. It takes very little to please me. I am actually thinking of a career change as a nightclub bouncer. Now, that will bring the recognition fast.

With my newfound achievements, my car, savings, ability to buy anything I want and all the recognition and more, I have no regret that I dropped out of high school. Most weak folks thought I will never make it but here I am a self-made success story. So my their friend Sabella, success comes to those that work hard and are willing to proclaim, “I have made it.” In my case, I made it and became successful all in my mind and the world embraced my new found success.

I will draft the secret to self-success after I catch the next fierce-looking dog and practice my karate. Oh, I also need to get a new set of super-thick gloves as a Rat Terrier almost chewed up the last set I had during a routine duty call. This cross breed of Fox Terrier and Manchester Terrier could be very loving but sometimes vicious when you cross it.


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olusegun October 25, 2006 - 6:37 am

That was a great article,that make ypu strong and health with all the calore per.That really impressive. its up.

rosie October 20, 2006 - 4:41 pm

So, I guess the moral of the story is to enjoy what you do and be smart about your money … and success will follow. Well, it seems easy when you put it that way.

Marilyn October 20, 2006 - 1:41 am

You certainly kept my interest till the end. Good fun piece.

Anonymous October 19, 2006 - 7:58 pm

Very tongue in cheek! i thoroughly enjoyed it.

Private citizen October 18, 2006 - 11:03 am

Excellent piece Cynthia. I enjoyed it.


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