I knew that would get your attention! There is just something about a meaty black girl such as myself, with an ‘exotic’ sounding name. (Chinwe = CHIN-WAY) having an eating disorder.
Psych majors among you have probably ‘busted’ me and figure that I MUST have some kind of problem or else I definitely wouldn’t have denied it. Especially since nobody asked. Hmm.
Okay, the truth is I suspect I may have some kind of problem. Everything in me rebels against this diagnosis – because well, black girls just don’t get stuff like this, right? Myth No. 1. I actually went to go check some Eating disorder websites today and mid-click of my mouse it struck me that ‘perfectly normal people’ JUST DON’T DO THAT! I also have no food in my house and instead of being frantic, I am comforted by it, because at least this means that I won’t eat, ‘cos I can’t. YIPPEE! Scary huh? I know, I am freaking myself out too.
My sister feels I may be ‘pre-anorexic’, if there’s any such word. I must state here that I vehemently disagree. I mean, doesn’t every size 6 want to be a 2? Who doesn’t feel bad after eating a ‘Friendly’s hot fudge ice cream sundae’? Doesn’t every one have some kind of ‘anti-food’ mantra (mine is ‘food is not your friend’ – to be repeated when temptation is greatest) that, if I may add, doesn’t work? Doesn’t every girl hate her thighs, bum and abs? And who, after a trip to the mall, post-being visually assailed by those skinny young things with bare midriffs, bottom halves clad in ultra-low rise jeans, doesn’t want to be 18 again?
Let that person cast the first stone then. But of course it is pointless having an eating disorder and being 130 lbs and above, so I will give it up, as I hate indulging in harmful, non weight reducing exercises?
But hey, don’t blame me – blame the GAME! There’s no escaping the “skinny is happy” myth that is being perpetrated. “Happy hours at work are slowly being substituted with Yoga classes – I mean what better way to promote ‘inter-colleague’ bonding than a yoga pant filled, candle fumes smelling, sweaty bosses and ‘harassed brown nosing underlings’ atmosphere. Mm hmm. What will we hear of next? A “Starve for a thinner America” dinner? Or lack of (chuckle. Chuckle – Get it?). The incentives are getting better too – a boss gave his employee a pair of Kenneth Cole shoes, worth about $150 for losing 15 pounds. Hmm. Tempting… even though I daresay I prefer to eat my leather. Okay, I’m even grossing myself out here.
But my point is…(what was my point again?) – Oh, yeah, I am NOT anorexic and that’s my final answer!